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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28452762">SEAL Buck ficlets</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Paddy_2020/pseuds/Paddy_2020'>Paddy_2020</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The SEAL and the Medic. [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>9-1-1 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Army Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Gay Character, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Supportive Firehouse 118 Crew (9-1-1 TV), U.S. Navy SEAL Evan "Buck" Buckley</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 22:47:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>53,276</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28452762</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Paddy_2020/pseuds/Paddy_2020</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Just some stand alone ficlets with Buck as a Navy SEAL. I will warn if there are any potential triggers - eg. PTSD attacks or Graphic violence</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Evan "Buck" Buckley &amp; Evan "Buck" Buckley's Parents, Evan "Buck" Buckley &amp; Firehouse 118 Crew, Evan "Buck" Buckley &amp; Maddie Buckley, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley/Original Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The SEAL and the Medic. [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2042890</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>271</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>633</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. How come you never wear yours then?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Another take on the scene before the well incident where Christopher finds Eddie’s medal and Buck says he would never take it off if he had one. Contains a Buddie first kiss and some depictions of violence, although its not particularly graphic.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b> <span class="u">118 - a few hours before the well incident</span> </b>
</p><p>“Buckley, testing” Bobby said into his radio</p><p>”Cap we have visitors!” Buck shouted in reply</p><p>”Buck, the idea of this radio test is to actually test the radios”</p><p>”Sorry, cap we have visitors” Buck said into his radio, causing Bobby to laugh “Did I pass”</p><p>”Well your radio certainly did”</p><p>”Come on, it wouldn’t be a radio test without someone messing it up”</p><p> </p><p>”So mijo, on your way in for show and tell. Where’s mr hamster?”</p><p>”Well, he’s not bringing his new favourite hamster anymore.” Carla said. “<em>Somebody </em>was having a root around in his father’s bedroom” she added, handing him the presentation box for his silver star, just as Buck walked over.</p><p>”Oh, is that your medal. You know I’ve never actually seen a silver star before. Why do you never wear it?”</p><p>”Never found the right clothes to wear it with”</p><p>”All I’m saying is that if I had a medal, I’d never take it off”</p><p>”And don’t we know it” Hen said as she passed behind him.</p><p>Eddie can remember back to the blue rosette lapel pin Buck was wearing on his dress suit jacket the day of the lawsuit hearing as well as on the day of Shannon’s funeral and he suddenly remembers that he had been meaning to bring up the fact that he knew the rosette corresponded to a medal of honour - he had checked the DoD website after the lawsuit and he saw the name:</p><p>Buckley E - Lieutenant - Afghanistan 2001-present</p><p>But he had never thought it was the right time to bring it up. Just as he was about to speak, Christopher interrupted his thoughts, asking </p><p>“Daddy, can you tell me about how you got your medal, for my presentation?”</p><p>”Uhmm Chris I’m not sure...”</p><p>”Please”</p><p>Carla just fixed him with her best ‘you’re gonna have to come up with something’ look and Eddie said, “sure, toned down, child appropriate war stories. I’ll tell you all about it when we get home tonight” then as they were leaving he smiled at Carla and said “I’ll figure something out”</p><p>Buck just laughed at him and said “Don’t traumatise your kid. But seriously, why do you never wear it. I mean it, if I had one I’d wear it all the time”</p><p>”Then why don’t you wear yours?”</p><p>”What?”</p><p>”You know, why don’t you wear your medal of honour that you never talk about?”</p><p>”Eddie, how did you find out about that?”</p><p>”Saw the rosette on your dress suit, put two and two together and checked the DoD website where you’re listed as a recipient, Lieutenant Buckley”</p><p>”I’m sorry for lying to you Eddie”</p><p>”What, no! I’m not annoyed, I just don’t want you thinking you have to play down your achievements to make me feel good. Cause that’s what you were doing”</p><p>”Ummm, yeah, kinda. But I also don’t like talking about mine. It was a pretty hellish experience”</p><p>”Nightmares?”</p><p>”Yeah, but then I’ve got a pretty big stack of material for those by now”</p><p>“You and me both Buck. You and me both”</p><p>Just then Hen walked over, but stopped when she heard the conversation</p><p>”When did you get it?”</p><p>”October 2014. You got yours in 2015 didn’t you?”</p><p>”Yeah, along with a couple of bullets in my hip and shoulder”</p><p>”Ouch, I got clipped in the shoulder in 2011. It hurt like hell”</p><p>“What unit were you with, I was on tour then. You never know we might have met and never realised” he joked</p><p>”I doubt it. I wasn’t deployed to Afghanistan then, I was on an op in Pakistan”</p><p>”One second, you were a...”</p><p>Buck just nodded, “team six. I got clipped by one of the perimeter guards, so I never got much closer to the action, but yeah I was there when they killed him. Heard them saying they’d got Bin laden over the radio. Still if I hadn’t been injured, I’d have likely been in the helicopter crash a few months later”</p><p>”Shit, talk about a close call. We all saw it on the news, it looked awful”</p><p>”Yeah, I saw it too. I knew they were going to want payback, just I never thought it would be <em>that </em>bad”</p><p>Hen was still listening to the conversation as Chim walked up to her. She just extended a hand, warning him to keep quiet and then motioned for him to listen.</p><p>”What actually did you do to get the star then?”</p><p>“What did you actually do to get yours?” Eddie rebutted smugly.</p><p>”Well, I can’t tell you everything, but I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours”</p><p>“Ok, well I don’t want to go into massive detail. But my helicopter was shot down and there were multiple wounded, I dragged them out under fire with the help of another medic, who covered me and we then had to sit there through machine gun fire until help arrived. You?”</p><p>”Rescued my team from an ambush. The truck we were in was attacked by an RPG and it killed the driver, I was sitting next to him and I got out of the truck and ran though the bullets to pull him from his seat and got him into the back before taking the wheel and getting us out of there. That’s all I remember, after that everything’s hazy and I woke up in the Walter Reid medical centre. Apparently I blacked out from a head wound I didn’t realise I’d sustained and my foot stayed on the accelerator, our truck was found crashed into the side of a school by British forces”.</p><p>”Did you get hurt?”</p><p>”Shrapnel wound to my head and three bullets in my thigh. I was apparently that high on adrenaline that I didn’t realise until it started to wear off and I blacked out from the pain”</p><p>“Guess you and I have a bit more in common than we first thought”</p><p>”Sure do”</p><p>Just then Hen sauntered over and they realised she’d heard everything </p><p>“How much did you hear” Buck asked, embarrassed</p><p>”Enough”. Hen replied “And this goes for both of you. Now that we know, you don’t have to be embarrassed about your service again”</p><p>“Why did you listen?”</p><p>”Thought you were going to pull your heads out of your asses and get together and I didn’t want to miss it”</p><p>”Oh, haha, nope. Eddie isn’t even Bi so that’s not going to happen”</p><p>”Well, I am but you’re not so. I never... one second. Why did you say I wasn’t Bi rather than that you aren’t Bi”</p><p>”Well, I am”</p><p>Hen just looked at them smugly and said “And this why I said you need to get your heads out of your asses”</p><p>”You knew, you’ve been trying to set us up!”</p><p>”Of course, you’re freaking perfect for each other!” Hen shouted, drawing Chim and Bobby’s attention.</p><p>”What do you say then Eddie, do you fancy a drink so we can share some more war stories?” Buck asked innocently.</p><p>”Hell yeah” Eddie replied pulling the other man in for a brief kiss, he kept it workplace appropriate but there was certainly a promise of much more in the gesture.</p><p>”Firefighter Wilson” Bobby joked into his radio, which he was still wearing from earlier “Status”</p><p>“Operation get two dopes who are head over heels for each other to confess it is complete”.</p><p>”HEY! We’re not two dopes!” Buck shouted.</p><p>”We kinda are to be honest. But you’re my dope”<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“Smooth Diaz, real smooth”</p><p>Hen then interrupted him by saying “Also, we want to see the medal of honour. Yes mr Navy SEAL, I heard that bit of the conversation too. And I’m proud of you”</p><p>“Thanks Hen”</p><p>”Just don’t tell Christopher, or else he’ll do a joint presentation and your story is much harder to tone down”</p><p>”True” then the alarm went, before anything more could be said</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Happy New Year!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The fireworks on New Year’s Eve, trigger PTSD attacks for both Buck and Eddie. When the team walks in on them cowering together in a corner they think that the boys have finally got together and their shouts of encouragement make this even worse. They only stop when Tia and Maddie hear the two men shouting and come running to stop the team unwittingly triggering flashbacks. Graphic Violence and PTSD flashbacks - if this is in any way a trigger for you, do not read!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">
    <strong>New Year’s Eve, 118:</strong>
  </span>
</p><p>Buck walked into the bunk room at five minutes to midnight, looking for Eddie. “Hey you” he greeted, pausing to kiss his partner. “I thought I’d find you in here”</p><p>”Likewise. What are we like, both hiding from the harmless fireworks we know are going to happen”</p><p>”90% of the times we’ve heard those noises, they weren’t harmless and we didn’t know they would happen, so I think we’re pretty justified”</p><p>”I know, I just... if they’d told me about this the day I’d signed up for the army. I wouldn’t have done it”</p><p>”Are you out of meds?”</p><p>”What?”</p><p>”Its just you always get like this when your Paxil runs out, and you’re too busy to go to the doctor’s office to have the prescription filled again”</p><p>”Coming from you that’s a bit rich”</p><p>”Yeah, fair point. But you become reflective, I just become irritable. At least people sympathise with you when yours run out. Meanwhile everyone just thinks I’m a dick” Buck joked.</p><p>”Well, I would defend you. But for the first two days I knew you I know that’s what I thought”</p><p>”Anyway, are you hiding out in here until the fireworks are over?”</p><p>”Yeah, you?”</p><p>”Well, it was between here and the toilets. But given that you’re here, do you think you could have my back?”</p><p>”Only if you’ll have mine”. They then snuggled together, bracing for the flashbacks to come</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>”10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! HAPPY NEW YEAR!” *Woosh, Bang, Bang, Crack woosh, Crack, Bang*</p><p>”Has anyone seen Buck and Eddie?” Bobby walked up to Chim and Hen, thinking they were the most likely to know where the two firefighters had gone.</p><p>”Not a clue Cap”</p><p>”They’d better not be drinking, we’re on duty tonight”</p><p>”They wouldn’t be that stupid. My money’s on them having sorted themselves out and that they’re sitting somewhere doing very dirty things we don’t want to see” Hen replied</p><p>”Not at the station. But kissing? Yeah probably” Bobby thought out loud.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Meanwhile, Eddie POV:</b>
</p><p>
  <em>Come on Eddie. You know the fireworks are going to happen, it doesn’t need to be like last year - Chris doesn’t need to see his dad like that again. You’ve got Buck here to keep you safe. You can get through this, just hold him close and ride it out, you’re not in Afghanistan, you’re in Los Angeles at a fire station. It’s all mind over matter, you won’t get hurt, Buck will protect you, Buck will keep you safe.</em>
</p><p>*Bang*</p><p><em>Ahhhhh</em>, </p><p>‘Diaz! DIAZ! Get over here!’</p><p>*Bang*</p><p>’MEDIC!’</p><p>The flashbacks were vivid and brutal, but Buck was grounding him. Buck was there to protect him this time, he could do it provided Buck was strong for him.</p><p>*Woosh, Crack*</p><p>Eddie felt Buck whimper next to him - going though his own admit one viewing of hell. With every Bang he could feel the big man pulling him closer and tighter until the embrace was so strong it hurt. And then it dawned on him</p><p>
  <em>Buck can’t protect you. No one can protect you, Buck has his own battle to fight, you’re alone. Alone.</em>
</p><p>‘We’re alone! Choppers won’t be out here for another half an hour. DIAZ! do you think they can last that long?”</p><p>*Woosh*</p><p>‘Diaz! Stop being a hero and get your fucking head down! What the fuck are you doing! GET YOUR BLOODY HEAD DOWN!’</p><p>Right before his eyes, Eddie could see it clearly. His helicopter had crashed and his team and patients were lying wounded around him, one dead. He vividly relived the experience of dragging the survivors out as the guns fired all around him. Then he felt the stabbing pain in his shoulder - it was something he’d gotten used to - during these attacks, his body had actually started to replicate the pain he had felt that day. The searing heat as bullet tore through skin, the numb crushing feel as it blew through bone and then the red hot, angry burn as it split apart into an exit wound. He felt it all as vividly as he had the day it happened.</p><p>‘I’ve got one more to go back to’</p><p>’Diaz he’s dead’</p><p>‘He has a wife and kids - he comes home too’</p><p>’You’re an idiot. A brave idiot, but an idiot no less’</p><p>‘Cover me!’</p><p>*Bang*</p><p>Eddie could practically feel the bullet rip into his side</p><p>*Bang* </p><p>That was the one that had gone into his arm</p><p>*Bang* </p><p>Another one in his side</p><p>*Bang*</p><p>That one grazed his helmet and he doesn’t remember anything else. Then he realised, he thought Buck was holding him tight, but he was gripping in for dear life, buck was literally gasping for air, no, one second. Buck was gasping for air, yet Eddie wasn’t holding on that tightly?</p><p>
  <b>Buck POV</b>
</p><p>
  <em>You can do this Evan. Just ride it out. Eddie’s here and he has your back. Just like you have his. You don’t need to go back to that day. You have no one here to worry about, no one here’s gonna die.</em>
</p><p>*Bang*</p><p>‘CONTACT LEFT!’</p><p>‘SHIT, SHIT, SHIT, SHIT, SHIT. How did they find us!?’</p><p>Buck could see his team falling before his very eyes. Walker first, then Anderson. Blaney dropping to the ground with a spray of blood surrounding his head as multiple bullets ripped into its form at once. Then he felt it, that white hot pain flooding though his leg, the telltale red blotch blossoming from his leg, and as he looked around he realised - he was alone, all bar one fellow SEAL had been killed and Buck was hardly able to move, he just had to hope that petty officer Moran would take pity on his lieutenant and help him along. As Buck stood up, he felt about fifteen sites across his body riddled with pain, and from the look he was getting from his fellow SEAL, he looked just about as bad as he felt.</p><p>*Woosh, Bang*</p><p>‘Shit, is that them?’</p><p>’Yeah, keep down and hope they go past’ </p><p>
  <em>The music, that music would haunt him forever. It was some sort of 80s heavy metal and it was a sound he could never bear to hear again. Before joining the 118, the </em>
  <em>98 had once had to help at a heavy metal concert and they were playing the exact same track that he had heard as the insurgents passed - Buck had been forced to run to the toilets and had vomited his guts up three times before he could return to his crew.</em>
</p><p>He felt Eddie pull him closer and for one brief second he felt at peace and safe, and then the darkness engulfed him again</p><p>’Are they gone sir?’</p><p>’No, they’re camping out. We’re just going to have to stay awake until they go’</p><p>*Bang*</p><p>’What are they doing?’</p><p>’Buck, they’re practicing how they’re going to execute us’</p><p>’What?’</p><p>’They’re getting it all set up to ensure the camera angles are right and everything - At least it’ll be quick I suppose’</p><p>’What are we gonna do. Surrender or chance getting out of here?’</p><p>”Well, I’m sure as hell not surrendering to that. Why, is that what you want to do’</p><p>’Fuck no. It’s just whatever we do we’re doing it together.’</p><p>’No man left behind’</p><p>’No man left behind’</p><p>’We could try to radio in for support lieutenant?’</p><p>’They’d be on to us instantly, we’d just be sending a flight crew to their deaths too. No we have to get out alone’</p><p>’You’re gonna think I’m crazy, but what if we steal one of their trucks?’</p><p>‘I like crazy. Especially when it might just work. How much ammo do you have? I’ve got five clips left’</p><p>’Two, I fell later than you’</p><p>’Take two of mine. That way we’re equal’</p><p>’lets do this’</p><p>*Bang, Woosh, Crack, Crack, Bang, Bang, Bang*</p><p>Buck could feel the white hot pain stabbing though him as he ran. He could feel the bullets ripping into his body, but he didn’t care he was getting out. They could do it, then he saw Moran fall</p><p>’MORAN! get up!’</p><p>’Can’t. You go on’</p><p>*Bang*</p><p>’No man left behind’ Buck shouted as he started shooting at the terrorists and dragging his buddy behind him. They reached the truck and sped off, eventually encountering a french convoy - that’s all he remembers</p><p>
  <em>I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe. I CAN’T BREATHE!</em>
</p><p>That is the only thing that ran through Buck’s head back at the Medical station - the doctors later told him he had a punctured lung, but that they didn’t realise until he almost flatlined twice. Now his body was tricking him into feeling that absolute terror once more - he couldn’t bear it he couldn’t bear it. Eddie was gripping tighter though and that sense of peace returned from earlier</p><p>
  <em>It’s over. Thank God it’s over. It’s over</em>
</p><p>Then the whistling and the cheering started</p><p><em>Noooooo, they got me, they got me there’re gonna kill me, THEY’RE GONNA KILL ME! </em>Buck thought.</p><p>Buck started sobbing, he could feel Eddie having a panic attack next to him. It was all over, they couldn’t protect each other. It was over</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Back at the party:</b>
</p><p>“Ok, Hen I don’t care what those two are doing. It’s been almost ten minutes since anyone has seen them, I’m starting to get worried they’re up to something. Help me find them will you”</p><p>”Sure thing. They’ll probably be in the bunk room don’t you think”</p><p>”Yeah come on”</p><p>”Ohh, I’m coming with you. Unless it’s super inappropriate I’m taking photos” a gleeful chimney said, his phone at the ready</p><p> </p><p>”Look, I guess we just weren’t interesting enough. Look at them curled up in the corner” Hen whispered to Bobby, before she, Bobby and Chimney started cheering, clapping and wolf whistling</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Maddie was talking to Athena when she heard the commotion in the bunk room, immediately going ashen. She saw a similar look of blind terror on the faces of Eddie’s Abuela and Tia and she realised what had happened. Within seconds she was running over to Tia. “Does Eddie suffer from PTSD, especially with loud noises?”</p><p>”Yeah. I take it Buck does too?”</p><p>”You have no idea. Or in fact maybe you do, and that’s what worries me. We’re gonna have to stop them”</p><p>”Agreed. Eddie was in such a state last year, I should’ve seen this coming. I just thought it would get better with time” Tia said as they ran to stop the emotional torture their loved ones were going through.</p><p>”STOP!”</p><p>”What Mads. It’s just a bit of teasing cause they’re cuddling”</p><p>”Chim, we misread this” Hen said, as she looked at the quivering and crying forms in front of them</p><p>”Shit, I never thought. They’re both vets, and the fireworks...” Bobby started</p><p>”And then you lot screaming and yelling at them” Maddie finished for him. “Yeah, thanks. I think we have it from here”</p><p> </p><p>”Buck, Eddie. It’s me, Maddie, and I’ve got Pepa with me, okay?”</p><p>”Edmundo, my darling. You’re okay, you’re in LA now, not wherever your head is. You’re okay” the pair approached slowly and tried to prise the two men apart, but they only held on stronger, sobbing into each other’s arms. <br/><br/>“Come on Buck, everything’s okay - you’re back stateside and we’re never letting you go away again” come here</p><p>”No, want Eddie” Buck groaned as the other man nuzzled into his neck. <br/><br/></p><p>Maddie and Tia worked at getting the two men calmed down, leaving two bottles of water and then letting them come down from their attacks in their own time. Before returning out to the rest of the station, to hear Athena giving Bobby an earful outside.</p><p> </p><p>”You idiot! You know what they’ve been through and yet you didn’t think that maybe, just maybe the only two members of your station who have actually been to war might be just a little rattled by explosions going off all around them?”</p><p>”I just didn’t think thena”</p><p>”Well, you can just not think yourself into sleeping on the sofa tonight Bobby, you hurt my boys so you hurt me!” She shouted, before storming back into the station”</p><p>”Maddie, Pepa. How are they?”</p><p>“In a bad way. They’re holding each other so tightly that I’m amazed no ribs have been broken”</p><p>Just then, a DJ started playing really loud heavy metal music on the station tv “Turn that off!”</p><p>”What?”</p><p>”Do as she says!” Athena shouted and the TV was instantly silenced</p><p>“Thanks. It’s one of Buck’s triggers, I don’t know why. But the last time he listened to heavy metal, he quite literally vomited the whole contents of his stomach up. He can’t talk about why, but I know that he can’t bear the sound”</p><p>”Eddie’s the same with helicopter rotors” Pepa chimed in, he won’t tell anyone why, but he nearly fainted one day when Chris was watching some sort of documentary on them.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Back in the bunk room:</b>
</p><p>“I take it your helicopter friends paid a visit?” Buck said ruefully to Eddie, when they finally broke apart.</p><p>”Yeah. I take it that your death metal fans were involved for you as well” Buck and Eddie had told each other the makeup of their nightmares several months previously, when they Independence Day fireworks sent them both into similar spirals. </p><p>”Yep, it helped having you there. I wasn’t so immersed in it all this time. I had a tangible link to the real world that I could cling to. So, I guess, thank you for being there”</p><p>”You did the same thing for me. We have each other’s backs, don’t ever forget that”</p><p>”I feel so embarrassed now. I don’t like looking weak and everyone’s just seen me at my worst”</p><p>”Well, I’ve seen you at your strongest. These attacks, they’re testament to our being survivors. So we’re gonna walk out there and face what ever they think of us. Cause we gave up our ability to enjoy New Year’s Eve and our ability to have nightmare free sleep, so they can be free to hold whatever opinion they want. Ok?”</p><p>”Ok” Buck said, pulling Eddie in for a grounding kiss before they walked out to see everyone looking at them</p><p>Athena walked up to them “Peters and Winters are going to cover your shifts, go home and get some rest you two”</p><p>”Thanks. I’m sorry for ruining your night guys” Buck said, looking at Winters and Peter’s sheepishly</p><p>”Don’t let me ever hear that again Buckley” Winters said softly, as he walked past them, “Now you do what Athena says and get some rest. I think you both are gonna need it after that”</p><p>”Thanks. Come on Eds. Yours or mine?”</p><p>”Mine’s closer”</p><p>”Ok” the two boys walked out arm in arm, snuggling together and if they had looked behind them, they would have seen Abuela, Tia, Maddie and Athena looking at them with warm smiles. Sure it had been a rough night, but they all knew that at least their boys now had a partner to look after them, and maybe one day that partner might be able to make the nightmares and flashbacks go away. </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. So what if I am!?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Josh asks Buck and Eddie to keep an eye on him for his graveyard movie date, and when it all goes to shit the ex-SEAL and his boyfriend come running to his aid.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Buck, can you do me a favour on Friday?”</p><p>“Well, it’s date night with Eddie - but I’ll help if we can do it as a couple?”</p><p>”Great, it’s actually for Josh - he’s going on a date with a guy he met online and he just wants someone there in case he’s not what he seemed and he asked me if I’d do it. But I don’t think I’d be much use to him - my hunky ex SEAL brother and his hunky ex Army boyfriend on the other hand... well I think you’ll be able to keep him pretty safe”</p><p>”I’ll have to confirm with Eddie, but we could have our date too and just keep an eye on them - so he’ll probably say yes”</p><p>”Great. I’ll text you the time and place. Thanks Buck”</p><p>”No problem Mads, now go help save the world”</p><p>”You too”</p><p> </p><p>”Hey Mads, I’ve just checked with Eddie. You can tell Josh we’re on for Friday”</p><p>”Great Buck. It’s at a local cemetery - romantic I know, and starts at eight. It’s a horror movie type of thing”</p><p>”Ok, tell Josh we’ll be there. And as for the whole romance side of it, do remember Eds and I count our first date as when we pulled a live grenade out of some poor guy’s leg in the back of an ambulance so...”</p><p>”This is exactly why <b>I </b>will be planning your wedding, when it eventually happens”</p><p>”Come on Mads, we’ve only been dating a year and a bit. We have to make sure we’ve got something that can last forever and then some, before we become the Buckley-Diaz’s - after all it wouldn’t be right for Chris to lose a mother and then a step father.”</p><p>”I suppose so, but I never believed in soul mates until I saw you with Eddie. Now I’m pretty sure they’re a thing”</p><p>”Okay Miss romance. How is my coworker by the way - any complaints. Does he need the Evan Buckley shovel talk?”</p><p>”Don’t you dare. Anyway, what does the Evan Buckley shovel talk consist of?”</p><p>”Well, something along the lines of - I know many ways to kill and if you hurt my sister you’re gonna get well acquainted with all of them”</p><p>”Ohh, scary. Anyway I’m sure Josh’ll be pleased you two are willing to help him”</p><p>”Hey, sometimes people like us need a bit of extra security - straight people don’t always get that so we’ll definitely not begrudge it”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><b>At the movie date</b> <b></b></p><p>”So, what do you do then?”</p><p>“I’m a 911 dispatcher. I’m never gonna be rich, but I suppose I feel like I make a difference”</p><p>”Yeah, I get that. I like you, if it’s not too early in the date to say that”</p><p>”It’s not” Josh replied, thankful for the dark night hiding how he was blushing</p><p>”How about you and I go and get better <em>acquainted</em>?” The other man whispered seductively</p><p>”I don’t normally do this on the first date, but I am in a bit of a dry spell, sooo... why not” They got up to leave, neither noticing Buck nudging Eddie to get his attention as they walked past the pair’s spot.</p><p> </p><p>”What do you reckon. Do we follow?”</p><p>”Give them a minute, and then go”</p><p>”Yeah, okay” Buck said, snuggling in for a kiss before checking Josh and his date had disappeared before getting up to follow them.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“...Parading your filth around here. I feel dirty from just touching you!” The man was shouting at Josh, backed up by three others</p><p>”What’s going on here?!” Buck shouted, giving his best menacing look - something you wouldn’t have thought would be so scary, given the puppy dog exterior he exudes 99% of the time</p><p>”Just a bit of faggot bashing, wanna join” Another unnamed man snarled</p><p>”I’d rather not” Buck said cooly, “Now you’re gonna let him go, before you do something you regret”</p><p>”Ohh look, we’ve got three for the price of one. Not bad” Josh’s date growled</p><p>”You two fags as well then?” One of the other men asked, in mock concern.</p><p>”Yeah, got a problem with that?” Buck said, stepping closer to them. “Now, you’re gonna let him go and you’re gonna fuck off and do whatever else you homophobic bigots do for fun. Ok?”</p><p>One of the men replied by smacking Buck, hard across the face. At that moment Eddie felt his blood run cold as his partner hardly even flinched - although he knew that the reaction was more due to his father than his SEAL training.</p><p>”Get off my boyfriend NOW!” </p><p>“Oh no, lover boy’s upset” one of the men sneered, moving to slap Buck again. However, this time the ex-SEAL caught it, twisting the man’s wrist until he heard a snap and saw him crumple in pain. The next two assailants were a little more tricky as they attempted to coordinate and because one had a knife - until Buck disarmed him in about two seconds flat that is. The other one went in to attack Eddie, fists flying in rapid succession, until he was taken down by a well placed punch to the windpipe. Eddie winced as he did it - actually wanting to apologise to the guy, cause that was going to hurt for a while. The final attacker was Josh’s date, Greg as they’d later discover in court. He tried to flee, forcing Buck to chase him. The younger, fitter man caught up easily and quickly tackled Greg to the ground. He could hear Eddie on to 911 in the background, and felt himself being glad that his partner was okay. <br/><br/>“Oh, by the way, whatever your name is. Just because my boyfriend and I are gay doesn’t mean that he’s not a retired soldier with a silver star and that I’m not a retired Navy SEAL. Don’t ask don’t tell was repealed quite a while ago mate - perhaps you should learn to respect others enough to recognise that their sexuality isn’t all that they are. Anyway, the cops’ll be here soon and if you ever come near my friend over there again, I will kill you. I hope you don’t doubt that for one second” Buck snarled the final sentence, before dragging Greg to his feet and frog marching him over to wait for the police.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>118 families’ night two weeks later:</b>
</p><p>So anyway, Maddie. I’m just lying there a snivelling wreck on the ground and then I see your brother an Eddie arrive and they just go full badass mode on these four guys. By the time it was over I actually got an apology from one of them” Sure, it was something they were joking about now, but the whole 118, as well as the 911 dispatch centre was rattled by Josh’s incident, and thankful that Buck and Eddie had dealt with the attackers.</p><p>”Just to let you know you two. There are four very repentant idiots in the cells down at the station tonight” Athena said, walking over to them “I got to process one of them personally” she included with a look of glee.</p><p>”Which one: Greg, broken wrist, crushed windpipe or dislocated shoulder?”</p><p>”Oh, I got Greg - he has got either a newfound respect for the SEALS, the LGBT community, the Army or for firefighters. I’m honesty not sure which, but he’s learnt his lesson all right - I doubt he’ll ever pull a stunt like that again. And I don’t want you two pulling a stunt like that again - I don’t want you getting hurt!”</p><p>”Yes mum” they chorused in unison, earning them both a look that can only be described as withering, still it was worth it and everyone knew that the Grant-Nash’s were better parents to the pair than their own mothers and fathers, so the title did fill Athena with a sense of joy, even if it made her feel more than a little old.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. He’s my husband</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The team have been ribbing Buck about not dating, only hooking up for a while - then they learn things are not as the seem.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Come on Buck, why don’t you date anyone? It was a bit sad when you did all the hookups, but this is a whole new level of sad” Chim exclaimed</p><p>”I guess, I’m just not into dating right now” Buck said simply, shooting a playful glance at Eddie who mock glared back at him.</p><p>“To be fair Buckley - what’s got into you, you used to steal the truck for hookups and now I have a more exciting sex life than you” Bobby said casually, causing the whole crew to grimace.</p><p>”Didn’t need the image Cap, didn’t need the image” Buck said, groaning. Bobby just shot him a sly look - he was the only one on the team who knew about Buck and Eddie being married as they had been forced to tell him when they started working together. Fortunately before any more tidbits of Bobby and Athena’s sex life could be revealed, the alarm rang - signalling a call.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Back at Buck and Eddie’s house:</b>
</p><p>“Please tell me that you did not try claim that you were taking the truck out on a hookup the day you used it to pick our son up from school on his birthday”</p><p>”Guilty as charged, although I also did take it out for a fake hookup to cover my tracks the next day”</p><p>”Okayyy...” Eddie said, starting to feel jealous</p><p>”Stop your fretting, nothing happened. She was a lesbian and needed a picture with a hot firefighter to try to throw her family off the scent, meanwhile I needed the same from her to throw Bobby off the scent”</p><p>”So that was why you almost got fired from the LAFD?”</p><p>”Yep, I wanted to introduce everyone to my wonderful husband after he got back from his tour”</p><p>”Then he got back and started working with you and you had a mini freak out?”</p><p>”Yeah, pretty much. Then I thought it would be a fun game to pretend to hate you for a while”</p><p>”When are we going to tell them?”</p><p>”I’m thinking that we have a barbecue round here and announce it properly”</p><p>”Yeah, sounds good. Oh by the way, there’s a letter from the Navy addressed to you”</p><p>”Oh, wonder what that is?”</p><p>”Your discharge maybe?”</p><p>”No, I’ve still got another eight months with the reserves before my contract’s over. Shit, do you think it could be...”</p><p>”No, I’m sure it’s not a deployment Buck. You’re gonna be fine” Eddie reassured as his husband opened the thick envelope</p><p>“Eds, it’s a deployment”</p><p>”Shit, how long?”</p><p>”Six months - It’s just supporting Embassy Marines in Baghdad given the situation out there, but still”</p><p>”It’s still not something you want particularly but I’m happier knowing you’ll at least not be jumping out of a plane from god knows how many thousand feet and landing in a war zone”</p><p>“Yeah, still sucks though. I’ll see if there’s anything I can do to get an early discharge - my service record and current occupation might help a bit”</p><p>”Yeah” Eddie said, sensing the dejection in Buck’s tone and knowing that the chances of getting a discharge this close to a tour were unlikely.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>118 Two days later:</b>
</p><p>“Cap, I need to talk to you about something”</p><p>”Sure Buck. Is something up?”</p><p>”Yeah, kinda. I’m getting deployed to Iraq in two months time”</p><p>”Ok, so you’re leaving the LAFD?”</p><p>”No, I’m in the reserves as my contract with the Navy isn’t complete. I agreed to do ten years with the SEALs, and those years will be up later this year when I turn thirty. After that I will officially cease to be lieutenant commander Buckley and will just be firefighter Buckley”</p><p>“Right, how long are we talking about here?”</p><p>”Six”</p><p>”Six weeks, shit. We’re gonna miss you”</p><p>”Six months” Buck said, feeling emotional about it again</p><p>”Oh Buck. Is there anything I can do?” Feeling sad that he wasn’t going to see the man who had become like another son to him for so long.</p><p>”I’ve already appealed and tried to get out of it. But short of getting a dishonourable discharge, I’ve not really got any options”</p><p>”Well, what about Eddie and Christopher?”<br/><br/></p><p>“The sad thing is that Chris didn’t even seem shocked by it. He was actually surprised it was ‘only’ six months”</p><p>”Poor kid”</p><p>”Well, that’s military romances for you. It used to kill us when his dad was away for 18 month tours”</p><p>”Are you going to be ok?”</p><p>”Yeah, two months training at Coronado and then four months of duty at our embassy in Baghdad - I’ve been on much worse operations”</p><p>”I meant are you going to be OK, with missing your husband and your child. Buck”</p><p>”Probably not - the last time I was deployed Eds was actually with me for a portion of it and they let us live together on base until I was sent elsewhere, yet it still killed me.”</p><p>”Well, we’ll all write and try to video call frequently if we’re allowed to”</p><p>”Thanks, Bobby. Now what paperwork needs submitted?”</p><p>”This is the first time I’ve had a reservist deployed, so I’m honestly not sure - I’ll speak to brigade and get back to you. When are you gonna tell everyone else?”</p><p>”When my friends in HR get back to me and confirm the inevitable”</p><p>”Are you sure there’s nothing I can do?”</p><p>”I would tell you if there was Bobby, I promise you”</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>one week later:</b>
</p><p>The 118 were sitting eating dinner and Buck immediately turned the conversation round to himself.</p><p>”Guys, there’s something I need to tell you all” He started, as Eddie grasped his hand under the table</p><p>”What Buckaroo? Finally got a hot date?” Hen asked wiggling her eyebrows</p><p>“No, I’m being deployed in seven weeks time”</p><p>”As in a military deployment?”</p><p>”Yeah”</p><p>”You joined the army and didn’t tell us. Buck why?”</p><p>”No, it’s not like that Hen. Before I came to the 118 I was a Navy SEAL and my contract was for ten years of service with the SEALs, four of which had an active duty requirement. I ended up doing eight years active duty and then I settled down and moved to LA to start in the fire department, however I still had to do two more years in the reserves. Generally I’ve been pretty lucky, parade night once a week and the odd training week. But other than that I’ve been at home, but now with the situation in Iraq, the government wants reinforcements at the Baghdad embassy in case things kick off as they are very likely to”</p><p>”How long?” Hen asked, shocked at the dual identity of her youngest colleague.</p><p>”Six months. Two in Coronado then four in Baghdad”</p><p>”Does Maddie know?” Chim asked</p><p>“She knows about the SEALs but not about the deployment yet. Let me break it to her though”</p><p>”Of course. It just seems kinda sudden. Did you know Cap?”</p><p>”I did, but I was told in confidence and I kept it. Just as I’d keep it for anyone”<br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Two months later:</b>
</p><p>“Well, I guess this is it Eds. I’ll see you in two months time once my training’s over”</p><p>”Yeah babe. Keep safe, I do not want a call to the hospital because you get hurt during training”</p><p>”I love you Eddie. Please don’t think I’m not going to miss you. I will”</p><p>”I love you to Evan and I’ll miss you just as much” Eddie said, coming in for a kiss</p><p>”Find a room you two!” John Mitchells, one of the lieutenants in Buck’s unit called over jokingly. Buck responded with a raised middle finger, as is their tradition when they tease each other at this point. <br/><br/></p><p>“Be safe!” Eddie called as Buck ran through the gates, knowing they wouldn’t see each other for another two months.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>118 Two months later - the first day of Buck’s pre deployment leave</b>
</p><p>“Buckaroo!” Hen called down to the figure walking in, wearing combat fatigues with Eddie and Chris by his side “Guys! He’s here!”</p><p>”Buck!” Bobby was now at the railing and was watching as the man charged up the stairs to meet them</p><p>The team immediately launched into catching their youngest member up on all of the events of the previous eight weeks, before the dreaded question came around - “how long till you leave?”</p><p>”Two weeks. Just enough time to get any last minute things done” Athena gave him a hug at this, knowing full well what ‘last minute things’ encompassed.</p><p>”You’re gonna be fine Buckaroo”</p><p>”Certainly hope so”</p><p>”Now, how come I didn’t know about any of this?”</p><p>”I don’t like talking about it. Feels kinda contradictory for my new line of work”</p><p>”Buck, don’t you ever think like that. Serving in the military is nothing to be ashamed of”</p><p>”I’m not ashamed. I just don’t like to say, cause people then start to presume things about me that just aren’t true”</p><p>”I get that. People expect me to be this hyper macho man cause I was in the army. I can only imaging what it’s like for you with the SEALs” Eddie said, always one to back his husband up.</p><p>”Anyway. Enough talk of that. I’ve got a nice lunch ready for us all. I even called in a favour from dispatch - unless there’s a really bad incident we’re off the roster for the next two hours” Bobby said.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Later that night:</b>
</p><p>“So, are we going to tell them before you leave?”</p><p>”No, it feels like a cop out. I was thinking it’ll be the first thing I tell them when I come back”</p><p>”Are you sure babe?”</p><p>”Yes, and I expect video chats from my favourite Diaz, as well as my husband” Buck said</p><p>”Don’t worry. I think that last time Shannon stopped contacting us cause she was bitter about the divorce. It was the first time she had actually been confronted with the fact that you were a nice person. Rather than the evil home wrecker she had in her mind”</p><p>”True - still, no excuses this time” Buck said, flashing a big smile “I want to see your faces ever night. You hear me, every night”</p><p>”Will that be something you can do?”</p><p>”Yeah, I’m allowed to bring my phone. Provided it stays in the Embassy”</p><p>”Well then I expect to see those baby blues every night too”</p><p>”Deal” Buck said, before snuggling into his husband’s side</p><p>“I really do love you Buck. You’d better come home to us”</p><p>”I fully intend on it. And on that note - you’d better keep yourself safe at work so I have someone to come home to”</p><p>”Deal” Eddie repeated, nuzzling into his usual spot at Buck’s neck.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Three months later</b>
</p><p>The rest of the 118 had seemed to move on from Buck’s departure, everyone still FaceTimed once a week. But he was no longer at the forefront of every conversation.</p><p>It was the time of year for Chris’s parent teacher conferences and Eddie felt the hole in his heart get torn ever greater as he walked into the school and introduced himself as Christopher’s father.</p><p>”Are you Mr Buckley or Mr Diaz sir?”</p><p>”Diaz” He croaked</p><p>”Will Mr Buckley be joining us?” The receptionist asked, probing for information</p><p>”No, he’s currently deployed to Iraq” Eddie replied, realising he had been too sharp when the receptionist flinched back. “Sorry, it’s been a long couple of months without him”</p><p>”It’s ok Mr Diaz. I take it you know your way around?”</p><p>“Yeah. Thank you”</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>that night:</b>
</p><p>“Eds, I’m so sorry but I’ve been given new orders. They’re a SEAL team down in Helmand after their convoy was hit by an IED attack and since we apparently had the cushiest tour out of all available units, we’ve drawn the short straw. I’m going to be here another three months”</p><p>Eddie could feel himself tearing up “No! How can they do that to you. You’ve already given them eight years of your life on active duty. Surely they can give you a break now!”</p><p>”I signed up for this Eds, I’m sorry but if they decide to send me on an extended tour, then it’s out of my hands. As you well know”</p><p>”Doesn’t make it any fairer. These last three months have been hard, I don’t know if I can bear another three, and now you’re going to an actual war zone”</p><p>”About that. I’ll be posting my phone back home to you. Can you keep it safe until I get back - we’re obviously not allowed to have phones with us in Afghanistan”</p><p>”Will we still be able to stay in contact?”</p><p>”You can still write and I’ll be able to call once a week, but no we’ll not have our current level of contact. Babe I’m so sorry. You know I wouldn’t be doing this if it wasn’t compulsory”</p><p>”I know” Eddie said, crying openly now. “Still doesn’t make it any easier”</p><p>Once they had finished their conversation Buck called Bobby<br/><br/></p><p>“Hey, Cap”</p><p>”Buck, are you okay?!”</p><p>”Yes, but could you go and check on Eddie please. My tour’s been extended by three months and he didn’t take it well. I think he’s in a bit of a state”</p><p>”Of course Buck. I’ll head round now”</p><p>”Who’s that” he heard Athena groan in the background</p><p>”Buck”</p><p>”What! Is everything okay!?”</p><p>”I’m fine Athena. Nice to see you”</p><p>”You too Buck” she said groggily</p><p>”Sorry about the time difference, but I was worried about Eddie. I’m gonna be sent to Afghanistan for three months and he’s pretty upset about the news”</p><p>”I’m sure he is. How are you Buck?” Athena said as Bobby got up to get changed and check on Eddie</p><p>”I’ve been better. I honestly just want to get home”</p><p>”I’m sure you do. Still, just think - three months and you’ll be home in time for Christmas”</p><p>”Yeah, but still - I’m gonna miss our five year wedding anniversary”</p><p>”Oh, kid. Anniversaries don’t matter”</p><p>”Huh?”</p><p>“All that will matter to your man is that you get home in one piece, if your marriage is strong enough every day should feel like an anniversary”</p><p>”I know but I had a room booked at the Waldorf Astoria for the night and everything. I wanted it to be really special”</p><p>”I know son. But the most special thing of all, for everyone is that you get home at the end of all this. Okay, now I have to give my husband his phone back, so bye Buckaroo”</p><p>”Bye Thena, bye Cap”</p><p>”Bye Buck”</p><p> </p><p><b>two and a half months later:</b> <b></b></p><p>“So when is Buckley getting back? Cause seriously, I deserve his job at this point” This was Lena Bosko’s comment that morning - Eddie doesn’t know if she just is naturally insensitive or if she is doing it deliberately, but he does know that he wants to storm over and scream that Buck is his husband and that she should watch her tone.</p><p>”Bosko, Buck hardly had a choice in any of this” Bobby said sharply</p><p>”I know, but I’ve done almost seven months here now and you’ve still not even changed the name plate on my equipment locker”</p><p>”That’s because you’re a temporary member of the crew! And because he is not!” Eddie shouted</p><p>”Huh, should’ve known you’d take his corner.”</p><p>”Lena, can I have a word for a minute. In private” Eddie asked. Pulling her to the side of the station</p><p>“What’s up with you? Don’t like me pointing out that you are obviously in love with your best friend. To the point at which it’s kinda sad because you know those feelings will never be reciprocated?”</p><p>”Oh, they’re reciprocated” he said “and this is the reason I will always be on his side” he declared pulling his dog tags from under his shirt</p><p>”Yeah, I get it. Army bro’s together and all that” she sneered </p><p>“no, this is why I will always have his back” he said. Waving the small gold ring attached to them”</p><p>”Shit Eddie. I’m sorry - I thought he was stringing you along like some jerk. I didn’t think you were actually...”</p><p>”Well, we are. And if you ever try to diminish the dedication my husband has towards his job again. We wont just be having a conversation about it. Clear?”</p><p>”I’m sorry Eddie, I really am. I honestly didn’t realise”</p><p>”Well, now you know. Also, don’t tell anyone else, we wanted to hold a barbecue for the team at our place and tell them properly once he gets back”</p><p>”Uhh, sure. I’m really sorr...” She said, but Eddie was already heading back to the station</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>1 month later:</b>
</p><p>“So Buckley - what are your plans when you get back to Eddie and Chris?”</p><p>”Well, we’ll be landing at 11pm and Eddie will be at work so I’ll go to the station and surprise him. Meanwhile Chris is at Eddie’s grandmother’s so I’ll see him the next morning. It really feels surreal to be going home”</p><p>”I know, I’m not cut out for this anymore”</p><p>”Well me neither. But this was my last tour anyway - as soon as I leave Coronado I’m no longer in the military”</p><p>”Lucky - I’ve got another year to do”</p><p>”I must say - I don’t envy you, but hopefully you stay stateside for most of it”</p><p>”Here’s hoping”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Buck went in to the station and saw all the trucks gone. It was hardly surprising that Eddie wasn’t there, given he had told him he would be getting back 24 hours later than reality - Buck wanted it to be a surprise. When he saw Jessica Morris who was the person behind for that call he called over to her and she ran over to give her colleague a hug.</p><p>”You’ve timed this perfectly Buckley - everyone’s on their way back as we speak”</p><p>”Don’t tell them I’m here. I want to surprise them”</p><p>”Okay” she said, half an answer and half a question.</p><p>Buck then ran over to the equipment lockers and placed a sticky note on the one saying ‘Diaz’. He wrote ‘come upstairs - you have a visitor who wants to see you’. Before running up to hide by the couches so they wouldn’t see him when they came in.</p><p>
  <b>five minutes later </b>
</p><p>“Hey, which one of you put this on my locker?” Eddie said, reading the note and thinking it was a prank</p><p>”I didn’t” Hen replied, equally confused</p><p>“Me neither” Chim agreed</p><p>”You see if this is a prank and I end up with a bucket of water over my head or something. I will commit murder, just saying”</p><p>”We really do not know what it’s there for Eddie. Maybe Chris couldn’t sleep with Buck getting back tomorrow?”</p><p>”It could be” Eddie said, running up the stairs at the thought of his son</p><p><br/>“Hey you” Buck walked out calmly - still in uniform as he had come straight over from the airport</p><p>”Buck!” Eddie said, running over to embrace his husband</p><p>”Miss me?” Buck said through a smile that reached his eyes</p><p>”You have no idea babe” Eddie muttered before kissing him. Forgetting totally about the rest of the crew</p><p>Buck, clearly forgetting this too. Kissed back just as passionately and that is how Hen walked in to find them</p><p>”Whoa, Howie get up here. Buck and Eddie have finally figured out that they like each other. Only took a military tour”</p><p>”Okay, surely you need air at this point boys” Bobby said, startled at how long the kiss was lasting. But smiling none the less.</p><p>When they eventually broke apart, Buck was positively glowing and as was Eddie. <br/><br/></p><p>“So, how did you figure out you liked each other then. Come on you know there was a bet” Hen said.</p><p>”Well, I met this hot medic in Afghanistan six years ago and his wife had just divorced him cause she found out he was gay - we got into a relationship and married about a year later. Then he came to work here and we were intending on having you all round to a barbecue but wanted to wait until I got back. So I guess there you go”</p><p>”Shit. How did we not notice?”</p><p>“I actually don’t know. We both wear rings on our dog tags. But then you didn’t even see my tags so that might explain it”</p><p>”I’m going to kill you Buckley!” Hen shouted, before pulling him into a massive hug. He could hear Chimney speaking to Maddie in the background and Eddie had picked his phone up to call Abuela. <br/><br/></p><p>“Right, Maddie and Chris are on their way. And I don’t doubt Athena will be too when I call her. We’re happy to have you back kid” Bobby said, pulling Buck into a hug if his own.</p><p>Ten minutes later Chris and Abuela came trundling into the station.</p><p>As soon as he saw his step father, Chris shouted “BUCKY!” At the top of his lungs and climbed the stairs as fast as he could, hugging into his side and not letting go.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. You’re a what?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Eddie is the only member of the team who knows about Buck’s status as a SEAL. How does the rest of the team take it when their experiences come to the fore in the ambulance scene?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Man, why do you hate me?” Eddie cornered Buck. Sick of the silent treatment his partner had been giving him the last few hours. </p><p>”I don’t like how you just fit in here. Didn’t have to earn your place like I did”</p><p>”Look, we both do the same job. I just did it while people were shooting at me” came the other man’s reply. Laced with antagonism - Eddie wanted to prove himself and if it took digging up his service. He’d do it. </p><p>”Well that’s great. But some of us were expected to fucking shoot back” Buck whisper shouted, riled up by his teammate’s comment. </p><p>”You served?”</p><p>”No” Buck hastily replied, trying to cover his embarrassment. One look from Eddie and he knew the man wasn’t fooled - “Ok, yeah - I was with Navy force protection for a year, and then the SEALs until I joined the LAFD”</p><p>”Why don’t you talk about it?”</p><p>”I’m embarrassed. You wouldn’t get it - you were the heroic medic who risked it all for his comrades. I’m one of the guys known for killing people in cold blood. Doesn’t really fit with the firefighter image”</p><p>”Well, both are saving lives - we help injured people, SEALs help stop them getting hurt in terror attacks in the first place”</p><p>“I guess. But I was kinda scared the team wouldn’t take well to it. And now if I say anything it’s just going to look like I’m squaring up to you - which I’m genuinely not. Actually kinda like ya”</p><p>”Oh really. Don’t let your Navy friends hear that - you’ll get disowned”</p><p>”They’re used to it. I dated a guy in the coast guards once. I think they’ll get over a friendship with an army medic”</p><p>“Oh, you’re into guys?”</p><p>”Again, didn’t tell anyone when I joined and it feels weird to now”</p><p>”Fuck, you really are an enigma. Aren’t you”</p><p>”Well, not intentionally. But yeah - I guess I’m just too private”</p><p>”Makes two of us” Eddie said extending his hand “Truce?”</p><p>”Truce” Buck echoed. Shaking it. <br/><br/></p><p>“So what did you specialise in with the SEALs? I knew a guy who was a sniper with them once.”</p><p>”Explosives and underwater operations”</p><p>”So... when dams explode unexpectedly just when we need them to?”</p><p>”Yep. That was people like me. Although I only ever did something like that once - generally I spent more time forcing entry into compounds and the likes or doing underwater rescue and recovery”</p><p>”Impressive”</p><p>”Not really - now a silver star. That’s impressive.”</p><p>”I did what anyone else would’ve done”</p><p>”The third highest military honour in the nation is not just for what anyone would’ve done. But I’d imagine it came with plenty of nightmare material?”</p><p>”Yeah” Eddie said weakly. Just then the alarm went, dispatching them to a call.</p><p>
  <b>At the call</b>
</p><p>“Ok, so the guy we’re going to has managed to shoot a dummy grenade into his leg and it’s nicked an artery. We’re gonna need to be fast in there so Hen, Chim grab your bags and get him ready for transport. Buck, Eddie get a stretcher ready for him. Also Eddie, you have some experience with this sort of thing so I want you in that ambulance too when it goes”</p><p>“Cap...” Eddie started until he saw the pleading look buck was giving him. He didn’t want his last dragged up unless it was totally necessary, and anyway Buck would be behind the ambulance the whole way. “I don’t think anyone in my unit was stupid enough to do that sort of thing. But I’ll still go - I at least have experience with the ordinance”. Buck mouthed ‘thank you’ at him, before they ran into the house to see the man.</p><p>”Right. That’s him good to go - wound’s dressed for hygiene and we’ll let the hospital take the round out cause it could’ve nicked an artery and I don’t want to test that theory” Hen said as she signalled Buck and Eddie over.</p><p>The two men got the patient onto the stretcher before taking him out to the ambulance. “See you at the hospital. Here’s a tip, if you hear a loud bang it’s too late” Buck quipped, earning him the middle finger from Eddie.</p><p>”Right o learned one. See you at the hospital” Eddie replied, before Buck shut the doors and banged twice on the rear panelling to say they were good to go.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Inside the ambulance.</b>
</p><p>“I think your dressing needs changed sir. I’ll just stick a new one on - we don’t want you to lose any more blood than you have to” Hen said, before turning to Eddie. “Get a fresh dressing will you Eds?” <br/><br/>“Sure” Eddie said, turning to get a fresh dressing and almost having a heart attack when he saw the gold cap glinting back at him “SHIT! CHIMNEY STOP!”</p><p>”What Eddie?” Hen asked confused</p><p>“That’s a live grenade Hen. The cap would be blue if it was a dud - gold signifies a live round”</p><p>Hen turned to the man who had been injured, saying “You sir have been a fool. Where the hell did you even get that?” Then without waiting for an answer called out to Chim in the driver’s seat “Chim, pull over! The damn grenade is live!”</p><p>”Shit! Pulling in now - what do we do Hen?”</p><p>“Call Cap. We’ll probably need the bomb squad down here!” Hen shouted</p><p>”Tell him to put Buck on the line” Eddie added</p><p>”What?” Hen asked confused at the last comment</p><p>“Just tell him to put Buck on. He’ll know what to do with this in the meantime”</p><p>”Okayyy” Chimney said, radioing the truck which was pulling in behind them. Two seconds later Buck came on the radio to them all</p><p>”Right, you do NOT want to move or touch that round in ANY way. No more dressings, NOTHING. Chim, you need to get to an area where a minimum of a 100m cordon can be set up and as for Hen and Eddie, you need to secure the patient as firmly as possible” to the gurney - keep the round as steady as possible. What exactly are we working with here Eds?”</p><p>”Looks old Buck. Probably Vietnam era. Why do you reckon it hasn’t gone off?”</p><p>”Back then they were mass producing rounds - the detonator’s probably a bit dodgy, although that’s all the more reason to not move it. I take it it’s American - is there a serial number or something on it that you can see?”</p><p>”Nope, although it is marked like an American round”</p><p>”Good - I might recognise it then. Until I can get in with you both you need to keep the area as immobile as possible - so drive slowly Chim. Best of luck to you - but if it hasn’t gone off yet, you should be fine until it’s agitated” Buck spoke with an air of authority on the matter that Hen and Chim couldn’t understand - meanwhile Eddie was totally unfazed, going about what Buck told him to do as if he trusted the man with his life”</p><p>”Buck, do you actually know what you’re on about” Bobby asked.</p><p>”Well, probably not the best time for this revelation, but when I told you I tried out for the SEALs I lied - I got in and I specialised in explosives and demolitions. Eddie’s the only one who knew”</p><p>”Well, I want you in that ambulance as soon as we pull up then - you clearly know your stuff - you’ll be able to stop anyone doing anything stupid by accident”</p><p>”That’s the plan I think”</p><p>Just then a communication came over the truck radio “Captain 118, Captain 118 - please be advised LA County Hospital are asking for you to park in the staff car park on the east side of the building. It has already been cleared awaiting your arrival”</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Five minutes later</b>
</p><p>“Buck, get in that Ambulance and figure out what the fuck is going on”</p><p>”On it Cap”</p><p> </p><p>”Right - you both seem to have done a good job so far. I’ll just check with Cap that we’re good for transport - only one of you should need to stay for that though. Otherwise get behind the cordon” Buck then spoke into his radio “Captain Nash, this is Buckley - are we good to move the patient out of the ambulance or are hospital staff coming out to us?”</p><p>”Neither Buck. The hospital won’t risk a surgeon and they won’t let us bring the patient in for obvious reasons. All of you get out of there and we’ll figure something out”</p><p>“Right. Sir for our safety we’re gonna have to leave for a few minutes. Please stay absolutely still and we’ll be back once we’ve figured out what to do”</p><p>”Oh, are you bomb squad?”</p><p>”No I’m an Ex-SEAL explosives expert and he’s an ex Army medic” Buck said, pointing to himself and Eddie, “so you’re in good hands”</p><p>“Oh, cool what’s it like...” The man said, making as if he was going to try to sit up.</p><p>”DON’T MOVE!” Hen, Chim, Buck and Eddie all shouted in unison - if it wasn’t as high stress it would’ve been funny</p><p>”We’ll be back out to you in a few minutes once everything’s figured out. Okay?” Hen tried this time</p><p>”Yeah, okay”</p><p> </p><p>“So, Evan Buckley, Navy SEALs? How come we didn’t know about that?” Hen asked once they crossed the cordon</p><p>”Cause I don’t like telling people. Eddie’s the only one who knows it all. Cap knew a bit, but up until today he thought I flunked out during hell week”</p><p>”Still, we’re your family Buck”</p><p>”Yeah. But Chief Petty officer Buckley and Firefighter Buckley are two different people. I doubt you’d have liked the former much”</p><p>”Well, I’m liking the former today” Chim said.</p><p> </p><p>“Right. So what’s the plan Cap” Eddie said, walking up to Bobby.</p><p>”Honestly, we don’t know. The bomb squad can’t remove it cause it’s a medical problem and handling explosives lies so far outside everyone else’s contracts that nobody wants near it”</p><p>”I’ll do it Cap” Eddie volunteered “I have some experience with the ordinance”</p><p>”Well, if you’re going I’m going too. Can’t let you have all the fun” Buck said, turning to his partner</p><p>”Are you sure it’s a good idea?”</p><p>”As Eddie said. He has some experience with the ordinance and I have a lot of experience with it. Between us we should get it out safe”</p><p>”Buck...”</p><p>”Anyway - you said you wanted us to get close. Now we might get real close. Come on Eds - let’s do this”</p><p> </p><p>“Right - I’m guessing that you’ll want me to remove it given I’m the EMT here”</p><p>”Yeah, then I’ll check it over and tell you whether to run or not”</p><p>“Doors closed?”</p><p>”Wont make much of a difference, but I suppose it’ll be less traumatic for everyone outside should something go wrong”</p><p>Then Buck and Eddie were standing there. Eddie carefully rotating the round out of the man’s thigh - Buck with his eyes glued to it looking for any signal that they needed to get out ASAP. </p><p>“Right, there’s it out Buckley. Give it a look over and get it into the case before we head out of here”</p><p>”I don’t like the look of it Eddie. Let’s get him out and go”</p><p>”Okay, you get the doors I’ll release the gurney” and with that they practically ran out of the vehicle. Just walking up to Bobby as it blew</p><p>”Close save” Buck muttered</p><p>”You’re telling me” Eddie confirmed</p><p>”Were you guys not worried about that?” Bobby asked, clearly still in shock</p><p>”I was never worried, this guy’s a pro” Buck said, clapping Eddie on the Back</p><p>”You’re pretty cool under pressure you know” Eddie complimented</p><p>”Well, I try to be”</p><p>”You can have my back any day” </p><p>“Or you know you could have mine?”</p><p>”Yeah. I think I could make that work. About what you said earlier today. Are you really into guys?”</p><p>”Uhh, yeah I’m Bi. Why?”</p><p>”Cause I think I’m Bucksexual”</p><p>”Huh?”</p><p>”Well, I had a bit of a crush on you when I joined the station despite not really being into guys” Eddie started and seeing the hungry look in Buck’s eyes he continued in this vein “and it made me really want to do this” he finished. Before claiming Buck’s lips in a searing kiss.</p><p>”I could get on board with this” Buck said though the kiss, only faintly recognising the wolf whistles and cheers coming from the background.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. And who are you?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>An old colleague of Buck’s turns up at the station one day out of the blue. How will the team take it when they find out the very dark past of one Evan Buckley.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Eddie, help Chim on the rigs please. I need them to be clean within the hour! Hen, ambulance needs restocked. Buck! Where’s Buck?!”</p><p>”Lunch run!” Eddie shouted back</p><p>”Oh right. McConnell - roll the hoses for me. Buck does them best but just keep them nice and tight like he does and you should be fine”</p><p>A visitor then walked into the 118 “Hi! This is the 118th station, isn’t it?”</p><p>”I’m sorry sir - normally we love having the public in, but we’re just back after a major fire and we’re off the clock for an hour to get all of the equipment sorted out. You could maybe come back another time” Chim said, politely but firmly.</p><p>”Its just I’m looking for Lieutenant Buckley”</p><p>”Sorry. There isn’t a lieutenant Buckley here. There’s Evan Buckley, but he’s just a firefighter” Bobby answered</p><p>”He’s out on the lunch run at the minute. But should be back soon if you want to wait” Eddie supplied.</p><p>”Sorry. It probably is firefighter Buckley - it was stupid to think he’d be a lieutenant here. It’s just he was my lieutenant in the Navy”</p><p>”Buck was in the Navy?” Hen shouted “Did any of you know this”</p><p>”Evan David Buckley, born in Hershey Pennsylvania to the two most evil people ever to exist, Senator David and Mrs Margaret Buckley”</p><p>”That’s him” Eddie said. He’d once had the displeasure of being on a phone call to the Buckleys after he and Buck had got together and honestly it baffled him how two such warm hearted and kind siblings had been created by those bastards.</p><p>”Yeah, why do you call him Buck. Does he not prefer one shot or something? That’s what we called him”</p><p>”Nope, he came here without a nickname and saying he’d bummed around South America for years before doing something meaningful with his life and we just shortened his name from Buckley to Buck” Hen said. Walking away from her task - eager to learn about her colleague.</p><p>”Huh, well tell him I dropped by - I’m in the area permanently now...”</p><p>”Wait! Bobby called - “can we pick your brains about Buck, he doesn’t really tell us much and we want to know” </p><p>“Ok, but nothing classified and nothing embarrassing. What do you want to know”</p><p>”Let’s start with the one shot thing - where did that come” Hen said, clearly leading the interrogation.</p><p>“He was a sniper and once managed to land a headshot on a target from 1,314m on a windy day. It was quite impressive - we all knew he was good, but never that good. You know that was a record for us as a unit”</p><p>”But you said he was in the Navy?”</p><p>”Navy SEALs - he was lead sniper in our team - Deltas tried to poach him several times, along with the CIA but he didn’t want to leave the Navy”</p><p>”So our Evan Buckley who claims to have never held a gun in his life was a trained sniper who had an actually flattering military nickname he was so good” Eddie said, shocked.</p><p>“Yep, by the way he’s head over heels for you - you and Christopher are practically all he talks about in our group chat. Just thought you should know”</p><p>”How do you know I’m Eddie?”</p><p>”He includes the odd picture. Great to meet you. Anyway, is there anything else?”</p><p>”Yeah, why didn’t he say something to us?” Eddie asked</p><p>“His last op was a shitshow. Half our team got killed, the two of us practically dragged the other half to safety and he went for a discharge shortly after getting the Navy Cross for his actions”</p><p>”He has a navy cross?” Eddie exclaimed, feeling betrayed.</p><p>”Yeah - but don’t beat yourself up about not knowing...”</p><p>”He could have told me. I’d have understood if he didn’t want to talk about it. I keep my medals hidden in a shoebox under my bed - I know what it feels like”</p><p>A glazed over look came across the mystery visitor’s eyes “Trust me, you don’t know what this was like - there’s bad and then there’s being compromised behind enemy lines without any hope of reinforcements bad”</p><p>”So that’s what he has nightmares about” Eddie said, realisation dawning on him.</p><p>”What”</p><p>”He sometimes wakes up in the night muttering ‘help isn’t coming. We need to go’ - I always thought it was about a call from before my time. But it sounds like it was from that”</p><p>”Yeah. He screamed that exact thing at me before we tried to escape the scene. Anyway I’ve taken enough of your time and you clearly need to talk to him - tell Buck that Sam Alderidge called by and give him my card”</p><p>Five minutes Buck walked in to see everyone staring at him - “What?”</p><p>”Hey one shot” Eddie said seductively and Buck just gulped, realising he had a lot of explaining to do.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. This is so not fair!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Buck and Eddie show off their skills on a 118 team bonding weekend.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was a long standing tradition for the 118 to do various team bonding exercises once a month - Bobby felt it helped them work better as a team in the field if they had similar experiences off it. These exercises always got a little competitive however, for example they had played football last month and Buck and Eddie had wiped the floor with everyone. Then they had done an assault course the month before and Buck and Eddie had wiped the floor with everyone. Then the month before that they had done a mountaineering course and Buck and Eddie had wiped the floor with everyone - you get the idea, Buck and Eddie consistently wiped the floor with everyone, so it was revenge time. Bobby that month had chosen to go to an air soft course and had tricked everyone into allowing Athena to come along - hoping she would wipe out the two boy’s win streak. What he was not counting on was Eddie being so experienced with a gun - it is a common mistake to think that medics aren’t weapons trained, but they are, and for Buck to be a retired Navy SEAL who didn’t tell any of his coworkers about his past.</p><p>The course was a simple room to room combat layout and Bobby thought it would be a perfect fit for Athena’s skills.</p><p>”Right, teams. I want Athena and Chim with me. Meanwhile Hen, Buck and Eddie can go together. Let’s show them a thing or two hey?”</p><p>”I can live with that” Eddie said, looking smug as he was confident in his own abilities with a gun. Not to mention he knew about Buck’s little secret”</p><p>”Yeah, now we need a team strategy meeting for a second” Buck said, signalling for Hen and Eddie to join him out of Bobby’s earshot</p><p>“So, what’s our plan?” Hen asked</p><p>”You’ll be at the back Hen cause you’re the least experienced - just make sure nobody creeps up behind us. Eddie if you and I work in doubles for room clearance, I’ll always work to the left if you enter to the right” Buck said “Now Hen, do you have any idea how to do this?”</p><p>”Nope, you done this before Buckaroo?”</p><p>”Before joining the 118 this was my life - I was a Navy SEAL. Bobby, Athena and Chim don’t know what’s about to hit them” Buck said smugly. Before taking Hen through the many ways to do room to room fighting</p><p>”Right Buck. I still can’t believe you were a SEAL, but this afternoon is about to get a bit more fun I think” Hen replied, just before the alarm sounded - signalling the start of the bout.</p><p>Buck and Eddie moved in tandem, checking and clearing room after room. Within seconds of starting they had already ‘killed’ Chimney and were quickly moving through the house. Hen felt a bit lost throughout the whole process as Buck and Eddie seemed to communicate through some mix of telepathy and hand signals, allowing them to be totally silent as they snuck into each room. Buck swaying lightly on his feet like a boxer every time he peered round a door to check for resistance - ready to duck back out of the way if he saw anyone. It was clear to Hen that he had done this many times before, when a lot more than his pride was at stake.<br/><br/></p><p>Next down was Bobby. And Hen was proud - she had landed the shot on him when he crept up on them from behind. Now the only player left was Athena, who they had sighted a few times but had never landed a hit on. Just as they were rounding a corner Hen felt two little pellets hit her back and shouted for Buck and Eddie to run. She stood there watching as the younger men charged on - it was really clear that they were both ex soldiers. All of the movements they were making seemed to be second nature to them. Moments later hen saw Athena run after them from behind her. </p><p>Within about a minute Hen heard three sharp cracks, followed by Buck and Eddie cheering, she joined in - knowing that her team had won.</p><p> </p><p>”I’m telling you Bobby. I have worked with police officers less experienced than Buck”</p><p>”It’s okay to lose occasionally Thena. Think about poor Chim he died within the first thirty seconds”</p><p>”Yeah, and it was humiliating” Chim agreed</p><p>”I don’t care what you think. Everything Buck did was from muscle memory - he’s done this a lot before. Look, there he is - I’m gonna ask him”</p><p>Buck was walking over to the losing team, Eddie and Hen in tow. All three of them were looking forward to rubbing in their victory when Athena spoke up. “Evan Buckley. Look me in the eye and tell me you were not in the army”</p><p>”I was not in the army” Buck said, trying to hide a smirk. Sure this wasn’t the way he planned on them finding out, but still it would be fun to see the reaction.</p><p>”Where did you learn to do <em>that </em>then?”</p><p>”Well, I was a Navy SEAL for six years and a member of naval force protection for two years before that”</p><p>“You’re a what!” Bobby shouted, amazed he had never been told.</p><p>”No way!” Chim replied “No way. Although it does make me feel a little better about my untimely demise”</p><p>”Your untimely demise was because you stood directly in front of the door. I shot you as soon as Eddie swung it open - in real combat you’d have been blown to bits by a grenade though. Probably would’ve landed just at where your feet were” Buck said with a smirk</p><p>”So you really were a SEAL. Athena said, feeling slightly better about her wounded pride”</p><p>”Team four. Based at Coronado. Did several tours of Afghanistan as well as the odd special operation”</p><p>“Shit Buckaroo - I say we have a rematch, the rest of us against you, see if that makes things fairer” Athena Suggested</p><p>”Me and Eddie against you lot. I couldn’t bear to shoot at my boyfriend”</p><p>”Your what!” Hen and Chim both shouted in unison.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. I’m trying to surprise my husband.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Eddie gets involved in an accident on his way home from deployment - what happens when the 118 turn up and rescue him, only to discover that he is on his way to surprise Buck.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“911, what’s your emergency?”</p><p>”I’ve been an idiot”</p><p>”Okay...”</p><p>”I’m just back from a couple of weeks in the UK and I was driving on the wrong side of the road. I’ve hit a truck and the guy inside it seems hurt”</p><p>“Okay, can you check on him?”</p><p>”No, the steering column of my car’s broken and is trapping me in - I’m not hurt, I just can’t get free of it. There’s a lot of blood in the other car though”</p><p>”Don’t worry, help is on the way” </p><p> </p><p>Five minutes later the 118’s truck pulled up, followed closely by the ambulance and a firefighter prised the doors of the other car. Just then a tall blonde firefighter walked up to the original caller’s car and started working on the steering column - eventually prising him free and handing him over to the paramedics.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Inside the worse affected car</b>
</p><p>Bobby walked up to the car, just making out a camouflaged uniform through the blood smeared windscreen.</p><p>”Right, Chim help me get this door off. Hen be ready to triage him as soon as possible”</p><p>Eddie sat up at the sound of crunching metal “Shit, now I’m not gonna get the security on the car back” he murmured to himself, before the door came free and a firefighter stood, trying to lift him out.</p><p>”I suppose you can think of better ways to spend your first few hours back home sir” one of the paramedics, Hen, said</p><p>”Yeah, I wanted to surprise my husband - he’s a firefighter too, I think he’s with the 811, 181? Uhhh, can’t remember anything - head hurts”</p><p>”Cap! I think he’s concussed - borderline delirious”</p><p>”118! that’s it - do you know him? I want to turn up at his station and surprise him - we haven’t told anyone about us, but I just miss him so bad”</p><p>”No sir, we’re the 118 - I think you’re getting confused. When you get to the hospital they can help you find your husband”</p><p>”Evan Buckley” he moaned before passing out</p><p>”Evan Buckley?” Hen said, shocked. “Buck!”</p><p>”Yeah” he said running over</p><p>”Do you have a husband you aren’t telling us about? Cause this guy seems to know quite a bit about you” she joked</p><p>”Shit! Eddie” Buck cried, full on sprinting to the other man’s side once he saw his husband’s face.</p><p>”Oh God Buck, is he actually...” Hen started, not bothering to finish talking when she saw the tears streaming down her coworker’s face</p><p>”Yes, two years last summer” He whimpered. Clutching the man’s hand</p><p>”Right Buck. Just know I’m gonna do everything I can for him - but I can’t do it with you clinging to him. Go and we’ll meet you at the hospital”</p><p>”Okay” he mumbled, pressing a kiss to his husband’s hand before walking back to Bobby, who immediately enveloped him in a hug</p><p>“You knew it was gonna come out at some point kid”</p><p>”I know, but we wanted to tell everyone once he got back. This is him for good now - he’s actually gonna sign up for the academy”</p><p>”Really?”</p><p>”Yeah, it’s why I did when I got out of the SEALs, otherwise I’d have joined coast guard search and rescue. But we wanted to be able to work our shifts around Christopher and thought that would be easier if we worked for the same service”</p><p>”He’ll be okay. Hen’s the best that there is. He’ll pull through”</p><p>”He’d better. 18 months away in Afghanistan only to get hurt as soon as his discharge comes through, what are the chances” Buck said, holding back tears.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>At the hospital</b>
</p><p>“Who is Mr Diaz’s next of kin?”</p><p>”That would be me” Buck said, nodding to the doctor who asked the question. “Is he okay?”</p><p>”Yes, you can see him soon. We’re just resetting his arm - he did have a ruptured femoral artery, but whatever paramedic treated him before arriving is good - MCAT good, so count yourself lucky”</p><p>Buck immediately went over to Hen and hugged her, thanking her for saving Eddie.</p><p>”Buck, it’s my job and anyway I was not missing out on getting to tease you about having a mystery husband. It’s up there in the top ten reasons of why I worked so hard to keep him alive until we got here”</p><p>“Really ruined the moment there Hen. But thank you anyway”</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Five minutes later</b>
</p><p>“So this is the mystery husband then”. Chick said, walking in - how long?</p><p>”Two years married, seven together”</p><p>”Wow, long dating period. Didn’t expect that from you Buckaroo”</p><p>”Well, we didn’t really spend that much time together the first few years, due to clashing deployments. Also Eddie didn’t get his divorce until two years before we married, so...”</p><p>“Oh yeah, I never thought about that” Hen said</p><p>”Well, then we also had to make sure we were built to last, so that Christopher wouldn’t have any more disruption”</p><p>”Yeah of course. He’s the most adorable kid by the way” Bobby said, sitting down next to Buck and Eddie</p><p>“Where is Chris?”</p><p>”Carla’s bringing him over. She’s a life saver - so unlike the aide we had back in Texas, seriously if I want already married to you...”</p><p>”Don’t you think about it. Otherwise I’ll tell them your Navy nickname and you’ll never live it down”</p><p>”You want them to know your army one?”</p><p>”Good point - mine’s worse” Eddie said, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to Buck’s lips.</p><p>”I am never letting you out of my sight again - you hear me. When you do the academy I am forcing Cap to hire you so I can keep an eye on you at all times”</p><p>”You think I’d be complaining about that Babe?”</p><p>”I missed you Eds”</p><p>”I missed you too Ev”</p><p>Hen could feel herself tearing up - she had seen many sides to Evan Buckley, but this side. This lovely, soft, kind side. She hadn’t seen it before, and it was wonderful to see it reflected right back at him by Eddie. It was at that moment that she understood why Buck was so firm in turning down the countless phone numbers he was offered on calls.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. After all this time, you waited. For me?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Chief petty officer Evan Buckley went missing in action on the 3rd September 2015, he left behind a fiancé and a step son. How will Eddie react when the 118 receives a surprise visitor one day?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Staff Sergeant Diaz. I am so sorry, we are doing everything we can to find your fiancé. But it is very likely that he was killed in action - if there are no sightings of him within the next six months we will begin to pay death benefits”</p>
<p>”No. No” Eddie just said, blinded by tears. <br/><br/>“Eddie, I can call you that. Right?” One of the officers, a chaplain by the looks of it, said. Eddie nodded, still crying “Eddie, Evan knew the risks going into this - he was proud to do his job. He would want you to remember that”</p>
<p>”This was his last tour - he was going to join the Austin Fire Department after it, we both were”</p>
<p>“Mr Diaz, I am very sorry. If there is any news from him we will tell you. Also, it isn’t uncommon in these situations for missing people to reach out to their families first if the option is available - please tell us immediately if he makes contact, we’ll want to get him out of there”</p>
<p>”Of course. Thank you”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>Four years later (2019):</b>
</p>
<p>“I thought you said blonds were your type Eddie?” Chim said. They were sitting in their usual Karaoke bar and Eddie had just had a phone number passed to him by a woman who had been there with friends</p>
<p>”A very specific blond is my type and I’m waiting for them” Eddie said, and it was true - he had vowed that he wasn’t going to date again until he had a body to bury, and he intended on keeping that vow.</p>
<p>”Ohhh Eddie’s got himself a girlfriend, come on Eds, tell us about her” Hen said in a teasing tone. Her face falling as the tears started to roll down Eddie’s cheeks “Eddie, is something wrong”</p>
<p>”I don’t have a girlfriend...” he started</p>
<p>“I’m sorry, that was a poor assumption to make...” Hen replied</p>
<p>”No, it’s not like that. My boyfriend, sorry fiancé - he was called Evan. He went MIA four years ago - nobody has heard from him since”</p>
<p>”What do you mean MIA, he left you?”</p>
<p>”No, he was a Navy SEAL - he went missing in action in Afghanistan on September 3rd 2015”</p>
<p>”Oh God Eddie. I never realised...” Hen began</p>
<p>“No, don’t worry. We lived together in Austin and he asked me to marry him just before he left on a six month tour - I said yes and we were going to have our big church wedding a few months after he got back. Or at least that was the plan, on the 4th September, a Navy Captain and a Chaplain turned up at my house - told me Evan was missing, presumed dead or captured. Then almost as soon as they left, the news trucks arrived - Christopher, who was two at the time was terrified, all of the shouting every time we left the house, the camera flashes. It just became too much so we left, came to visit my Abuela in LA and I saw that the LAFD had better salaries than the AFD, so I stayed. We’ve never been short on money, Evan’s death benefits started paying six months after he went missing - so we get a full pension plus my earnings. But it’s still a challenge being a single parent, so the higher salary really helped” Eddie didn’t know what was going on with him, but it was evident that his inebriated mind was willing to spill all of his deepest and darkest secrets, as he kept talking.</p>
<p>”Eddie, we had no idea”</p>
<p>”I don’t normally tell people, but you deserved to know. That’s why I don’t date though - I will not even consider moving in from him until I have a body to bury. It’s the least I owe him”</p>
<p>”That’s your choice Eddie...” Bobby started, clearly trying to give the ‘lowering expectations speech Eddie had heard so many times before</p>
<p>”It is my choice. What if he came back, huh? Found himself replaced in my heart by someone else - what sort of an effect would that have in a man. Fighting to return home to you family only to find your fiancé had started screwing someone else whilst the man he was going to marry was incarcerated in some hell hole” Eddie said, realising his voice was starting to rise from the startled looks Hen and Chim were giving him. “I love him an I will be here for him when he returns. Be it in a box or otherwise”</p>
<p>”Okay Eddie. I’m sorry if I offended you”</p>
<p>”It’s fine Bobby, I know it’s just because you care”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>3rd September 2020:</b>
</p>
<p>”Eddie, for the last time are you sure you don’t want today off?”</p>
<p>”If I take today off you’ll probably find me drunk out of my mind doing something I’ll later regret - there’s a reason why I wanted to pull a 24hr shift today”</p>
<p>”You don’t have problems with.... do you?”</p>
<p>”No, but I don’t trust myself to stop at one drink today, so I don’t want an excuse to start”</p>
<p>”Fair play Diaz, it’s good you recognise it”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The 118 had been on a strange rescue that day. A skydiver had managed to get trapped underneath his plane and needed rescuing from the top of the truck. When they eventually got the plane down, however, that was when Eddie’s day turned to shit.</p>
<p>”Come on, you need to get a boyfriend for yourself. You’re going to be left on the shelf love”</p>
<p>”Mom, I don’t want a boyfriend right now”</p>
<p>”Nonsense. Look at that hot firefighter there. He looks like your type - let’s ask him. Here’s how it’s done”</p>
<p>”Excuse me. You wouldn’t happen to be single right now would you?” She started, waking over to him</p>
<p>“No, I am fucking not” Eddie said, storming off.</p>
<p>Bobby, who heard the outburst came over and tried to smooth things over with the very angry mother “Ma’am, I’m sorry for what he said - today isn’t an easy day for him. It’s five years it the day since his fiancé went missing in Afghanistan”</p>
<p>”Missing?”</p>
<p>”MIA, suspected dead. But he’s never given up hope”</p>
<p>”Five years. My husband’s been dead three and I’m better than that”</p>
<p>”He doesn’t have a grave to visit, doesn’t have anything or anyone to blame. His fiancé just vanished into thin air apparently and hasn’t been seen since. Apparently they think he was taken prisoner by the Taliban”</p>
<p>”Still no way to talk to my daughter” The woman said indignantly</p>
<p>”Please don’t be harsh on him - he’s really been through the wringer with things the last few years”</p>
<p>”I couldn’t care less. I’ll be filing a complaint”</p>
<p>”You just do that. We’ll see how that goes” Bobby said. Turning away to check on Eddie.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>Back at the station </b>
</p>
<p>“Eddie, I know today is a hard day for you. But I can’t have a repeat of that incident”</p>
<p>”I know Cap, it won’t happen again”</p>
<p>”Okay, well then consider yourself formally punished for your actions. Go out and take it easy for a while, no one can deny you some time to think on a day like this”</p>
<p>”Thanks Bobby”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>1st November 2020</b>
</p>
<p>Evan slipped out of his cell. Creeping past the guards and out of the compound, then he ran - his beaten and bruised body was in no fit state to run, but he did so anyway. Visions of Eddie and Christopher ran though his head - his family, he was finally going to get home do his family. He didn’t know how long he had been held captive, but he knew that he had to get out. He scratched that the shaggy beard he had developed and felt the realisation dawning on him. He had been captive long enough to grow facial hair that could reach the middle of his torso - shit. Nothing was gonna be the same when he went back. Nothing.</p>
<p>It was then that he saw the lights. A convoy was moving through the area - and it clearly contained the US army. He ran and he ran and he ran until he caught up with them. He was going home, he was going home at last. “HELP ME! I’M AN AMERICAN!” he shouted, not caring when the convoy guards raised their weapons. “I’m Chief Petty Officer Evan Buckley of the US Navy SEALs!”. The first real sense he got of how long he had been away was when one of the guards lowered his weapon like he had seen a ghost.</p>
<p>”He couldn’t be alive. My dad was so caught up in that story, surely he isn’t. When would that have been?”</p>
<p>”2015”</p>
<p>”Shit, I was sixteen then”</p>
<p>”Get over here Buckley!” One of them shouted, before running to help him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Five hours later the convoy arrived on base and Buck was led to the commander’s office. Brigadier General Stratton. <br/><br/>“Are you actually Evan Buckley?”</p>
<p>”Yes sir”</p>
<p>”How the hell are you alive?”</p>
<p>”I don’t know - how long have I been away for?”</p>
<p>”Buckley. You have been in captivity for five years”</p>
<p>”No. no I can’t have been. Surely, no”</p>
<p>”Yes. I take it you weren’t kept in Geneva convention obeying accommodation?”</p>
<p>”Do I actually have to answer that”</p>
<p>”Yeah, I thought so. Is there anything you need?”</p>
<p>”Can I get a shower before we do a full debrief. I haven’t showered in five years and I could kinda like to get back into the habit”</p>
<p>”Of course”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>2nd November 2020</b>
</p>
<p>Eddie’s phone was buzzing on the table in front of him and he quickly picked it up. Expecting it to be a scam call as the number was one he didn’t recognise</p>
<p>”Mr Diaz?”</p>
<p>”Yes”</p>
<p>”I’m Colonel Matheson, we’ve found your fiancé”</p>
<p>”Oh God. When’s the repatriation flight. I’ll need to contact a funeral parlour...”</p>
<p>”No, you don’t understand. Mr Buckley escaped from Captivity last night - he’s currently being rushed to Walter Reid for his injuries, but he’s very much alive”</p>
<p>”He’s... alive?”</p>
<p>”Yes Mr Diaz”</p>
<p>”He’s alive! I knew it, I knew he would fight!”</p>
<p>”Well, I’m very happy for you sir. I’ll give you time to digest the news and we’ll contact you again when Mr Buckley is in country”</p>
<p>”Thank you”</p>
<p>”You’re welcome”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>”BOBBY!”</p>
<p>”Eddie, is everything okay?”</p>
<p>”They’ve found him!”</p>
<p>”Found who?... Wait, no they’ve found Evan?!”</p>
<p>”Yes, he escaped last night. He’s being flown to Walter Reid as we speak”</p>
<p>”Oh Eddie. I’m so happy for you”</p>
<p>”I know it’s probably not going to be plain sailing. But he’s home - he’s home at last”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>1 month later:</b>
</p>
<p>Buck and Eddie were lying in bed, trading lazy kisses when the subject of their marriage came up once more.</p>
<p>”Eddie. I know you dropped everything and ran when I was found, but I want you to know that if there was someone.... If there was someone, I don’t want you to have to choose between them and me, I’ll understand”</p>
<p>”Shut up. There never was anyone. When they told me that you were MIA I vowed not to see anyone until I had a body - I want you Evan, please never think otherwise”</p>
<p>”Well then, will you do me the honour of becoming my husband?”</p>
<p>”You’ve asked me that before”</p>
<p>”I know. But surely there’s an expiry date on that promise by now - I want to marry you. You and Chris, you kept me going - I stuck my imprisonment for you, because even on the darkest days - I had someone I loved to return to. I love you Eddie”</p>
<p>”Ev, I love you too. Now I want you to meet your new family today. Yore finally cleared to leave the house and I want to shamelessly parade my better half around my place of work”</p>
<p>”Okay. I’m sorry Eds, for everything that happened”</p>
<p>”You’ve got nothing to be sorry for Evan. Nothing at all” he said, nuzzling into the other man’s neck. For the first time in five years Eddie felt at peace. He no longer had to talk about the man he loved in the past tense, now he was his past present and future and Eddie was very much looking forward to what was in store.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Shame on you.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The 118 respond after violence breaks out during a protest staged at a military funeral, in the course of this Hen learns a thing or two about Buck and Eddie.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“All units, protest at the National cemetery - suspected to be non violent and homophobic in nature, we need a police presence there to keep it that way”</p><p>”707 L30 responding”</p><p>”707 L30 this is dispatch, you’re down as responding”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Athena drove up to the protestors and got out. Demanding to speak to the organiser. Hoping to talk some sense into them.</p><p>”Hello, are you in charge here?”</p><p>“Yes officer, come to arrest us?”</p><p>”You know I haven’t - but I would if I could. Maybe consider showing a little more respect”</p><p>”We’re not the ones being disrespectful. That cemetery there, it’s a sacred site - we don’t need to see that filth being paraded around”</p><p>”I see - yet you’re more than happy to allow him to go off and defend you?”</p><p>”Nobody asked his kind to join the military - they pushed and of course the fake news media backed it and here we are. It’s against the will of the people!”</p><p>”Sir, please keep your voice down”</p><p>”Why should I. It’s not as if he’s gonna hear me - down there in hell” the man said, standing up from where he was sitting.</p><p>”Sir...” Athena started, before the man clutched at his chest. It later turned out that he had got himself so worked up that he suffered a heart attack.</p><p>”Dispatch, this is 707 L30 - I need an RA unit to my location, probably a truck too - for crowd control”</p><p>”707 L30, help is on the way. What’s the emergency?”</p><p>”Suspected heart attack in a fifty year old, clinically overweight male”</p><p>”Ok, I’m passing that along to the responders now sergeant”</p><p>”I’m getting him upright, but there isn’t much else I can do until they get here. You might also want to tell them that he has mobility issues and was in a mobility scooter until he stood up, triggering the attack”</p><p>Just then the 118’s truck and ambulance pulled up and Buck, Eddie, Bobby Hen and Chim all jumped down - preparing to help the man.</p><p>”Here we go sir. Help is here”</p><p>”Oh God, not them - just those two” he said, motioning to Bobby and Buck</p><p>”Sir, you don’t get to choose your first responder. EMTs Han and Wilson are our team’s paramedics, not myself and Firefighter Buckley”</p><p>”But I don’t want to be touched by them” he moaned.</p><p>”Oh, you’re one of those ones” Buck just said under his breath</p><p>”What do you mean one of those ones?” The man replied, hearing the mumbled comment </p><p>”One of those ones who would rather die than be treated by an Asian, a Latino and a black woman. Sad”</p><p>“Of course. You looked like one of those modern liberals” another protestor spat</p><p>”Yeah. Is that a problem? Anyway, what do you need me to do cap?”</p><p>”Crowd control” Bobby grumbled, nodding to the group of about fifteen people “Diaz, you help him”</p><p>The two men walked over to the protestors, trying to give Hen and Chim space to work</p><p>”What are you guys even protesting?” Eddie asked, not having seen the signs being carried by those at the gathering</p><p>”Gays in the military”</p><p>”You wouldn’t... That had better not be a military funeral over there” Buck said, anger coursing through his veins</p><p>“It is. Not my problem he took a bullet for a country that doesn’t want him”</p><p>”Okay. I’m not gonna stand here and listen to that” Eddie said</p><p>”Yeah. Learn a bit of respect - cause this...” Buck said, waving his arms around “this is not on”</p><p>”It ruins morale”</p><p>”Didn’t ruin it when I served. How about you Buck?”</p><p>”Again, I think my unit did just fine - actually what ruins morale more is serving people who give everything to their country, with dishonourable discharges for who they love”</p><p>”Yeah. You see I thought that, but I just wanted to check” Eddie replied sarcastically</p><p>”Have any of you even served, or are you just protesting on things that don’t concern you cause you have the first amendment right to free speech, even if it’s misguided” Buck said</p><p>”A right he died protecting I hasten to add” Eddie finished</p><p>“It doesn’t matter, I have friends who were in the army - they’d back me up”</p><p>”Are they here?”</p><p>”No...”</p><p>”Then they aren’t backing you up, are they?”</p><p>”BUCKLEY! DIAZ! - can you come here a moment”</p><p>”Sure thing Cap!” Buck said, running over. “What is it?”</p><p>”See that one at the back of the protest - apparently he has a prior for gun violence, don’t rile him up. The police are here to take over from you anyway, why don’t you both pay your respects. I think the poor people over there might need reminded that those guys are a minority”</p><p>”Thanks Bobby” they replied, heading over to the graveside.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>”Oh, thank goodness. Are you cops?”</p><p>”Firefighters, one of the protestors had a heart attack. Got himself a bit riled up. LAPD are here too though”</p><p>”We’re still good to go on though?”</p><p>”Oh yeah, sorry I’m ex army and he’s ex navy. We just wanted to pay our respects”</p><p>”Thank you. It feels awful to have them chorusing their crap in the background” the woman, who they presumed was the soldier’s mother, said.</p><p>”Well, just as you know they do not represent a majority in the civilian world, they’re a minority in the armed forces too. Honestly, nobody really cares about whether you’re gay or straight anymore. Unfortunately those who do have a problem with it, tend to be vocal”</p><p>“Yeah, we’re seeing that today. It’s never really happened before, do you think that’s what Matthew would have had to go through every day?”</p><p>”Not everyday, but it happens often enough. It’s a sad reality and part of the reason we left El Paso”</p><p>”Oh, you’re both...?”</p><p>”Yeah, but the LAFD has a no physical affection policy for everyone whilst you’re on the clock and we can’t wear rings in case they get caught in machinery, so we know it’s not always clear”</p><p>”We met when he patched me up on deployment, and have been together ever since” Buck included</p><p>“My son met his partner overseas as well, he was one of the staff at the London embassy when he was posted there for a few months about five years ago”</p><p>“Marines?”</p><p>”Yeah”</p><p>”Fair play. We’ve both worked with the marines, they’re good guys” Buck said.</p><p>”Anyway, we’re very sorry for your loss. You should get back”</p><p>”Will you stick around after?”</p><p>”We’ll probably be gone as soon as mr free speech is ready for transport. Here, I’ll write down our phone number and you can call us if you ever need anything” Buck said after a minute’s thought.</p><p>”Thank you. You’ve made me feel a lot better about this whole mess already” she said, tearing up.</p><p>”Diaz, Buckley. Please offer condolences on behalf of the LAFD and LAPD, before returning to the truck, we’re good to head out” Bobby’s voice crackled over the radio </p><p>“Well, that’s our captain ma’am. We’re really sorry for your loss, but we’re afraid we have to go”</p><p>”Thank you. Are you sure you won’t mind if I ever want to call you?”</p><p>”Nope, we won’t mind at all” Eddie said, before walking back to the truck.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Back at the station:</b>
</p><p>“Buck, I’m probably wrong. But it looked like you gave that woman your phone number at the funeral today” Hen began</p><p>”Yeah, I did. What, did I do something wrong?”</p><p>”Buck, you can’t do that at a funeral”</p><p>”Do what?”</p><p>”Flirt!” She shouted, finally losing her cool</p><p>”No Hen! It wasn’t in that way - she was upset, but Eddie and I got her calmed down. I gave her <em>our </em>landline numbers in case she ever wanted to talk. We both know what her son went through with the army”</p><p>”Buck, you need to hear yourself. Seriously, get the balls to ask Eddie out”</p><p>”Uhh, Hen?”</p><p>”What. You’re joking right”</p><p>”Buck he is just as gone for you as you are for him. Drop the act”</p><p>“No, Hen. He’s my husband. I married him two years ago. I thought you knew - we freaking live together. His son calls me Papa. Did you seriously think we were oblivious for this many months?”</p><p>”What, but where did you meet then?”</p><p>”On deployment - he patched me up after a gunfight went wrong and when I eventually got discharged, I asked him out”</p><p>Hen was now opening and closing her mouth like a goldfish.</p><p>”Hen, we both wear rings. Did you seriously not see them?”</p><p>”I saw Eddie’s, I though it was his wedding ring to Shannon. What do you so with yours?”</p><p>”I wear it on a chain around my neck - always have done. When I’m working I take the chain off and put it in a box in my locker, you’ve talked to me as I’ve done it multiple times”</p><p>”CHIMNEY!”</p><p>”Yes Hen, is something wrong?”</p><p>”Tell me that what Buck is saying is some sort of joke and that I’m not as bad a friend as I sound”</p><p>”Buck, what are you saying” Chim said, anger seeping out of his tone.</p><p>“That Eddie and I are married?”</p><p>”What! Hen you didn’t know that Buck and Eddie were married?”</p><p>”Yes, don’t tell me you do?”</p><p>”Maddie showed me photos for starters and secondly they both wear identical rings!”</p><p>”Ughhhh, I feel like south an idiot now. So the random touches, the staring at each other - that’s just the way you two are?”</p><p>”EDS! come up here a second!”</p><p>”Sure Ev. Be right up!”</p><p>“Do I ever let anyone other than him call me Ev?”</p><p>“Good point”</p><p>”Eddie, Hen up until five minutes ago thought we were oblivious pining idiots and has got herself rather invested in getting us together”</p><p>”Well, couldn’t let all her hard work go to waste babe” Eddie whispered, kissing Buck on the lips.</p><p>”Just to clear up any confusion - he’s mine” Buck said afterwards with a wink.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Buck actually</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>When the 118 respond the the crazy woman on the highway overpass, and she threatens Buck with a gun, the youngest member of the team reacts differently. Opening speculation about his past.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Ma’am, come over to me. We’re gonna get you out. Okay?” Buck said, walking calmly towards the woman on the overpass.</p><p>”No! Step away from me!” She replied. When he didn’t turn around she repeated the statement before brandishing a gun.</p><p>”GUN!” all of the police officers shouted in unison. Alerting their colleagues of the new danger as they trained their weapon on her form.</p><p>Meanwhile Buck’s hand flew to his hip. Once it would’ve held a sidearm, in a holster ready for him to use at a second’s notice. Now it contained a spare carabiner and his utility knife. Two very useless weapons for a gunfight. “Ma’am, put the gun down” he said, raising his hands up in surrender.</p><p>”Back away!”</p><p>”Ma’am I can’t do that. Please put the gun down”</p><p>”Step awa....” she started. Her words changing to an enraged scream as Buck’s hand flew down to the gun, pointing it away from himself and turning the safety back on, before removing the weapon from her hand with an expert flick of his wrist. He then quickly released the magazine with one hand and threw it up, over the side of the overpass wall, into Eddie’s hands with the other.</p><p>”Ma’am, I’m gonna need you to out this harness on now. We don’t want anyone getting hurt”</p><p>”Don’t touch me!” <br/><br/>“I have absolutely no intention of it. But you need to put the harness on so you can be lowered to the ground. Okay?”</p><p>”No. step any closer and I’ll jump!”</p><p>”Ma’am. Just put the harness on for me”</p><p>”NO!”</p><p>”Fine, you leave me with no choice” Buck said, grabbing her under the arms and shouting to Eddie to lower them down</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Meanwhile, on the ground:</b>
</p><p>“What’s he doing!” Athena shouted, as she saw Buck reaching for his hip.</p><p>”I don’t know. But he doesn’t have a gun, so he’s gonna lose” Bobby replied worriedly. Letting out a relieved sigh when Buck raised his hands over his head.</p><p>Then they saw the firefighter surge forward, grabbing and disarming the gun with a practiced ease. “Where the fuck did he learn that. Even I can’t do that manoeuvre that well” one if the SWATs said.</p><p>“We’re coming down Cap!” Came the shout from above on the overpass and then Buck could be seen carrying the woman down to receive medical attention. Before being processed by the police.</p><p>”You okay Buckaroo? You look pretty rattled.” Athena asked him, concerned.</p><p>”Not really. But it doesn’t have anything to do with this and it’s nothing new, so I’ll be fine”</p><p>”Buck?”</p><p>”Seriously - just brought up some memories I thought I had buried. That’s all”</p><p>”Evan, if you want to talk...”</p><p>”It’s fine Athena. I’m not allowed to tell anyone anyway”</p><p>”Buckaroo, if you’re in any trouble...”</p><p>”No, it’s just... forget I said anything - I promise you that I’m not in any trouble” he said, before walking back to the truck.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>At the station:</b>
</p><p>“What was that with Buck today?” Hen asked, shocked at how good he was at disarming the woman.</p><p>”I don’t know - but Athena thinks he’s hiding something and it has be worried”</p><p>”He seems fine to me” Eddie butted in “probably just a little rattled - not a nice experience getting threatened with a gun, nor is it nice to get shot with one”</p><p>”No, Athena said he told me it brought up some old memories he’d rather keep hidden”</p><p>”He was in South America for a while, wasn’t he?” Chim asked</p><p>”Yeah, why?” Eddie replied</p><p>”Could he have been involved in drugs or something. Because I saw him reach for where a gun would normally be holstered on his hip - that’s not a normal reaction to being threatened”</p><p>”No, you know how vehemently against them he is. He’ll hardly even take Tylenol if he can avoid it”</p><p>”A dealer never partakes” </p><p>“No, I don’t believe that for one minute. Buck has a heart of gold - he wouldn’t destroy lives like that”</p><p>Bobby was about to tell everyone about Buck’s SEAL training when the alarm sounded and they were all sent off to a call. Eddie also decided he was going to pay his friend a visit and check that he really was okay.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Later that night:</b>
</p><p>“Hey Buck”</p><p>”Eds? I didn’t realise you were coming over tonight. You should’ve said - I’d have made more food”</p><p>”It’s fine. I’ve already eaten - I just wanted to check you were okay. Your first time threatened with a gun can be scary”</p><p>Buck replied with a sarcastic laugh before saying “I know - but that wasn’t my first time. Just brought back some memories of my life before the 118”</p><p>”What do you mean life before the 118?”</p><p>”You don’t seriously think I was unemployed for the first decade of my adult life do you?”</p><p>”No” Eddie could feel the team’s earlier comments eating him up and before he realised what he was doing, he was asking the question. “Buck, were you ever involved in anything illegal during your time in South America?”</p><p>”NO! Where did this come from”</p><p>”It’s just when you were threatened we saw your hand reaching to your hip where a gun would normally be holstered and we wondered if you were ever involved in drugs trafficking or people smuggling?”</p><p>”Eddie. No I was not and I am actually quite offended that you would think that”</p><p>“Then why did you reach for your hip?”</p><p>”I don’t know”</p><p>”How did you know how to disarm her so easily?!”</p><p>”I don’t know!”</p><p>”Where did you learn how to do all that stuff!”</p><p>”I didn’t”</p><p>”WHERE DID YOU LEARN TO DO THAT!”</p><p>”I DIDN’T!”</p><p>”WHERE!”</p><p>”THE SEALS! HAPPY?”</p><p>”Wait, what?”</p><p>”I was a member of the Naval Special Warfare Development Group for eight years before leaving for the LAFD. Happy? Now you know my deepest darkest secret!”</p><p>”You were in SEAL team six for eight years?”</p><p>”Yes - but it’s not something I’m proud of. You know there’s something up with your life when you can’t remember the faces of everyone you’ve killed”</p><p>”Buck...”</p><p>”Do you remember all of yours?”</p><p>”I only have a couple, so yeah...”</p><p>“Well, I did dozens of missions - and killed way more people than I wish to remember. Maybe I was a bit jittery today because I was reminded of that”</p><p>”Why didn’t you say something?”</p><p>”I’m embarrassed”</p><p>”Why did you leave?”</p><p>”I don’t want to say”</p><p>”Why?”</p><p>”Because you’ll never see me the same way again”</p><p>”Buck...”</p><p>”Trust me on this. I can never see me the same way again”</p><p>”Buck, it can’t be that bad”</p><p>”It is”</p><p>”Come on. You can tell me”</p><p>”Promise me that you’ll still let me see Christopher when I tell you. And that you’ll believe me when I say it was an accident”</p><p>”Okay...”</p><p>”I killed a kid”</p><p>The silence in the room was tangible. Buck was on the verge of bawling his eyes out and Eddie felt like he had been kicked in the chest. Buck normally didn’t mind silence - but this silence. The oppressive nature of this absence of noise. It was deafening.</p><p>”I killed a kid and a part of me died with them that day”</p><p>“Oh God Buck”</p><p>”That’s why I never tell anyone about my time in the SEALs. I always saw it as a way to make the world kids like him would grow up to inherit better. More peaceful, safer. Then I went and robbed him of that future”</p><p>”Buck, I’m sure it was an accident. Was your safety not on or something, did you miss his parent?”</p><p>”I deliberately pulled the trigger - I just didn’t know there was a kid on the other end”</p><p>”What do you mean?”</p><p>”I was at the front of a raiding party and I saw movement and fired. My life has never been the same since”</p><p>”Buck. It sounds very like an accident to me. Were you forced out of the service?”</p><p>”Nope, they held a brief investigation and it didn’t even go to Court Marshall. My partner at the time, she left me - said I was a monster, my parents refused to speak to me - citing my apparent emotional weakness for not getting over it fast enough, Maddie hadn’t spoken to me in years anyway and I guess I just flipped. I used to be really good at my job - I was a junior warrant officer and was very soon going to earn a commission as a lieutenant and I just couldn’t bear my life getting better just as I had snuffed out someone else’s I guess”</p><p>”So you left the job you loved?”</p><p>”Yeah, left and I haven’t been able to even look at my medals or my uniforms or even any photos since”</p><p>”And the events today brought those memories back again?”</p><p>”Yeah, it felt like my first mission had - I felt I had to protect my family and I did” the man said, openly crying now.</p><p>”Buck, come here” Eddie whispered, pulling his friend into a hug</p><p>”Do you remember your first kill Eddie?”</p><p>”Not really - I don’t even know who my first would have been. I remember the first time I fired my weapon in anger though”</p><p>”I remember my first - they died right in front of me, maybe four metres away. Not far, close enough to see the light fade out of their eyes as they fell. That’s why drives me every time I do dumb heroics in this job - it’s sort of my penance”</p><p>”Buck, what you did with the SEALs wasn’t murder. It was justice”</p><p>”Easy to say when you weren’t doing the shooting. Felt a lot more like murder for me”</p><p>”I’m gonna phone Bobby and say you were a bit rattled. See if I can’t get us both tomorrow off - we’ll do something nice with Chris and hopefully that’ll remind you of how good a person you really are”</p><p>”You’re not gonna leave me?” Buck said, sniffling</p><p>”No! Why would I do that?”</p><p>”Everyone always leaves when I tell them. Jane did at the time, Abby did, my parents did, I’m pretty sure Maddie would if she knew. Why aren’t you leaving?”</p><p>”Because I know you. And I know you would never do something like that on purpose, and I know that you don’t deserve to be punished for an honest mistake” Eddie said, before getting up to speak to Bobby.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>”Hey Bobby”</p><p>”Are you okay Eddie?”</p><p>”Yeah, I’m at Buck’s and he’s in a bit of a state - could we both get tomorrow off?”</p><p>”I don’t know if I can swing both of you...”</p><p>”Bobby, if he spends tomorrow alone I think he’s gonna do something he’ll regret. He is not in a good way”</p><p>”What do you mean? He did everything by the book today - he saved a life”</p><p>”As expected it wasn’t today’s events giving him the jitters - they brought back memories from a few years ago”</p><p>”The SEALs?”</p><p>”He told you?”</p><p>”Just said he’d trained with them, but I put two and two together and I think I can recognise PTSD when I see it”</p><p>”Yeah, it’s about the SEALs. But it’s his story to tell - just please get us both tomorrow off”</p><p>”Do I need to be worried Eddie?”</p><p>”No, I think he just needs to be reminded what it feels like to be loved unconditionally - it would appear that it’s not something he’s particularly used to”</p><p>”Okay, you’re making me worried. I’m gonna come over”</p><p>”No Bobby don’t - I’ve finally got him to open up. If you come over he’ll close right back down again”</p><p>”Eddie, you’re not a therapist”</p><p>”I am tonight. If I’m the only one he’ll talk to, then I’ll sit and listen”</p><p>”Do I need it get Frank?”</p><p>”I’ll see if I can convince him - but I don’t know.”</p><p>”Is it really that bad?”</p><p>”Bobby, he’s not in a good way over it. Trust me”</p><p>”Okay if there’s anything I can do...”</p><p>”I’ll call you. But give me tonight and tomorrow to talk to him. Also tell Chim that his theorising about Buck being some drug lord is not correct”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>”Hey, I’m back. Now you’re gonna stay with me tonight and we’re gonna go out to the zoo together tomorrow. Okay?”</p><p>”Okay” Buck replied weakly, pulling Eddie into another bone crushing hug “I love you Eddie”</p><p>”Oh?”</p><p>”Sorry, I shouldn’t have said it - forget...”</p><p>”I never knew you felt that way Buck. Never even knew you were into guys...”</p><p>”I’m not, but I love you. You’re good for me Eddie. When I see you in the station, even when I’m having a bad day, when you greet me with a smile and we sit and talk about anything and everything. Those moments get me through”</p><p>”Buck, I don’t know what to say” Eddie replied, moved to tears by the sweet comment “No one’s ever said something like that to me before”</p><p>”It’s okay if you don’t feel the same way. But I just, I just wanted you to know”</p><p>”I do feel the same way Buck. And you are good for everyone around you. To think you’d choose me as the one you love, I’m honoured mi guapo carino”</p><p>”Whoa, hold your horses. I’m not your boyfriend till after the first date” Buck said, trying to lighten the mood</p><p>”How did you...?”</p><p>”Oh sorry, goes with the territory of being a SEAL. I’m fluent in English, Spanish and Arabic as well as conversational in German, French, Russian and Dari, with some Polish and Farsi”</p><p>”Whoa”</p><p>”Yeah, well I picked some up relatively quickly and you can choose to take lessons in certain languages upon joining the SEALs. They all come in handy”</p><p>”I never knew that”</p><p>”Well, it isn’t something I have much use for now, but I still try to keep up my knowledge”</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>One week later:</b>
</p><p>Buck and Eddie walked into the station together - today was the day Buck had decided to tell his friends about his past. With one final hand squeeze before walking though the door, they separated and headed off to the locker room to change. As soon as they arrived in the loft, the pair sought out Hen, Chim and Bobby and Buck began to talk.</p><p>”You know how last week when you all thought I had the jitters from the woman threatening me?”</p><p>”Yeah?” Hen replied.</p><p>”Well I did. But it wasn’t because I was threatened. It brought back some memories”</p><p>”I was a SEAL for eight years and it reminded me of my time with the Navy. Which is something I would love to forget...”</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Waiting for you.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Buck was sitting in the back of the truck when his phone went off. Normally he wouldn’t answer, but seeing that it was Christopher’s school he knew he had to answer.</p><p>”Hello, is that Mr Buckley speaking?”</p><p>”Yes”</p><p>”Christopher had a fall today and needs to go home. It’s not too bad but the nurse said it was brought on by a dizzy spell so we just want to be careful”</p><p>”Okay. Well I’m currently on shift and actually in the truck on a call. So can you keep him a while longer?”</p><p>”I’m sorry Mr Buckley but I do need someone to pick Christopher up”</p><p>”Give me a second then” Buck said, before unmuting his headset and asking Bobby if the truck could take a detour. “Cap, I need to pick my son up from School. Is there any chance that we could take a detour?”</p><p>”Well, we’re on the clock Buck.... Is it far?”</p><p>”Nope, it’s on the way back to the station, just it’s a little out of our way”</p><p>”Okay - but this can’t be a regular thing”</p><p>”Thanks Cap” Buck said, giving him the address of the school before muting his headset and continuing his call.</p><p>”Could Mr Diaz collect him then?”</p><p>”Nope, he’s on deployment at the minute. But don’t worry - I’ve just checked with my captain, we’re going to swing by in the ladder truck for him”</p><p>”Okay - I’ll have Christopher and the nurse waiting. She’ll probably want to go over everything and I’d advise taking him to the doctor’s office to get him checked out”</p><p>”Well, as soon as I can get hold of Carla Price I’ll get him to the doctor’s. But in the meantime, he’ll be one shout away from two of LA’s finest paramedics at all times. We’re pulling up now” Buck said, as he jumped out and ran into the school grounds.</p><p> </p><p>”Hello Mr Buckley. If you’d just sign here, we’ll have Christopher out to you in no time at all” the receptionist said, gesturing to a clipboard sitting on his desk</p><p>”Brilliant”</p><p>”Hey Papa”</p><p>”Hi superman. Let’s see you” Buck said, looking at the raw skin through the hole in the knees of his son’s trousers as well as examining his hands”</p><p>”He should be fine Mr Buckley. Just put some antiseptic on it every couple of hours and make sure he has a warm bath or shower as soon as you get him home. I think I’ve got all of the gravel out, but if not his body will reject it in the next hour or two”</p><p>”Thanks” Buck said, before turning to Chris “okay superman. Guess what Papa’s going to be bringing you home in?”</p><p>”What?”</p><p>”I’ve brought the fire truck with me”</p><p>”No way! I thought you said you couldn’t pick me up from school in it?”</p><p>”Well, technically we are trained to respond to medical emergencies. And were in the area, so you superman are going to get to ride back to the station with us and we can wait there for Carla, how does that sound”</p><p>”Super!” Chris said enthusiastically, before letting Buck lead him out by the hand, mouthing ‘thank you’ to the receptionist and nurse as they left.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>”So Buckaroo. Who’s this?” Hen asked as they hopped into the truck</p><p>”This is my son Christopher” Buck said proudly.</p><p>”Well hello kid. What do you say you help me with a siren check when we get back to the station?” Chimney said, looking at the boy kindly.</p><p>”Never knew you were a father Buck” Hen asked, clearly probing for information.</p><p>”Yeah. I officially adopted Chris when I married his Dad two years ago and then my husband and I also have one other child together”</p><p>”Really?”</p><p>”Yeah, Chris and Connor. My two favourite boys”</p><p>”Same initials?”</p><p>”Only felt right given my husband’s called Eddie so we share initials”</p><p>”So are they Buckley’s or...”</p><p>”Well, my name is Buckley. But they’re all Diaz’s and eventually when Eddie gets back from tour we’re going to finalise the paperwork so that I’m a Diaz too”</p><p>”Do you think Daddy could collect me from school one day in his chinook?”</p><p>”No Chris - the day I see one of Daddy’s chinooks flying over your school is the day I will be very worried cause it’ll mean something very bad has happened to everyone”</p><p>”But Daddy doesn’t do bad things”</p><p>”No, but he helps people who get hurt by people who do bad things” Buck said “He’s a combat medic” Buck added for the benefit of his colleagues. This reply seemed to satisfy Chris and he looked around the truck for the remainder of the journey.</p><p>As soon as the truck pulled into the station Hen and Chim took Chris off to look around the other vehicles allowing Buck to phone Carla to pick him up. She arrived half an hour later to collect Chris, and after that the interrogation began.</p><p>“So how come we only learn that you’re gay and married six months into your time here Buck?” Hen asked</p><p>”Well, the latter is simple - I wanted to introduce you all to Eddie when he’d actually in the country and the former... I’m always careful - don’t like to pick fights when I can avoid them. But by the time I figured out that you’d all be cool with it it felt weird to say anything. Oh and also I’m Bi - although I am more into men”</p><p>”Well, I have one other demand - do you have photos of you as a family”</p><p>”Yeah - I’ve got one of Me, Eddie and Christopher that we took during our first Christmas as an official family” Buck said, showing the photo - it had been at a function in Eddie’s army base and both he and his husband were in tuxes</p><p>”Damn - that’s one hell of a gene pool” Hen said - “both Connor and Chris are gonna break hearts.”</p><p>”You think I’m actually gonna allow my babies to date?” Buck said, sparking laughter from his colleagues.</p><p>”I shouldn’t laugh, cause Karen and I are the exact same”</p><p>”I already know I’ll be the same - although I’ll have to get a partner first” Chim commented</p><p>”Anyway - how did you two meet?” Hen asked - getting interested in the crew’s youngest member’s story</p><p>”On deployment - I was a SEAL and he was with the Medical Corps”</p><p>”Oh, he saved your ass?”</p><p>”Other way round but same difference - he ended up patching me up afterwords. I never used it believe in love at first sight, but with him. I don’t know everything was so easy that it just felt right”</p><p>”I feel personally attacked by the fact that the youngest member of our team is settled down with a family and I still haven’t met anyone yet” Chim exclaimed</p><p>”Hey, there’s no timeline on it - and if you try to place one on it you’ll go for the wrong person”</p><p>”I know - but you must have both met in your twenties and I’m approaching the point where my age starts with a four”</p><p>”We were young and soldiers - fall hard and fast and all that other nonsense”</p><p>”You say that like it’s a bad thing” Chim included morosely</p><p>”It led to us breaking up so yeah it was a bad thing- but then if we hadn’t broken up Chris would’ve never happened so it had its silver lining, and when we got back together we were a bit wiser and took things a bit slower”</p><p>”Anyway, do you have any of Connor?”</p><p>”Sure do Hen. He looks more like his dad, but his mannerisms are more like mine. So he’s gonna grow up to be a little shit who can get away with whatever he wants” Buck said as he proudly handed over his phone, showing the photos.</p><p>”Awww. He is soooo cute”</p><p>”Much like his dad”</p><p>”Ughh Buck, way to ruin the moment” Hen laughed, thinking he was talking about himself.</p><p>”No Hen. I mean he looks like Eddie - Eddie is Daddy/Dad and I’m Papa/Pops”</p><p>“Ohhh, got you. I thought you were showing off just how much of a little shit your son is destined to be”</p><p>”Oh he is one hell of an opinionated child - I’ll tell you that much” Buck laughed</p><p>“You’ve got a lovely family Buck - I must say, I didn’t think you’d be so settled when I first saw you. I thought for sure I was gonna have to tell you off for having sex in one of the trucks or something”</p><p>”Pfft, no - but once Eddie comes back, you know after 12 whole months of no physical contact...”</p><p>”I will fire you Buckley. Have no doubt in your mind” Bobby joked, knowing it would never come to that. Especially not now that he knew Buck had a husband and kids depending on him.</p><p>”Suit yourself - just be prepared for plenty of sick days”</p><p>“Ughhh, now my mind is gonna go there every time you take the day off cause of the flu or something” Chim joked</p><p>“You know I’d never actually do that, don’t you?”</p><p>”We do Buck, don’t worry. Doesn’t mean we won’t tease you about it for the rest of eternity though” Bobby replied.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Six months Later:</b>
  <b></b>
</p><p>Hen was the first to see him, poking Chimney in the ribs as the man, who they knew to be Eddie, tentatively walked into the station.</p><p>”Hi! Eddie, right?” Hen shouted over</p><p>”Yeah, how did you know?”</p><p>”You’ve been pretty much all Buck has talked about since we met Christopher and Connor”</p><p>”Oh yeah, he told me about that. He promised not to tell you about them because I wanted to be there when you first met, but given the circumstances, I suppose it was inevitable. Where’s Evan?”</p><p>”He’s up in the kitchen - very much looking forward to you getting back <em>tomorrow”</em></p><p>“He’s always had a thing about surprise coming home videos, and I always wanted to give him one - seeing that this is my last tour...”</p><p>”Go get your man” Hen said, shooing him up the stairs.</p><p>Eddie walked up behind Buck and said “Hey, I was looking for this really hot firefighter - about six foot two, blond hair, blue eyes and a smile that just makes your day light up. You know him?”</p><p>”Oh I don’t know. But the whole smile but reminds me of a certain soldier who’s smile has the exact same properties. His name’s Eddie and he told me he was coming home <em>tomorrow”</em></p><p>“Well, I can go and...”</p><p>”If you finish that sentence you’ll regret it” Buck said, pulling him into a kiss.</p><p>”Whoa, easy tiger.” Eddie said when they finally broke</p><p>”That is me going easy - after 12 months apart, you know how charged up I am”</p><p>”True, but I’m not gonna complain. I love you Buck and I’m never leaving again”</p><p>”I love you more and you’d better believe you’re not leaving again” Buck said, kissing his husband again.</p><p>”DADDY!” Came Christopher’s shout through the room as he Carla and Connor all came into the station.</p><p>”MIJOS! I have missed you!”</p><p>
  <b>Another six months later:</b>
</p><p>“Oh, hi Eddie, what are you doing here this morning? Buck does know his shift doesn’t start for another six hours, right?”</p><p>”Yeah, he knows. But mine starts in fifteen minutes...”</p><p>”NO WAY! You got assigned here!” Hen shouted excitedly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. May?!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>May goes to a party in Buck’s building and gains some unwanted attention and eventually has to lock herself in a bathroom and call him for help. What happens when Navy SEAL Evan Buckley turns up at the door rather than the sweet firefighter they all know and love?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Hey girl, aren’t you a little young for a party like this?” The man, Tyler she thinks his name is, said. Creeping a hand up May’s thigh</p><p>”I’m over eighteen so no. But I’m not drinking so no problems there” She replied, extricating herself from the situation as fast as possible</p><p>”What, I’m not good enough for ya?”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>”Hey! Mitch, Miguel! This girl here thinks I’m not good enough...”</p><p>”Get the fuck away from me” May replied, having lost her friends in the thronging crowd at the party</p><p>”Or what?” One of the other men, Mitch, sneered</p><p>This time May didn’t stay to answer, instead fleeing to the toilet and locking the door as fast as she could. Hearing the men shouting threats at her as she went.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Meanwhile Buck’s apartment</b>
</p><p>“Mhmm, love you Eds” Buck moaned as the other man kissed his throat</p><p>”So good for me Buck. So good” Eddie replied, moving to pull at the waistband of Buck’s briefs with his teeth. Just then the younger man’s phone sounded.</p><p>”Fuck! Just when it was getting to the best bit!” Buck groaned, before sitting up and answering the phone</p><p>”BUCK!” She sobbed</p><p>”May, are you okay?”</p><p>”No, I’m at a party in one of the flats in your building and there are these three men and they won’t take no for an answer and one of them threatened me”</p><p>”Right, get somewhere where you can lock the door and do not open it until you hear from either me or Eddie. We’ll be round in a second, just need to put some pants and a shirt on”</p><p>”Oh, God. I’m sorry if I’m interrupting...”</p><p>”Don’t you dare finish that sentence May Grant. We’ll be there in two seconds, honestly. Eddie’s just phoning the cops but we’ll be faster. Stay on the line to me so that I know you’re okay”</p><p>”Are you mad Buck, they could have knives or something. Wait for the police!” Eddie demanded</p><p>”Well, where I come from they say always bring a gun to a knife fight...”</p><p>”That’s not the saying...”</p><p>”It is in the SEALs” Buck replied, opening the safe in his wardrobe and taking out a pistol in a holster and a spare clip of ammunition. He swiftly clipped it to his belt and threw on a jacket to conceal it before calling to Eddie and leaving.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“May, we’re here. Where are you, the layout isn’t the same as my place”</p><p>”Upstairs and to the left”</p><p>”Okay. I’m going to hang up now but do not open the door until one of us calls you back, okay?”</p><p>”Okay Buck”</p><p>”MOVE! GET OUT OF THE WAY! COME ON, LET US THROUGH!”</p><p>”Who are you two?” One of the three men directly outside the bathroom door sneered</p><p>“Friends of hers, so get the fuck out of our...” *CRUNCH* Buck had instantly seen the man’s hand rising to punch him and ducked, before delivering a brutal uppercut to his jaw. Immediately putting one of the three out of action for the foreseeable. “Now, get out of my way” he growled. Eddie trying and succeeding to look equally menacing behind him.</p><p>Rather than get out of Buck’s way however, the men chose to attack. One lunging at Eddie and the other drawing a knife and advancing on Buck. <em>So Eddie was right </em>the younger man thought, before demanding he drop the weapon.</p><p>”Or what fag?”</p><p>*Click* Buck took the pistol out of its holster and turned the safety off “You really want to find out? Drop. It. Now” seconds later the weapon dropped to the ground and Eddie, his attacker admitting defeat after three painful right hooks, grabbed it off the floor. Buck then replaced his gun in its holster and called May.</p><p>”It’s okay to come out now sis. They’re not going to do anything and I think they’re going to apologise, <em>AREN’T THEY” </em>Buck drawled the final line, indicating that it wasn’t an expectation but an order.</p><p>Just as she was getting out of the bathroom Athena and four of her colleagues ran in, guns drawn “LAPD! HANDS WHERE WE CAN SEE THEM!”</p><p>Buck and Eddie raised their hands before and Buck declared that he was carrying a gun before Athena spoke up.</p><p>”Don’t worry officer, they’re friends of ours. I guess May called you two first?”</p><p>”Yeah - our three friends are all guilty of attempted sexual and physical assault. Also mr charming over here had a knife on him too” Buck said, pointing to the three assailants on the ground.</p><p>”Get them out of my sight!” Athena spat, “Boys, I can’t thank you enough, honestly I can’t. But I need statements from both of you and I’ll need to see your gun licence Buck”</p><p>”Sure thing” He said, producing the card from behind his driver’s licence and handing it over.</p><p>”Shit Buckaroo. You do realise you’re licenced for some serious hardware?”</p><p>”Yeah I know. I just kept it all up to date after getting my discharge. I’ve always considered doing security work if the LAFD didn’t work out”</p><p>”What do you mean your discharge?”</p><p>”From the Navy. Bobby didn’t tell you that I was a SEAL?”</p><p>”No he didn’t. But I’m sure as hell glad you were” Athena replied before taking their statements and sending the boys on their way.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>1 week later:</b>
</p><p>“I felt so bad for calling them” May was laughing</p><p>“What? Don’t talk like that...” Bobby replied, wondering why his step daughter was giggling so much.</p><p>”No, I mean they were kinda in the middle of something”</p><p>”Yeah, but I’m sure they were more than happy to drop whatever they were doing...”</p><p>”No. You don’t understand. They were in bed”</p><p>”So you woke them up?”</p><p>”They were in bed sans shirts and pants and with mussed up hair Bobby”</p><p>”So maybe it was warm?”</p><p>”Buck’s apartment only has one bedroom!”</p><p>”Oh”</p><p>”Mom, come here and tell me that you could see the way Eddie was undressing Buck with his eyes once everyone was done”</p><p>”Huh?”</p><p>“Last week. You know when Buck and Eddie went all badass and saved me. Tell me your policing skills led you to the same conclusion as me”</p><p>”Which was?” Athena replied confused</p><p>”Oh my God! They are so obviously dating, or fucking or something!”</p><p>”Language May” Athena replied on autopilot before saying “Everyone thinks they’re dating but we all know they’re not”</p><p>”They were in bed together, undressed and Buck was panting when he lifted the phone. Need any further evidence?”</p><p>”Oh” Athena replied, mirroring her husband, as the realisation sank in</p><p>”You might just have a point May” Bobby replied, “I’ll have to speak with them on Monday.”</p><p>”I’ll have to tell Hen” Athena said giddily</p><p> </p><p>“Henrietta”</p><p>”Hey Thena”</p><p>”Our two favourite pining idiots are together at last”</p><p>“No way! Did they tell you?”</p><p>”No, but May told me that she could hear Eddie in the background of Buck’s phone conversation and that Buck was in bed and that he was panting <em>aaand </em>that Buck said he needed to put a shirt and pants on before coming round”</p><p>”Oh my goodness. Honestly that is such a <em>them </em>way for everyone to find out”</p><p>”Right. Outed whilst trying to help their boss’s step-daughter. It’s perfect”</p><p>”Bobby isn’t annoyed is he?”</p><p>”No, he’s fine with it. Honestly he’s more annoyed that they didn’t wait for the police, but would you have?”</p><p>”I doubt it. Anyway, from what I’ve heard Eddie can handle himself and Buck’s bulk looks menacing”</p><p>”His gun was apparently pretty menacing too”</p><p>”Wait, what?”</p><p>”Apparently your Buckaroo was a Navy SEAL who kept on his gun licence cause he’s considering doing security consultancy work one day”</p><p>”No way”</p><p>”Yeah. He broke one guy’s jaw with one punch as well apparently. I don’t think he’s one to mess with, even if the puppy dog exterior makes him seem vulnerable”</p><p>”Ouch” Hen whispered, I can’t wait for Monday to use all of my newfound knowledge.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>That Monday:</b>
</p><p>“Hey Buck, Eddie. Have a nice weekend?” Hen wiggled her eyebrows suggestively</p><p>”What?”</p><p>“You know... I heard Buck’s a bit of a biter, why don’t you pull the collar of your fleece down a bit Eddie?”</p><p>”Hen, what the fuck...”</p><p>”Buck, Eddie. My office please” Bobby demanded as soon as he saw them</p><p>The two men walked in to see the relationship with a coworker forms sitting on the desk and glanced at the captain in surprise. “How?”</p><p>”May figured it out” Bobby chuckled, “trust me it took me a while to see it but now I feel really dumb”</p><p>”How the heck did she figure it out”</p><p>”It involved you undressing Buck with your eyes - her words, you both being in bed in a state of undress together and Buck’s heavy panting when he answered the phone”</p><p>”Shit. Of all the ways...”</p><p>”Well, I’m not annoyed and thank you again for saving my step daughter, but there is paperwork that needs to be filled in now that I’m aware of the relationship”</p><p>”BUCK! EDDIE! You have a visitor!” Hen shouted into the office just as all the signing was complete</p><p>“Be right out” they said in unison before thanking Bobby and walking out</p><p>”HOW COME I ONLY LEARN THAT MY BROTHER HAS GOT HIMSELF A BOYFRIEND WHEN I WALK INTO WORK AND JOSH RUSSO ASKS ME HOW YOU TWO ARE BEOFRE DOING HIS SUGGESTIVE EYBROW THING!”</p><p>”Oh shit”</p><p>”Well, we haven’t agreed to in sickness and in health yet Buck, so I’m gonna go do anything other than get berated by Maddie, okay?”</p><p>”Ughh”</p><p>”Wait Mr Diaz! I’ve got your very own angry sister too” Maddie said, handing him her phone through which he immediately heard very fast and angry Spanish.</p><p>”Oh Shit. Mine’s angrier” said after a second</p><p>”What was it you said about sickness and health?” </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Thanks to you my brother is dead! Pt 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>When the 118’s hazing continues for over a year, Buck makes an impulse decision and resigned from the LAFD, rekindling his career with the Navy. A few years later Warrant officer first class Evan Buckley is thought to have been killed in action and the news is passed on to a distraught Maddie. How will she and the 118 react when they discover that their youngest member’s death was a clerical mistake and that he is instead fighting for his life in Landstuhl hospital in Germany? Will friendships be reforged, or will the 118 still fail to move on?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Buck could feel the adrenaline coursing through his body as he ran. Ran for himself and ran for his team, he wasn’t going to die in Afghanistan. No, he was going to return to the United States alive and in one piece he thought, as he tackled the bomber to the ground, pulling the detonator from their grip. His team flooded towards him instantly, but he heard a loud bang and felt a searing hot pain rip through his chest before they could arrive. One hour later, Warrant Officer Fist Class Buckley was lying on a gurney being evacuated to the nearby camp bastion for urgent surgery, before he would be taken by military transport to Germany for further care.</p><p>
  <b>Meanwhile in LA:</b>
</p><p>Maddie went about her morning as usual: showering, eating breakfast, scrolling through social media and then getting into her car to go to work. Just as she was closing her front door however, her phone rang.</p><p>She immediately picked up “Hello, Maddie Buckley speaking?”</p><p>”Hello Miss Buckley. I’m Lieutenant Commander Douglas Keller from the HR department of the bureau for the Navy, you’re listed as the primary contact for Warrant Officer First Class Evan Buckley - is that correct?”</p><p>”Yes”</p><p>”Miss Buckley, I’m very sorry to inform you that your brother was killed in action during a raid last night. Not much is known about the event, however, it is apparent that he lay down his life in a successful attempt to subdue a suicide bomber and prevent him detonating his device in the vicinity of Warrant Officer Buckley’s team as well as multiple civilians”</p><p>”How did he die? Was he blown up or...” Maddie trailed off</p><p>”It says here that he suffered a gunshot wound to his chest ma’am. I’m very sorry”</p><p>”Oh God” she whispered the tears finally blinding her</p><p>”Ma’am, if it offers any solace to you, we will probably be in touch soon to discuss the possibility of a posthumous gallantry award, it says here that he is being considered for the Navy Cross although the end award could change by the time it has made its way through the various committees involved. I know it’s not a replacement for your brother, but at least it is recognition of his heroism”</p><p>”Thank you” She mumbled</p><p>“Anyway Miss Buckley, I would say that in due course you will receive a call from our team at Arlington to arrange it internment and the president is due to call this afternoon. Again ma’am I’m very sorry for your loss”</p><p>”Thank you Commander, goodbye” Maddie cried, before instantly picking up her phone once more</p><p>”Hey Josh”</p><p>”Maddie, you sound like you’re crying. Is everything okay?”</p><p>”No Josh” She sobbed “Buck was killed in action last night”</p><p>”Oh my God Maddie. That’s awful... I hope you’re phoning me to tell us that you won’t be coming into work now”</p><p>”Yeah, that’s part of it, but I also need to talk to someone”</p><p>”Well I’m happy to listen Maddie. Do you need us to do anything? If there’s any legal trouble I could give my dad a call - he’d straighten it all out for you”</p><p>”No, Buck was meticulous with his will, everything is accounted for - I’m just starting to prepare arrangements for the funeral”</p><p>”Have you though about where?”</p><p>”Yeah, he wanted to be buried at Arlington should he be killed in action... so although it’s a bit of a distance, if that’s his wish I’ll make it happen”</p><p>”Okay Maddie. Well as soon as my shift is over I’ll be round, okay? But in the meantime just take some time to process everything and remember that if I know Buck he won’t have gone out with a single regret”</p><p>”Yeah” Maddie snivelled “Thank you Josh, I think I needed to hear that”</p><p>”No problem Maddie, see you later”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <b>Four hours later:</b>
</p><p>Maddie was sitting on her couch, looking at the TV blankly as she contemplated everything her little brother had accomplished in his life, against all the odds he had grown into a wonderful, compassionate man and regardless of how many times he was stabbed in the back by so called friends, he just dusted himself off and went on. Her brother was a survivor and she couldn’t believe what had happened to him. Then a though dawned on her: <em>he’d be alive if the 118 had accepted him, he’d be just going about his day - saving people in LA rather than fighting a war in the Middle East. </em>This is why Maddie made a spur of the moment decision and grabbed her car keys and phone before driving down to meet with his old crew.</p><p>She walked into the bay and could see Lena and Eddie joking around in the gym as well as Hen and Chim restocking the ambulance and judging from the smell Bobby was cooking up a storm in the kitchen. “Hi, where’s Bobby?”</p><p>”Ohhh, Uhmmm Maddie.” Hen began </p><p>“Hen I am not in a mood for games today. I have to speak to all of you and it’s about something you need to hear”</p><p>”He’s up in the kitchen”</p><p>”Thanks. You an Chimney might want to join us” Maddie said in a dangerously quiet tone, before shouting over to the gym area “Diaz! You should probably join us too - this also concerns you!”</p><p> </p><p>”What is it Maddie. Is it about Buck?” Bobby started, as Maddie took what had once been her brother’s seat at the table</p><p>”Yes it is” She said, trying to force herself not to cry</p><p>”You see if he’s bringing another law...” Eddie began</p><p>”Stop!” Maddie shouted, surprising herself at the volume of her voice “please don’t interrupt me until I’m finished. Okay?”</p><p>”Okay?...”</p><p>”Right, so you know when you all forced Buck out of the department? Well about a week later he decided he had to start job searching - he didn’t have massive savings, between supporting me when I left Doug and some other commitments that left him with very little excess pay at the end of every month”</p><p>”Other commitments?” Bobby scoffed “What other commitments?”</p><p>”Christopher” Eddie replied, shocked</p><p>“Wait, what?” This time Maddie replied “He never actually said anything”</p><p>”He paid for 3/4 of Carla’s salary. I didn’t know until she told me one day after he left - he still keeps it up too”</p><p>”Not anymore” Maddie mumbled as she felt a tear rolling down her cheek</p><p>”What do you mean?!” Eddie replied angrily “he wouldn’t...”</p><p>”I’m getting to it. Just don’t say something you’re gonna regret”</p><p>”Anyway, he was <em>this </em>close to loosing the lease of his apartment so he decided there was only one thing he could do. He went down to the recruiting office and re-enlisted with the SEALs, and gained re-entry as a petty officer. He led a good career with them up until now - he’d reached the rank of Warrant Officer First Class and was due to commission as a lieutenant next summer”</p><p>”Why are you using the past tense Mads?” Chimney asked, confused</p><p>”Oh God” Hen said, as the realisation dawned on her</p><p>”Evan died last night. There was apparently a suicide bomber and he tackled them to the ground and although he disarmed the bomb, they shot him in the chest at point blank range. I’m waiting on a call from the team at Arlington to arrange the funeral”</p><p>Eddie had paled and looked like he had seen a ghost, meanwhile Hen and a him were crying and Bobby looked like he didn’t know what to do with himself.</p><p>”I wanted to tell you, because I thought you may be interested in coming to the funeral. Currently we’re going to be waiting a few weeks so the other wounded member of his team can be patched up - two of them took bullets and the other one’s in a bit of a bad way. But they all want to be there to lay their respects. Anyway, I know you’re on the clock. But I thought you deserved to know”.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><b>Later that day at the hospital in Germany:</b> <b></b></p><p>“Hello Petty officer Wilkinson. You back with us?”</p><p>”M’not Wilkinson, m’Buckley” He groaned.</p><p>”Wait, what. Where exactly were you when everything kicked off?”</p><p>”All remember... tackled the target down n’ then it all went black”</p><p>”You tackled the bomber down?”</p><p>”Yeah”</p><p>”DOCTOR!”</p><p>”Whats wrong!?”</p><p>”I think we’ve got a case of mistaken identity. Apparently he is Warrant officer Buckley - you know the one who we thought had been killed?”</p><p>”You have your tags kid?”</p><p>“Here they are” another nurse provided</p><p>”No, these say Wilkinson. Are you sure you’re not Wilkinson sir?”</p><p>”M’Buckley - sister... Maddie, grew up... Pennsylvania, used work for LAFD”</p><p>”SHIT!”</p><p>”What?”</p><p>”The tags must’ve been taken off in the helicopter and got switched!”</p><p>”I’m gonna go notify HR now”</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>ten minutes later - LA:</b>
</p><p>Maddie’s phone started ringing again, just as she was starting her first glass of wine with Josh “Hello, Maddie Buckley”</p><p>”Hello Miss Buckley. I’m Colonel Matthew Sanchez of the Landstuhl military hospital in Germany. I wanted to inform you of a clerical error that was made earlier today. Your brother was registered KIA, however, we later discovered that a mistake was made by one of the combat medics and that WO Buckley’s dog tags got switched with another man’s”</p><p>”So he’s fine?”</p><p>”Well no, not fine exactly. He was still shot in the chest at point blank range ma’am, but he’s alive and awake in the hospital. I’m standing next to him with the phone now so he can speak to you”</p><p>”Hey Mads” a familiar voice croaked over the line. Her brother was clearly in agony, but he was alive and that was all that mattered.</p><p>”Evan! I was so worried. I thought I’d lost you”</p><p>”M’sorry Mads. I didn’t know...”</p><p>”Don’t worry little bro, it’s all good - I’m just glad to hear your voice. This morning when I got the call... all I could think was that I’d never hear your voice again”</p><p>”I’m fine Mads. Promise”</p><p>”Only you could manage to get shot in the chest and say you’re fine” Maddie said in her big sister voice</p><p>”Ow. Don’t make me laugh Mads - it hurts”</p><p>”Sorry Evan”</p><p>”It’s okay. If it hurts at least I know I’m still alive”</p><p>”When can I see you?”</p><p>”Doc, when can she see me?”</p><p>”Miss Buckley. You can see your brother when he gets transferred back to the states. In the meantime he need rest...”</p><p>”Okay, Evan I love you and I’m so happy your still alive”</p><p>”Love you too Mads. And I’m pretty chuffed with the whole not dying thing too”</p><p>”If you weren’t injured and in another continent I’d slap you for that. Love you little bro. Bye”</p><p> </p><p>”What was that?”</p><p>”They made a mistake. Somebody switched up his dog tags with the person who actually died”</p><p>”Oh Maddie. Come here”</p><p>”Wait - I need to phone Athena!”</p><p>”Why?”</p><p>”The 118 all think Buck’s dead”</p><p>”Maddie, I think he’s been dead to them a long time”</p><p>”You know he’s still paying 3/4 of Carla’s wage. Even after all this time...”</p><p>”Seriously? He’s doing all that and not one of them called to say thank you?”</p><p>”Yeah, but they still don’t deserve to think he’s dead when he’s not”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>”Hello, Athena?”</p><p>”Maddie. Bobby told...”</p><p>”Wait. That’s why I’m phoning you, there’s been a mistake made...”</p><p>”BOBBY! Maddie’s just called, apparently there’s been a mistake made about Buck”</p><p>”His and another person’s tags were switched”</p><p>”So he’s absolutely fine?”</p><p>”Not exactly. He was still the one who tackled the bomber and took a bullet to his chest - but he’s in intensive care at the military hospital in Germany, not dead”</p><p>”He’s alive... can we see him?”</p><p>”No, they won’t let us see him until he’s back home. But knowing he’s alive is enough for now”</p><p>”Maddie, it’s Bobby. Can you send him a message?”</p><p>”Not really. He’s in the ICU, but I did get to speak to him earlier today although it was only for a minute or two”</p><p>”Well, if you speak again. Tell him I’m sorry, for everything”</p><p>”I will Bobby”</p><p>”You never really realise what you had until you lose it”</p><p>”Anyway, you’d best phone the rest of the team. I’d say they’re all in a bit of a state”</p><p>”Yeah, bye Maddie”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>”Eddie, it’s Bobby. Buck’s alive”</p><p>”But Maddie said...”</p><p>”His and another man’s tags got mixed up when the medics had to remove them for treatment. Buck’s currently in Germany”</p><p>”Thank God. I didn’t want to have that conversation with Christopher”</p><p>”Yeah, I know”</p><p>”And it’s not as if I couldn’t tell him. He still asks for Buck you know.”</p><p>”Really?”</p><p>”Yeah, when he gets back I think I have some apologising to do”</p><p>”Well, makes two of us. But for the time being I’m just glad he’s getting back”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>”Hen”</p><p>”Hey Thena” came the morose reply</p><p>”Hen, Buck’s alive”</p><p>”How? Maddie said he was dead?”</p><p>”His tags got mixed up with someone else’s”</p><p>”So he’s fine?”</p><p>”No, he’s in intensive care in Germany. He did everything Maddie told us about, he just didn’t die doing it”</p><p>”So he suffered a GSW to the chest and is alive?”</p><p>”Apparently”</p><p>”Oh thank God. I’m going to have to see him when he gets back - we were awful to him”</p><p>”Well, you were. Still, at least he’s gonna be back”</p><p>”Yeah...”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Four weeks later</b>
</p><p>“Are you sure this is a good idea Buck?” Maddie was shouting into his bedroom as he tried to pull on his dress uniform, wincing in pain with every movement.</p><p>”Yes. I think I’m gonna feel this for a while, but I have to go”</p><p>”At least let me come in there and help you”</p><p>”No Maddie, don’t want you seeing the scar”</p><p>”Buck, I was a nurse...”</p><p>”NO!”</p><p>”Okay, can I call Josh or someone to help?”</p><p>”No, I’m doing this by myself or I’m not doing it at all”</p><p>“Fine, but at least let me help with your tie and your jacket”</p><p>”Ok” Buck replied, finally admitting defeat.</p><p> </p><p>A few hours later they pulled up at the National Cemetery</p><p>”Buck! I haven’t seen you since...”</p><p>”Are you okay sir?”</p><p>”Come ere”</p><p>”We’re glad you’re still with us Evan”</p><p>”Are you sure this is a good idea...?” “Nope, but I’m doing it anyway. Colin would’ve been here for me”</p><p>”Glad you made it through Buckley”</p><p>Maddie could hear his team as he met up with them and it was then that the small part of her mind that ha thought he would return to the LAFD realised. Buck had found himself a family, he didn’t need the 118 and honestly, it looked like he no longer wanted them.</p><p> </p><p>By the end of the funeral, Maddie’s face was full of worry. She hadn’t realised that it was tradition for the remaining members of the team to punt their Navy SEAL pins into the coffin lid, but by the time she realised it was to late. Buck was up at the front, bringing his fist down on the insignia - his face contorted into a picture of agony from the exertion, but nonetheless showing his brother the respect he felt he deserved...</p><p>TBC</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Thanks to you my brother is dead pt2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The second instalment of ‘thanks to you my brother is dead’. Buck makes a reappearance at the 118, tears are shed, friendships rekindled and a very important question posed - what is Buck going to do next?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“So who is this guy?” Lena Bosko was asking as the station all crowded round the tv </p><p>“This is your predecessor - you know the one who got crushed under the truck?”</p><p>”That’s what I thought. But surely if he wasn’t fit for a return to the 118 he wouldn’t have been accepted into the SEALs?”</p><p>”He wasn’t the one who wasn’t ready for his return” Bobby replied, sadly</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>”I stopped him coming back - said I didn’t think he was ready. The truth is that I saw him like a son and I knew that I couldn’t bear to send him running into a burning building knowing that there was always the potential he’d never come back out. Then he filed the lawsuit and I felt so betrayed that when he won, cause he was in the right, I told everyone to be horrible to him and I barred him from going onto the truck for about a year until one day I walked in and saw a white envelope sitting on my desk. In it was his resignation. Then after he resigned, he no longer had an income but still had the expenses of his apartment and various other things...”</p><p>”Other things?”</p><p>”My kid’s carer” Eddie said, steeling himself for what Bosko would think of him “He pays three quarters of Carla’s salary every month. He never even told me”</p><p>”Anyway, because of all that he decided to reenlist with the SEALs and that’s where he works now. No one other than Chim has even seen him since and even then it was only cause he was seeing his sister, who’s Chim’s girlfriend”</p><p>”Shit. You all fucked up. I hope you guys know that”</p><p>”We know” Hen replied, sadly. “Unfortunately he doesn’t know that we know”</p><p>”Would Maddie not...”</p><p>”No, short of a few words about how we all are, they never talk about the 118 anymore” Chim replied</p><p>Just then the headline came up on the TV once more ‘Hero Navy SEAL awarded Congressional Medal of Honour’ and the newsreader began to talk “Emotional scenes in DC today as US Navy SEAL Lieutenant Evan Buckley was awarded with the Medal of Honour for his heroism in Afghanistan three months ago. Buckley was awarded the honour in a ceremony in the White House rose garden earlier today. Neither he nor his immediate family were available for comment, however the Navy has issued a statement commending his valour under fire. Lieutenant Buckley, then Warrant officer Buckley reportedly threw himself at a suicide bomber, getting shot in the process, in a successful attempt to save the lives of his team and innocent civilian bystanders - his gallant actions earning him the medal of honour”</p><p>”I thought he was getting the Navy Cross?” Bobby was the first to speak</p><p>”Originally they were gonna give him the cross, but these things change during committee. I was originally out up for a distinguished service cross but instead was downgraded to a silver star - it just depends, the act is still the same regardless of the end decoration”</p><p>”Right...” Bobby said, before seeing a tear forming in the other man’s eye “Eddie, it’s okay for this to bring back some memories”</p><p>”It’s not that. I just, I miss him Bobby. I loved him, honestly think I still do and I never said it to him. Instead I hurt him and God, he must hate me because of it”</p><p>”Oh Eddie, I think he knew you loved him - maybe not in the way you’re talking about, but there are many types of love and he certainly knew you loved him as a best friend and from some of the glances he gave you before the lawsuit I think he loved you just as much as you loved him”</p><p>”Thanks Hen, but it’s just I think we could’ve had something really good, really good and I wish I could have another chance at that”</p><p>“Then talk to him! Beg, grovel, do whatever it takes for him to give you that second chance and then you go from there!” Lena exclaimed</p><p>”It’s not that simple - I don’t even have his phone number anymore. He’s changed it and Maddie’s hardly going to give me his new one...”</p><p>”Have you asked?”</p><p>”I don’t need to, I know she wouldn’t even consider it”</p><p>”Well then hang around at the VA - figure out where he is and grovel Diaz. Seriously, you’re ballsy enough to nearly kill someone in the boxing ring but are gonna wimp out of telling the man you love how you feel?” Lena finished, putting Eddie in his place.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><b>1 Week later:</b> <b></b></p><p>“So, Hen. I figured out where Buck is - it was in the paper this morning and now I just need to figure it’s what I’m gonna say...”</p><p>”Well, start with an apology.... then maybe say that you love him?” She replied dryly</p><p>”Hey, don’t take that tone with me Hen. You might have been slightly better than me, but you still didn’t try to stop us”</p><p>”And I regret that, but you and Bobby you destroyed his family - it’s gonna take much more than a bouquet of roses and a nice bottle of wine to change that. Tonight is not the night to confess your love - ease into it, focus on repairing what you had before you try for more”</p><p>Eddie’s mind was running on overdrive at the comment until he was interrupted by the sight of Maddie’s car pulling into the station lot</p><p>”Hey Chim, Maddie’s here!... wait, is that... is that Buck?”</p><p>”BUCK!” Eddie knew he was making a fool of himself, but as soon as he saw the man he charged forward - wrapping the younger man into a fierce hug and ignoring how the well developed muscle under Buck’s shirt tensed momentarily, as if he was going to throw his ex colleague to the ground, before loosening again and allowing Buck to loosely return the gesture. It was awkward but Eddie didn’t care - Buck was back, maybe he was going to retire and return to the 118!</p><p>”Eddie” </p><p>“I’ve missed you!”</p><p>”Oh...”</p><p>”What do you mean ‘oh’, doofus - I missed you. As soon as you left I realised what I’d done and I just wanted to contact you but Maddie said you changed your phone number”</p><p>”I’m honestly only here cause Maddie didn’t want me left alone in my apartment with the news trucks everywhere - you all know how much I hate attention”</p><p>”So you’re not here to see us?”</p><p>”I honestly didn’t even know I was coming here until we turned down the street and I saw the truck. If I had I probably would’ve taken my chances with the reporters” Buck replied coldly</p><p>“Oh... so you’re not here to see us?”</p><p>”I honestly didn’t think you wanted to see me... and I wasn’t sure I wanted to see any of you either. When I left I was so scared - I thought I was going to be alone, but I found a family in the SEALs and that helped me get over everything with the 118”</p><p>”Carla told me about you paying for Chris...”</p><p>”It’s true - I have arrangements put in place for all of the kids in my will as well. I have no quarrel with the Children and spouses, they always made me so welcome in their families - more welcome than any work colleague should...”</p><p>”I love you” Eddie whispered, choked by tears</p><p>”No, you don’t get to do that. You don’t get to watch me leave, after treating me like some sort of a pariah for a year and then say that. If you really felt that way we had three years of working together when you could’ve said it - so you don’t get to try to guilt me back by playing with my feelings again. I wish I could say it was nice seeing you Diaz, but it wasn’t” Buck said, stalking off after his sister - a sneer across his face.</p><p>“Ouch... I did warn you kid” Hen said, walking up behind her coworker</p><p>”I know, I know. Maybe I deserved stone cold rejection - after all what I did wasn’t much better”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“Buck!”</p><p>”Captain” Buck said, with a nod before going off in search of Maddie - he was leaving even if it created a scene</p><p>”Buck, come here and talk to me... please. I want to say some things I really should’ve said a long time ago”</p><p>”Fine. But then I’m finding Maddie and leaving”</p><p>”Buck - that night when you were stuck under the truck was the worst night of my life...”</p><p>”Wish I could say the same”</p><p>”I know we forced you off into the SEALs, but...”</p><p>”Oh no, I’m not talking about the SEALs - I’m talking about the nights where I went home after another shift spent as a cleaner more or less, after I knew you were all going out for drinks to celebrate some sort of rescue and that I wasn’t invited. Hell, you didn’t even try to hide the fact that you were all going out as a family and that I was no longer considered a part of that... nights like that easily top all of the pain I felt underneath that truck. Honestly those moments with my leg under twelve tons of steel actually were the last few minutes of me feeling like I belonged in the family we had all created. I woke up from surgery hours later and you were all there, then one day you stopped coming, then Hen, then Chim started to become too busy, then Ali dumped me for even daring to think about a return to the LAFD... then finally Eddie stopped coming by unless he needed someone to look after Christopher. Then, when I had battled through a major traumatic injury - for which I could have easily claimed a fortune from the LAFD as I would’ve never been hurt had it not been for a worn out seatbelt, which would’ve allowed me to retire to a nice house in Malibu and party every night. I instead trained to come back to the job - I set new records at the academy, only to suffer a blood clot. Again you were all over me in hospital and eventually the visits just dropped off and I wounding see anyone for weeks on end, unless free childcare was needed for date night. I took blood thinners and signed all of the required disclaimers to come back to work but you denied it. Then the tsunami hit...”</p><p>”The tsunami wasn’t my fault buck...”</p><p>”Yeah, but do you know how many people I personally saved? Thirty seven. I dived into the water thirty seven times and brought a person back each and every time. To do that, only to be told that I was supposedly unfit for moderate duty was an absolute farce. But do you know what made it worse? What made it worse was the fact that throughout all of it, you acted as if you had my back - just like I had everyone else’s when they needed me, only for me to find out that you were keeping me out of the job due to your ‘reservations about my mental state’. How did you have reservations about my mental state when you hadn’t had a proper conversation with me in months!” Buck shouted, encroaching upon Bobby’s personal space. He stepped back, reminding himself that Bobby want some terrorist he had been ordered to kill, when he saw the captain flinch away in fear.</p><p>”I had reservations about MY mental state! I couldn’t risk losing you again - I saw you like a son Buck, so every time, even before the accident, that I sent you into a burning building a little piece of me died inside. But afterwards, afterwards all I could see was the expression of agony on your face as you were lying in the street dying with no one able to get to you!” Bobby roared this time.</p><p>”Great. Then you should have fucking told me that! Okay? I saw the 118 as a family too, I would’ve understood that and I would’ve been more than willing to talk to you about it and even put in a transfer request if that was what you wanted... maybe you don’t know this, but whilst you were fumbling around with your mental health - my medical pay had been halved. You spend too long on sick leave and they reduce your pay - and another six months and I’d have been facing the option of taking medical retirement or going without pay altogether!”</p><p>”Buck, I never knew...”</p><p>”Fine. Then, when I came back, why were you so hostile. Although that’s the way my actual father treated me, I doubt you were comparing notes. You know my BUDs instructors were actually nicer to me than you were?”</p><p>”Buck, I am trying to be reasonable, but you’re making that impossible”</p><p>”You’re telling me things that you should’ve said ages ago and claiming that’s being reasonable? Do you know what would maybe be reasonable, a proper apology without all of the excuses. I’m meant to be flattered because you said you saw me as a son, I’m meant to feel honoured by Eddie saying he loves me? You all had your chances and you didn’t once think to say these things, you couldn’t bring yourself to offer me a nice word for over a year - no olive branch, no I’m sorry for the part I played in everything, not even a thank you when I brought everyone’s families together for that last Christmas! I at least got a civil word out of Chim, Eddie and Hen, but not from you!”</p><p>”So this is about the nature of our relationship changing to a proper working relationship rather than what we previously had?”</p><p>”Bobby, a proper working relationship is where you would have been capable of distancing yourself from your feelings and reviewing my case impartially - instead you kept me out of the department because <em>you </em>weren’t able to achieve the separation between Captain Nash and Bobby. I can’t help that!”</p><p>”You’re impossible!”</p><p>”Exhausting, impossible, surplus to requirement, dime a dozen. Those words don’t affect me anymore - I heard them from you too many times.” Buck said, glaring before storming after Maddie.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>When Buck finally left, Lena cornered Eddie and Bobby “What the fuck was that! Those were your idiotic attempts at apologies?”</p><p>”We said a lot more sorries than he did” </p><p>“Yeah, but by the sounds of it, he said his apologies long ago, only you didn’t want to listen. You’re both pathetic if you think that ‘I’m glad you’re back and I love you’ or ‘see it from my perspective’ are actual apologies!”</p><p>”What were we meant to say then?”</p><p>”Buck, it’s great to see you. When Maddie told us about what happened we were all so worried and it made us want to reach out and say that what we did to you was wrong and that we apologise unreservedly. Can you ever find it in your heart to forgive us?” Lena replied, with a glare</p><p>“I agree with Lena. What you said did not help our cause - Maddie’s agreed to convince him to see Hen and me outside of the station. Hopefully we manage to do a little better, cause <em>that. </em>That was pathetic and frankly embarrassing”</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>1 week later:</b>
</p><p>“Hey Maddie, Buck” Hen said, as she approached the park bench where the pair was sitting.</p><p>”Hen” Buck just said with a nod “sorry we couldn’t do this at a cafe or something, but I wanted privacy and I ain’t getting much of that at the minute”</p><p>”We could’ve left it a while if you’d prefer?”</p><p>”Can’t, I ship out again at the end of next week. Go off to rejoin my unit”</p><p>”Oh, we thought you’d maybe consider coming back?”</p><p>”No, I’ve found my place and if it doesn’t sound too cold I love my job. It gives me something that firefighting never did. The first time I retired, I deluded myself into thinking that firefighting replaced the adrenaline without the violence, and it did. But there was still something missing. I think I’ve found that something again”</p><p>”Buck, we’re so sorry for the way we treated you and I hope you know that after you left Lena chewed out Bobby and Eddie for not apologising. But I really am sorry - we should’ve been there to listen and we should’ve had the sense to question it when Bobby had us all give you the cold shoulder for 12 whole months”</p><p>”It’s fine Hen. I’ve got over it - but that doesn’t mean I want to go back. One day I intend to return to LA, but I never intend on darkening the door of the LAFD again”</p><p>”Well, Buck. I think I can speak for myself and Hen in saying that we really are sorry for what we did and for what we allowed to happen. Even if Bobby and Eddie are too emotionally constipated to say it, we aren’t and we want to build a friendship with you again Buck” Chim said, sitting down next to Hen.</p><p>”Ok... here’s my new number but please don’t give it to Bobby or Eddie”</p><p>”I promise I won’t. Anyway, where has life taken you now Buck?”</p><p>”Well, as you know I’m with the SEALs. I’m just on a regular team - number four based at Coronado, I was on team six before I joined the 118, but I realised that I wasn’t quite cut out for all of the special ops work so I didn’t bother trying to rejoin them when I came back. Also Maddie threatened to kill me if I joined them again, because of the added danger I’d be putting myself in. Then as you know I’m now a Lieutenant, which I’m very proud of - so that’s gonna be different, leading as an officer and as a WO are surprisingly different experiences. But I’m looking forward to it”</p><p>”That’s great Buck”</p><p>”Maddie keeps me relatively up to date with everything that happens with the 118, so I suppose I should congratulate you on baby Sabrina Hen. I was happy for you and Karen when I found out last year”</p><p>”Thanks Buckaroo”</p><p>Their talk went on in this vein for another hour or two and Buck was glad that he had been able to rebuild the bridges with at least a few members of his old crew. Even if he never intended on rejoining them.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>1 week later:</b>
</p><p>“I’m going to go and see Buck. You said he was being deployed soon and I want to see him before that happens”</p><p>”Eddie, I think you’ve done a lot of damage with the things you’ve...”</p><p>”No, I’m going to see him and this time I’m gonna take Lena’s advice and grovel”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Buck was just packing his bag with the few possessions and many uniform changes he would be bringing out to the desert with him, when the doorbell rang.</p><p>”Hey Buck. Can I come in?”</p><p>”No, I don’t think so”</p><p>”Buck please. I want to talk to you”</p><p>”Then talk here” Buck replied coldly as Eddie stood in the doorway</p><p>”Buck, I’m sorry. Really and truly sorry and I need you to know that I regretted what I did almost as soon as you left”</p><p>”Ok. Thank you, I’ve always maintained that I was sorry for airing everyone’s dirty laundry in the lawsuit. But I hope that now you can see why I had to do it”</p><p>”I do. And I’m so sorry for not seeing it from your perspective before - I told you that you were selfish and exhausting, but you’re just about as selfless as they come and when you left I realised just how empty I felt without you”</p><p>“Look, do you want to come in Eddie. I missed what we had before the lawsuit, but now I don’t know which version of you is the true Eddie” Buck said, stepping aside to let the other man in.</p><p>”Both are, just after the lawsuit I flipped out and I shouldn’t have, but I did. I didn’t understand and I didn’t try to and for that I will be forever sorry. Can we have another go at being friends?”</p><p>”Ok, just please don’t make me regret it like you did the last time. Oh and also don’t tell Chris cause I leave to join my team in an undisclosed location in one day”</p><p>”I know. That’s why I came to see you, I didn’t want you to leave with bad blood between us. I really am sorry”</p><p>”I am too, for everything I did wrong. But thank you. Now I suppose you have Chris at home?”</p><p>”Nope, he’s at Abuela’s”</p><p>”Then do you want to stay, have a beer and order some food in?”</p><p>”Yeah Buck. I’d love to”</p><p>”Fair warning. Maddie will be round later for all my spare keys and my phone - I give them all to her for safe keeping whilst I’m away” Buck said, looking up when he heard soft sniffling coming from his <strike>ex</strike> friend. “Hey, it’s okay. I’ll be back, I promise”</p><p>”You’d better. Cause I love you and I will do anything to prove myself, but I just don’t want to lose you a day after I found you again”</p><p>”You won’t. I’m good at what I do, trust me”</p><p><br/>
<b>Epilogue. Seven years later:</b>
</p><p>“LAPD SWAT! Come out with your hands up!” Buck roared at the building, his team behind him. He had left the SEALs two years previously and had immediately been accepted into the SWATs as a sergeant, however he was now a lieutenant and was leading the scene that day. When no response came he led the team into the building.</p><p>Within seconds a loud crack sounded through the air the sent everyone outside ducking for cover. Whilst the other police units screamed “shots fired!” Into their radios. Moments later a figure that to Eddie was unmistakably Buck came running out to grab the firefighters.</p><p>”Target down. We put a round through his shoulder, but otherwise he’s fine. You can come in and grab him”</p><p>Eddie, now the captain of the 118 led his team in. Hen and Chim no longer worked with the 118, with Hen having become a doctor and Chim becoming an instructor at the academy. Lena had moved on after a few years to take on a command at the 25th and Bobby had retired a few months after Buck had returned to LA. “Babe, can you stop giving me heart attacks” he murmured as he followed his husband into the building.</p><p>”I’ll try, but you know me... no promises”</p><p>”Yeah, well if you die on me I’ll have to have them bring you back so I can kill you”</p><p>”sounds like a plan” Buck said, pulling Eddie into a side hug when no one could see. Before he ran back to his now wolf whistling team.</p><p>Buck and Eddie had married three years after Buck was awarded the medal of honour. They had had some things to work out, but had managed to do it, like all people who truly love each other can. They had married in a big ceremony in front of all their family, with just one exception. Bobby had never apologised to Buck, making it quite clear that he still felt the man was a petulant child who got what was coming to him. The then captain had more or less banned the younger man from entering the station, although he occasionally popped in anyway when he was on leave and gradually Buck had rebuilt once broken bonds with his old team. Something that he was surprisingly grateful for the chance to do. In his final years at the station, Bobby found himself being invited to less and less, as every time they went out as a family he would refuse to even look Buck in the eye, he even tried to deny Eddie leave to pick him up from the airport when he was discharged.</p><p>Now, the 118 has a new identity. New members, and it had reformed itself under the careful leadership of one Eddie Diaz. It had truly become one of LA’s finest, just like Buck’s beloved SWAT team.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Evan Buckley, a man of few words and many actions</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Buck is still on the outs with his team, but when they get called to a veteran holding his family hostage they see a different side to their youngest member as he manages to talk the man down.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Buckley! Suit up, we’re bringing you along too - it’s all hands on deck!” Bobby shouted, as he and the 118 ran to the truck</p><p>”Yes Cap” Buck replied - overjoyed at what was his first chance in three months to ride in the truck.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>”We have a male, mid thirties. Ex army rangers, psych assessment is that he’s going through some shit and that he’s not one hundred percent with us” the incident commander explained to Bobby as the 118 pulled up</p><p>”Know the feeling” Eddie interjected as he walked past the captain</p><p>”Anyway, the negotiators are working with him but he says that no one understands and that he’ll shoot the next person who tries to ‘hurt’ his family. Meanwhile, his daughter is suffering a panic attack, his son’s not much better and his wife phoned us thinking he was gonna kill them”</p><p>”Shit”</p><p>”Were you listening in Buckley!?” Bobby shouted </p><p>”Nope, but I heard the tail end of it. I knew a guy pulled a stunt like this - didn’t end well”</p><p>”What happened?” The commander started, cutting Bobby off</p><p>”Family was okay, but he killed four police officers before they got him. Kids had to watch as he was pronounced dead by paramedics” Buck shuddered as he recounted the story.</p><p>”That was in LA too?”</p><p>”Yeah, down near Coronado. Guy was an ex SEAL - probably why he was able to do so much damage with a hand gun”</p><p>”What did the police do exactly?”</p><p>”I wasn’t there until it was too late, but I think they decided a direct assault would be a good idea. You need someone who understands where he’s coming from and then they could maybe talk him down before anyone gets hurt”</p><p>”Yeah, I’ll get someone down here who fits the bill - sergeant Harrleson from 20 SWAT might”</p><p>”Yeah, do yourself a favour. Do not send a SWAT over to negotiate. Anyway, Hondo gets way too protective over families”</p><p>”You got a better idea?”</p><p>”I’ll do it. I kinda lied when I said I just knew the guy who pulled a stunt like this - I was on his team, so was sergeant Harrleson”</p><p>”Right, let’s get you a vest” the commander replied and Buck followed him when he walked off, ignoring the glare boring into the back of his head.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>”Hey, are you David Finch?” Buck said, as he cautiously approached the front door of the house</p><p>“Who are you! Come closer and I’ll shoot!”</p><p>”Hey, don’t worry. WO Evan Buckley, US Navy SEALs. I’m here to help you”</p><p>”You swear?”</p><p>”I swear” Buck replied, stepping back as the man opened the door</p><p>”Get in” </p><p>“David, you’ve made a bit of a mistake, ok. Your family, they aren’t in any danger”</p><p>”Look at the people out there, look at the guns and say they’re not here for them!”</p><p>”They’re not, they’re here cause you shot the mailman David. I know it was a mistake - and I know you’re going through some stuff. We all do when we get discharged”</p><p>”I’m not crazy!”</p><p>”I never said you were. But quite often, certain experiences bring us back to past traumas and that’s what’s happening here. Okay, I hear a car backfire and I duck behind something. My friend’s kid got a first person shooter game a few months ago and I walked into the house when he was playing it and had a panic attack cause it reminded me of a raid I was in. These things happen, but this, this isn’t the way to deal with them. The mission’s over - you’re back home and safe and so we can keep it that way do you think you could give me the gun?”</p><p>”NO! Then they’ll come in and kill me!”</p><p>”Give me the gun, and I promise. If anyone tries to kill you I’ll get them first - okay?”</p><p>”NO! You’re one of them - your uniform, you’re a cop aren’t you!” The man replied with an accusatory tone</p><p>”No David, I’m a firefighter - and all I want to do is to get you out and make sure you’re okay. We all saw some shit and did some shit, there’s another guy on my team - he tried to deal with his issues by taking up street fighting, he’d have killed someone if he wasn’t an EMT. I went through a patch where I slept with a new person every night just to mask all the pain. What you’re doing here is no different, okay?”</p><p>”Okay?”</p><p>”Now give me the gun, and let me lead you out that door where we can get you checked out. Get you an appointment with a therapist...”</p><p>”No! I don’t need some shrink telling me I have anger problems and daddy issues!”</p><p>”Hey now. I used to think like that, but since joining the LAFD I’ve learnt that vulnerability - when you’re somewhere safe, isn’t a bad thing. I don’t know if you saw it, but about 13 months ago there was a fire truck blown up and someone got pinned under it. That was me, they thought I would never work again - and I just wanted to end it all, I went to see a therapist and it helped - it didn’t solve everything, but rather than feeling like I was losing control, it put me back in control. When you serve you keep your emotions repressed so you can get through the mission, but when you get back home, when you get back home the only mission is to recover”</p><p>”Ok” David replied shakily</p><p>”Now let’s get you out and safe. Ok, we’ll get you to the hospital you’ll meet with a psychiatrist and they’ll prescribe medication to help you deal with everything. Then they’ll talk to you about strategies you can employ when your mind takes you back there. So what do you say, are you gonna walk out of here with your head held high, a serviceman who was injured fighting for his country. Or are you going to stay behind and force me to go out empty handed? Cause if you choose the latter it’s all down hill from there”</p><p>”Here” the man said, holding out the gun.</p><p>Buck swiftly took it and disarmed the weapon, before leading the man out to the waiting police officers.</p><p>”Now David, I’m gonna come check on you in hospital tonight. Okay?” David just nodded quietly - the realisation of what he had done sinking in.</p><p> </p><p>”KID!”</p><p>”HONDO! Long time no see”</p><p>”You’re telling me! By the way, good work Buckley - never had you down as someone who did emotions”</p><p>“It’s a recent development Hondo, don’t worry. Not going soft on you”</p><p>”I know you’re not. I’m proud kid” The SWAT said, pulling him in for a hug</p><p>”Oh, by the way. I think this is for you” Buck said, handing over the gun and standing back whilst the other man checked it over</p><p>”Thanks. Now tell me - your team seemed weird while you were in there”</p><p>”Yeah, I dropped the SEAL bombshell on them about two seconds before heading in. Then we also aren’t in good terms after the lawsuit...”</p><p>”Lawsuit!”</p><p>”After the truck bombing... I sued the captain for unfair termination of employment. I don’t know whether he’s annoyed I sued or annoyed I won, but...”</p><p>“Bastard. I know Steve was a lot of things as a commander, not all of them perfect, but he’d have always let someone fit for duty back in the team”</p><p>”Yeah, well he’s the same for everyone other than me apparently”</p><p>”I refer you to my previous comment. Anyway, great seeing you again kid, and do not for one second think you’re getting away with going dark for another three years”</p><p>”Ok, I’ll call you Hondo!” Buck shouted, walking off</p><p>”You’d better!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>”Buck, what was that stunt you just pulled?!” Bobby was over and shouting instantly</p><p>”That stunt I just pulled saved four lives”</p><p>”Yeah, lying to an incident commander - great idea”</p><p>”I didn’t lie. I was a SEAL for a decade before joining the 118”</p><p>”Yeah right. Truck NOW, and we’ll be talking about this later”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>”Hey, you’re the captain of the 118. Yeah?”</p><p>”Who are you?”</p><p>”Sergeant Harrleson from 20 SWAT. I served with Kid - he’s not lying to you”</p><p>”Why’d you call him kid?”</p><p>”Cause he was only 21 when he joined the special warfare development group” The sergeant said, before realising he needed to elaborate based upon the captain’s expression. “SEAL team six”</p><p>”Oh... so he wasn’t...?”</p><p>”Nope, he was one of the best. Retired a warrant officer - if he’d stayed I think he would’ve earned a commission by now. Poor kid, his parents kicked him out when he was sixteen and dropped out of school, lived on the streets for a year before going into the recruiting office and signing up. He always said it was the best decision he ever made. He had a sister, but she’s in an abusive relationship so I don’t think she knew. When we first saw him we thought the HR department had made a mistake, then we saw him in action - he’s tough, in the way only someone who has gone without a roof for a while can be. He’s not the dumb muscle you treat him as and he’s not the delicate kid we initially thought he was”</p><p>”Oh God... So, all this time, I’ve been treating him the exact way his parents did. Why didn’t he tell us?”</p><p>”Hey, you think you have a tight bond cause you do 24 hour shifts together. But try living in the pockets of seven other people for months on end. You either kill each other or become closer than family and tell each other your deepest darkest secrets. SEAL training is designed to produce the latter outcome”</p><p>”I need to speak to him...”</p><p>”Yeah, you do. He has his demons as much as that man did, but from experience - if you make him feel like he isn’t wanted or needed anymore, he will one day silently pack his whole life up and leave. He has PTSD, only it’s not just from the Navy - war was his escape” the sergeant finished darkly, and Bobby could feel tears pricking his eyes.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>”Buck” Bobby said, as the truck pulled into the station “can I see you in my office please”</p><p>”Oh come on Bobby, what’s he meant to have done now!” Eddie shouted, not caring if anyone was listening</p><p>”I just want to speak to him”</p><p>”I heard you before you sent him off to the truck and frankly, if I said I was in the army and was met with that sort of a response. Then I’d be pretty torn up about it, you have absolutely no right to speak to someone in that way and I am honestly ashamed to have gone along with your cold shoulder policy for this long” Eddie finished, walking over to Buck and hugging him. Before saying “you did good today. That can’t have been easy for you”</p><p>”Thanks Eddie, but it’s fine. I’ll be over in a second Cap” Buck said, nodding his head when Eddie mouthed ‘you want me to come too?’</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>”Buck, Eddie’s right. I owe you an apology, both for everything I’ve done over the last three months and for what I said today - I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that and I really shouldn’t have accused you of lying when I had no reason to believe you were saying anything other than the truth”</p><p>”Thank you”</p><p>”Sergeant Harrleson also said some things about your past...”</p><p>”Oh shit”</p><p>”I’m sorry that I made you feel we didn’t want you. Honestly, the station isn’t the same without you about, and the team isn’t as complete when we go out in the truck without you. Which is why from today onwards I will never make you be man behind out of spite again, I promise. I’ve marred the boundaries of Bobby Nash and Captain Nash way to many times, so now I’m going to endeavour to be totally fair if anything like the bombing and lawsuit ever happens again. Okay?”</p><p>”Okay Cap.<br/><br/>“Also, I remember I once laughed you out of the room when you said you might have had a sex addiction. I’m sorry about that - I didn’t realise what you were going through”</p><p>”How did you know I talked about that?”</p><p>”You were on an open mic the whole time. You were kinda a human listening device as a backup if you weren’t able to talk him down” Eddie chuckled.</p><p>”And there is something I wish I had known before going in there. Sorry about airing your fight club thing to everyone”</p><p>”Hey, it saved four people - I think I’ll live. Also, Chris has already had a talk about how he has to wear headphones when he plays that game because the noises scare Daddy. So do not fear” Eddie chuckled, as he and Buck walked out of the office. “Talking of Chris, he really misses you - fancy movie night?”</p><p>”How could I say no to my favourite Diaz”</p><p>”Thanks”</p><p>”It’s him, not you, you dork”</p><p>”Second favourite Diaz?”</p><p>”Abuela”</p><p>”Ok, that’s fair. Third?”</p><p>”Toss up between you and Pepa. But I think you win”</p><p>”I am honoured to be your third favourite Diaz”</p><p>“Hey, look on the bright side. The Diaz’s are my favourite family, so by that logic you’re my third favourite person. Not bad out of almost 8 billion”</p><p>“I’ll take that” Eddie replied, bumbling shoulders with Buck as they walked out of the station together.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Demons inside</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Chris, unbeknownst to his Dads, gets a new game from Helena and Ramon Diaz. When Buck and Eddie come home after a long shift, just in time to hear rapid machine gun fire and air strikes coming from the sitting room, a conversation is triggered that shows Chris the very human side of his two ‘superhero’ parents.</p><p>Married Buddie + Helena and Ramon Diaz are actually good parents and grandparents in this one.</p><p>I tampered a bit with the timeline for this, so Chris would be nine or ten in this fic.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Fuck, that was one hell of a shift babe”</p><p>”I know, you ever wake up in the morning and just know that it’s gonna be a bad day? Cause I had one of those mornings” Buck replied</p><p>”I know the feeling exactly. Did all hell break loose in LA or something - I swear I have not seen that many GSWs in a day since I was in Afghanistan”</p><p>”I agree. And I’ve had some crazy shifts before your time. Ever tell you about the night I had four pregnancies in the space of ten minutes followed by a poor guy with a tapeworm who was seriously checking me out during treatment. Seriously, I think his boyfriend was poised to kill me”</p><p>”Oddly enough I think I have heard that story, like 500 times, although I’d have to check”</p><p>”Hey, three years of marriage - I’m an open book”</p><p>”A sexy open book”</p><p>”I’ve never had a complaint” Buck shrugged as Eddie put his keys into the lock on the door. Pressing a light peck to Buck’s lips before all hell broke loose</p><p>Christopher was playing his new game at more or less full volume on the tv, and just as soon as Buck and Eddie walked over the threshold. An explosion reverberated throughout the house causing them both to slam their bodies to the ground and cover their heads on reflex.</p><p> </p><p><br/>”Edmundo? Evan? Are you here?” Helena said, walking out into the hall</p><p>”Dios mio! Ramon! Turn the TV off, we’ve been idiots!”</p><p>”What darling?” Oh goodness - I never thought. Hey Edmundo? Come back to us, it’s okay”</p><p>”Uhh, sorry Dad” Eddie said, rising off the floor embarrassedly. Buck swiftly following suit</p><p>”Yeah, sorry Ramon. We didn’t mean to worry you. Just a long shift and I think we kinda set each other off” Buck added, ruefully rubbing his elbows.</p><p>“Nonsense. We’re the ones who should be sorry - we just didn’t think. Now you two, go and relax for a minute and we’ll explain what happened to Christopher. Okay?”</p><p>”Yeah. Thanks” They both said, before scurrying off to their bedroom to get changed into more casual clothes</p><p> </p><p>”Hey nieto. We just wanted to talk to you about something. Okay?”</p><p>”Yeah grandma”</p><p>”Well, you know how Your Dad and your Papa were both soldiers?”</p><p>”Yeah?”</p><p>”Well, sometimes people who were soldiers get a bit scared when they hear gunfire and bombs. It’s a condition called PTSD - it’s sort of... You remember how you were around water for a while after the tsunami?”</p><p>”Yeah, I was really scared. But Dr Angelo helped me. Can she help them?”</p><p>”Your dads were exposed to experiences like that for much longer than you were nieto so whilst yes, a therapist can help. It never really goes away. Sometimes when they’re tired, or are having a bad day, sounds like that bring their minds back to when they were at war and it scares them - they call things that do that triggers. We think that maybe your game is a trigger for your dads Christopher” Ramon said slowly, hoping the words would sink in.</p><p>“But my daddies are superheroes. They don’t get scared?”</p><p>”Christopher. Your Dads <em>are</em> heroes, but they still get scared. What makes people heroes is that when they’re scared, they battle though it and try to help people who need it. But that sometimes makes them be scared by irrational things like your game, so we have to help them, just like they help everyone else. Okay?”</p><p>”Okay. What are we going to do?”</p><p>”Well, I think that the first thing we’ll do is go in and give your Papa and your Dad a big hug, to remind them that they’re safe and that we love them. And then Grandma and I will go out tomorrow and buy you a pair of earphones for your game, so that you can still play it, but your dads can’t hear the sound effects. In the meantime Christopher, and this is very important, in the meantime we can’t play the game because we don’t want to scare them. Right?”</p><p>”Yeah. Playing mario kart won’t scare them, right?</p><p>”No Christopher. Mario kart is absolutely fine, anything that doesn’t involve shooting is fine”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Dad! Papa!” Christopher shouted, as Ramon lifted him up onto the bed where Buck and Eddie were lying</p><p>”Hey superman!”</p><p>”Hi Mijo. We missed you”</p><p>”I’m sorry if my game scared you” the boy said sheepishly</p><p>”Oh, that’s okay Chris. We know it was an accident, right Buck?”</p><p>”Of course, accidents happen Chris. You weren’t to know”</p><p>”Grandma and Abuelo are going to buy me headphones so I can play my game without you hearing it. Is that okay?”</p><p>”Yes mijo. That’s a great idea” Eddie said, as he pulled his son in for a hug. Buck mouthing ‘thank you’ over his head, before snuggling down with his two boys</p><p>”We’ll leave you three to it. Okay? We’ll be back round tomorrow, buenos noches mijos”</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Wildfires</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The 118 respond to the wildfire, but the 126 are thoroughly disappointed with Buck. Until they learn his secret...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I know her, and it’s driving me crazy Hen” Buck said, as he stared over at Marjan</p><p>”Buck, am I gonna need to report you?”</p><p>”Seeing that I’m married to the guy standing next to me and we have a kid together I’m gonna say no”</p><p>”Buck, seriously. Stop staring”</p><p>”Do you think she’d be annoyed if I went over and just asked her if she knows me?”</p><p>”<em>Buck. Stop”</em></p><p>“Hen. Would we be having this conversation if I was staring at a guy?”</p><p>”You know what Buck. YES, yes we would”</p><p>“Hen, I am not committing a crime by trying to place someone I know I’ve seen before”</p><p>”Focus on the damn briefing Buck”</p><p>”I am capable of doing both”</p><p>”Eddie, say something to your husband”</p><p>”Buck. You seriously could be unsettling Marjan - you need to stop staring. Ask her once this is done” Eddie said with a sigh. The moment never arose after the briefing, however, as Eddie Marjan were both sent out in the ATVs together and Buck given a role in building the fire line. He just realised that Marjan was #firefox as she and Eddie were leaving, although he said it loudly enough for his partner to hear, and know he had been vindicated</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>up at the campsite:</b>
</p><p>“Good job Diaz” Marjan said, just as escharotomy had been completed</p><p>”You too Firefox”</p><p>”Huh? You’re seriously asking to follow me on IG?” Marjan said, as her phone pinged</p><p>”Sorry, Buck figured it out just as we were leaving and I though I needed to see the famous #firefox for myself”</p><p>”Ughhh, he’s so annoying. Tell you what, I’ll show you mine if you’ll show me yours”</p><p>”Okay. And by the way - he just kinda gets tunnel vision and has to see something through to completion. That’s what happened today, he recognised you and had to figure out where from... he doesn’t mean to be intense”</p><p>”You seem to have a very high opinion of him”</p><p>”Not many people get crushed under a 12 ton ladder truck and live to tell the tale. Never mind get crushed, then set new records at the academy so they can get re-certified, before taking a blood clot and being forced onto blood thinners and yet still somehow managing to save fifty or more people during a tsunami” Eddie replied, realising he was verging into slightly to angry a tone.</p><p>”Whoa... okay”</p><p>”I mean, he’s got an ego the size of the state too and never does the laundry... but still”</p><p>”You live together?”</p><p>”In sickness and in health”</p><p>”Oh shit, I never realised...”</p><p>”It’s fine. He and our kid - Christopher. They’re my everything. I was so happy when I got into the same station as him”</p><p>”Oh, so you didn’t meet through work?”</p><p>”Well yeah, but not the LAFD. We were both in the military before firefighting”</p><p>”Oh?”</p><p>”Yeah, it was always his dream and it was something I did to make ends meet after Chris was conceived”</p><p>”oh...”</p><p>”oh indeed. My parents wanted us to marry and we did, but we were only together for a few months. She died during the birth and I ran back to Afghanistan”</p><p>“Where you met Buck?”</p><p>”Nah, I met him stateside. I was teaching a first aid course to the SEALs down at Coronado a few years later after the silver star and I fell for him by the time the week was over”</p><p>”Love at first sight?”</p><p>”Nope, I thought he was an arrogant dick for the first day or two. But then there was an accident down on one of the firing ranges - we saved a guy’s life together and I realised that the arrogance was just a bit of an act cause I may have given him his bisexual awakening”</p><p>”Oh goodness. That is too good to be true” Marjan was laughing now</p><p>”I wonder what he’s up to?”</p><p>”Probably on the fire line”</p><p>”Ohh, he’s gonna be so grumpy tonight then”</p><p>”Huh?”</p><p>”He absolutely hates grunt work - did you see the look of jealousy and betrayal that he shot me when I got into the ATV” Eddie was laughing now as they tried to fill the time.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Meanwhile Back at base:</b>
</p><p>“Captain Strand?”</p><p>”Yes... uhmmm”</p><p>”Paramedic Wilson sir. I think we need a helicopter sent up to the campsite. The team just radioed in, one of the kids is missing”</p><p>”It’s too dangerous”</p><p>”It’s your house sir that have split up”</p><p>”I still say it’s too dangerous... for anyone other than me to go”</p><p>”I’m coming too sir”</p><p>”No...”</p><p>”You’ll need a paramedic. I’m coming too”</p><p>”Right, grab me a harness then. One of us is gonna have to drop down the the team on the ground to do an air evac”</p><p>”Who’s going to be dropping down where?” Buck said, as he walked up behind them</p><p>”What’re you doing here Buckaroo?”</p><p>”Had to bring Mateo in to get checked out. TK and I kinda crushed him”</p><p>”Huh?”</p><p>”Long story, but everyone’s okay. He just has a bit of bruising that they wanted checked out. As for the helicopter rescue you’re proposing - if you need someone to go down on the winch. I’ll do it”</p><p>”It’s dangerous Buckley”</p><p>”That’s exactly why I should do it. Not you”</p><p>”What?”</p><p>”Captain strand. Our Buck here’s a retired Navy SEAL”</p><p>”It’s gonna be windy up there. If you’re not experienced enough you could go swinging into a few hundred degrees of fire. I have training to always land exactly on target, I know all the tricks of the trade to keep us safe”</p><p>”Okay, if you’re sure. Let’s go” Owen decided, before leading the pair to the helicopter</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Back at the camp:</b>
</p><p>“Hey look, there’s the helicopter going in to grab the kid. We should be out of here in no time. Or at least here’s hoping”</p><p>”Who would be crazy enough to fly a helicopter into this?”</p><p>“Hen Wilson”</p><p>”Who?”</p><p>”The paramedic I spoke to. She’s on my crew - she never leaves anyone behind if she can avoid it”</p><p>”How about your husband?”</p><p>”If there’s some sort of crazy and dangerous rescue to be done, he’ll do it. But I’m hoping he’s still on the line”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>inside the helicopter:</b>
</p><p>“I got something! I got a heat signature, human in shape and just behind those trees”</p><p>”Right. Captain could you help me harness up?”</p><p>”I’m not gonna be able to hold a steady hover...” the captain started</p><p>”You do your best and I’ll work with it” Buck replied, slipping into the fire retardant outer layer, before clipping on the harness. “I’m good to go when we’re ready”</p><p>Just then Judd radioed up. “We’ve got him... but he’s stuck in a bear trap?”</p><p>”Okay, firefighters. I’m sure you’re qualified, but...”</p><p>”No, please continue. We’ll take all the help we can get”</p><p>Hen then proceeded to walk Judd through the necessary procedures, before Buck was winched down. Keeping his body straight as a die as he was lowered.</p><p>”Are you crazy kid!?”</p><p>”Used to jump out of planes at thirty odd thousand feet and not deploy my parachute until one thousand for a living so yeah, kinda”</p><p>”Huh?”</p><p>“I’m a retired SEAL. Now can you help me get him into the basket?” Buck said, before reaching for his radio “Right Hen, we’re sending the basket up on its way”</p><p>”Roger that. We’ll drop the cable back down for you”</p><p>”See you back at base guys” Buck said, clipping himself in. However a strong gust of wind made the helicopter pilot lose all control of his craft, yanking Buck about two hundred meters back “SHIT!” the man cried, reaching for the utility knife in his belt to cut the line. Only just managing to get free before being pulled into the flames.</p><p>”You okay kid?!”</p><p>”Never better. That helicopter on the other hand... I hope that pilot’s good”</p><p>”Let’s get out of here. Head back to Eddie and Marjan”</p><p>”Do me a favour... if Eddie asks what happened, I wasn’t attached to the helicopter when it went out of control. He’ll freak out if he knows”</p><p>”Why?”</p><p>”Cause he has watched me get injured way to many times in our relationship”</p><p>”Oh...”</p><p>”You got a problem with that?”</p><p>”Hell no. I just thought I saw you checking Marjan out”</p><p>”Ohhh, no. I just recognised her from Insta but I didn’t realise at the time. It was eating me up the whole briefing”</p><p>”Ha, I imagine she was the same if you pull similar stunts to this regularly”</p><p>”Oh no. She doesn’t even follow me back” Buck pouted for effect “probably cause all I post are photos of my kid and husband which I will admit, probably get boring after a while. Probably took one look at it and thought I was a sixty year old trapped in a twenty nine year old’s body”</p><p>”If you’re only twenty nine, then when did you join the LAFD?”</p><p>”26, did eight years with the SEALs and then got married and wanted to be around more for my husband and step kid. We both decided to leave at the same time - still a reserve though. No one ever quite escapes special forces completely” Buck told them, just as they were pulling away in the ATV.</p><p>”Seriously. You joined the SEALs at eighteen? Your parents were okay with that?”</p><p>”I honestly think they liked the peace and quiet. Although they’re not my biological parents, I think...”</p><p>”Huh?”</p><p>”Its complicated. No one in my family will give me a straight answer, but I heard things growing up - I’m either the product of an affair, adopted or someone once mentioned the possibility that I’m actually the person who I think is my sister’s son. But she’s have been like twelve in that scenario and I’m told I was a big kid so I doubt it. Honestly with how fucked up my family is, my money’s on an affair”</p><p>”Ouch...”</p><p>”Yeah... SHIT! THE HELICOPTER’S GOING DOWN!”</p><p>”What?”</p><p>“Look, see the smoke coming out of the engines. They’ve ingested ash particles and the engines have seized up, it was a really common thing during operation Iraqi freedom, they set big diesel fires up around Baghdad and the aircraft coming in to bomb had to fly around them”</p><p>”How do you know this?”</p><p>”I mightn’t have many formal qualifications. Doesn’t mean I didn’t bother to learn stuff in my free time. Anyway, that helicopter is going down and we’re out of radio range”</p><p>”Right, we get back to the other two, we grab the patient and we get back and warn HQ”</p><p>”I say we send one ATV back with the patient and take the other out and get the survivors of the crash... they might be fine now, but they’re perilously close to the fire line”</p><p>“Too risky Hollywood”</p><p>”Stop me”</p><p>”We need to get permission for one of the trucks. There the only thing that’ll get us through there without becoming toast”</p><p>”The motor pool will never give you one”</p><p>”What if I told you I could steal you one?”</p><p>”Huh?”</p><p>”I stole our truck once to have sex with Eddie - I know exactly how to get a set of keys without anyone seeing”</p><p>”You’d lose your job!”</p><p>”Private security sector here I come”</p><p>“Buck...”</p><p>”Your captain and my friend are both on that helicopter. Look me in the eye and tell me you could live with yourself if they died” Buck said, with a venom normally missing from his tone</p><p>”What’s happened?” Eddie shouted, running over when he heard Buck’s voice “Buck? What are you doing here?”</p><p>”We came out to do an airlift and I dropped down with the basket, but the helicopter lost control before they could pull me back up. So here I am”</p><p>”What do you mean lost control?”</p><p>”shit, you didn’t know. The airlift helicopter’s crashed just over that ridge”</p><p>”What!?”</p><p>”Hen and Captain strand are on board. Alongside an unstable and relatively unsecured kid”</p><p>”What are we gonna do?” Marjan replied, worriedly</p><p>”Well, I want to take the ATVs over now and see if we can recover anything. But Judd thinks I have a death wish, so we’ve come to the agreement that we’re gonna head back to base and you’re all gonna make a diversion whilst I steal a truck to offer us more protection”</p><p>”But you could lose your...” Marjan exclaimed.</p><p>”Job, I know. But they could lose their lives and I value that higher. So are you in or are you out. Cause I’m doing this”</p><p>”I’m in. Where you go, I go” Eddie immediately said</p><p>”I’m in” Judd and Paul concurred</p><p>”Fine. I think you’re all crazy and we’re gonna get fired, but I once said I was allergic to bad leadership and there’s certainly none of that going on. So I’m in”</p><p>”Right, let’s get back. Floor it!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>HQ</b>
</p><p>“I know the risks! Let me take a group out there and find him!”</p><p>”NO! They could already be dead - I won’t send anyone else out into danger. I’m sorry TK” The commander replied, as TK glared</p><p>”Hey TK. Come here” Judd called, signalling him to come out “follow me. We’re going for your dad”</p><p>”Huh, but...”</p><p>”We’re stealing a truck and we’re heading out on our own. Buck’s already off getting the keys - turns out the guy has some... ahem talents we didn’t know about”</p><p>”Huh?”</p><p>”He’s an ex special forces soldier. So I think we’re in good hands”</p><p>”You letting someone from LA take charge of a job in Texas. Never thought I’d see the day Judson”</p><p>”He sort of staged a coup against me... my yielding wasn’t by choice”</p><p>”Hey TK - come on. We’re gonna get your dad. I’m not my captain’s son. But I might as well be, and I know I would go to any length to rescue him too”</p><p>”Thanks Buck. Now what’re you waiting for”</p><p>”the others”</p><p>”Others?”</p><p>”Eddie pulled a few favours from friends in the national guard. They’re going to respond for us during roll call if we’re not back on time. I’m just waiting on him to come back now”</p><p>Just then, Eddie and Paul came running back “right. I have officially cashed in all the favours a silver star can buy, would I do it again - every time. We good to go?”</p><p>”Yeah babe. Let’s go” Buck replied, pressing a kiss to Eddie’s lips</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The team and driven back to near the crash site when they saw it “Hey! There it is!” TK called immediately, before both he and Buck sprang down from the truck and sprinted to the carcass the machine.</p><p>”HEN!”</p><p>”DAD!” “They’re not here” Tk panted “Not here”</p><p>”Hey TK. That’s a good thing. If they’re not here, they’re alive. Focus on that and follow me!” Buck replied, charging into the woods behind the aircraft</p><p>”HEY! I GOT SOMETHING!” Eddie shouted, breaking the awful silence.</p><p>“Where?” Judd said, running over first.</p><p>”I think that’s a mine shaft and I know for a fact that it’s been deliberately caved in”</p><p>”Then what are we waiting for!” TK shouted</p><p>”STOP! Do not move anything. Buck said, finally catching Eddie’s train of thought “They found old dynamite. See the white crystals - that’s nitroglycerin. The second you move any of this stuff, boom” Buck said, using his hands to show the scale of what could happen.</p><p>”Then what do we do?”</p><p>”Someone get me a couple of pairs of nitrile gloves and some sort of tray that I can put this stuff in. I’m gonna have to remove it. Also some sort of thin blade will really make lifting it all easier” Buck ordered, as he crouched down to survey all the explosives.</p><p>Marjan arrived a few minutes later carrying all the requested equipment “Here Buck. You know what you’re doing?”</p><p>”I was a bomb disposal specialist in the SEALs fortunately. So I’ve got a fair idea, but I also know that in ideal circumstances I’d go nowhere near pure nitroglycerin”</p><p>”I’ll help” Eddie said, putting on a pair of gloves, before Buck turned to him</p><p>”You will not. If this blows one of us goes home to Chris, okay?”</p><p>”Buck...”</p><p>”Judd, please pull him back”</p><p>”Buck you need someone to help you!”</p><p>”I’ll do it” TK bravely volunteered “I don’t know what I’m doing. But I can hold stuff for you”</p><p>”Great, hold this tray for me. Meanwhile, everyone get back” Buck said, beginning to lift the nitroglycerin crystals which hadn’t exploded off the top of several sticks of dynamite that had been equally useless</p><p> </p><p>Five minutes later. Buck and TK poked around the structure before calling everyone back to start lifting the layers of old wood off, the remainder of the team immediately came running when their friends said they were okay. Eddie pulling Buck into a searing kiss before beginning to lift the wood.</p><p>”I CAN SEE THEM!” TK screamed, before jumping into the dark pit and checking both his father and Hen’s heart rates. He could tell from one glance that the pilot didn’t make it “TWO CRITICAL, ONE DECEASED!”</p><p>”Paramedic Wilson and Captain Strand are good for transport”</p><p>”Thank God” Came the response from some member of the team, before Eddie Marjan and Paul managed to squeeze into the chamber and drag their fellow firefighters out.</p><p> </p><p><br/>
The journey out to the wreck had taken half an hour. By pushing the truck to its limits, the journey home was no longer than twenty, and despite the sheer fury of the commander, the 118 and 126 were willing to take any consequences, provided the two intrinsic members of their teams made it out okay.</p><p>”You know you are definitely in the dog house now” Came a familiar voice from behind them, causing the 126 to fall into fits of giggles and the remaining two members of the 118 to look at each other with raised eyebrows.</p><p>“Carlos, meet Buck and Eddie from the 118th in LA. This whole plan was their idea...”</p><p>”Traitor!”</p><p>”You little shit!”</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Fight club</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>When Eddie calls 911 from the street fighting club, the 118 respond, rather than Lena’s crew and the fight club organiser is far more hostile. Cue Navy SEAL Commander Evan Buckley...</p><p>Really focuses on the Buck &amp; Bobby relationship</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“911 What is your emergency?”</p><p>“I’m in a warehouse on Wellington street, there’s a guy and he’s suffering a cranial haemorrhage after sustaining repeated blows to his head and face, resulting in the compound fracture of his nose and the compaction of the bone into the brain”</p><p>”Okay... do you have any medical experience?”</p><p>”Retired combat medic and before you ask, I’ve already removed the bone fragment” Eddie said, before handing up</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Five minutes later:</b>
</p><p>Eddie was watching out of an upstairs window as the 118 pulled up and ran into the building. As soon as he saw them arrive, he’s ashamed to say he turned and fled</p><p>”LAFD! Let us through! LAFD Move it!” Bobby was shouting but to no avail</p><p>”Get lost”</p><p>“Sir, let us in. Don’t make us call LAPD”</p><p>”Go fuck yourself!” The organiser snarled, before spotting a tall blonde man he would recognise anywhere “oh shit”</p><p>”Jenkins?!” Buck then shouted, half in surprise and half in fury “LET US IN NOW! AND CONSIDER THAT AN ORDER! You and I will be talking about this on Wednesday”</p><p>”Sorry sir. Please...”</p><p>”WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK THIS IS!”</p><p>”Please...”</p><p>”Tell me, what is this”</p><p>”Sir, I’m really sorry...”</p><p>”DID I EVER TRAIN YOU TO FUCKING GROVEL? STAND UP STRAIGHT, LOOK ME IN THE EYE AND TELL ME WHAT THIS IS, YOU PATHETIC PIECE OF SHIT!” Buck shouted, his tone louder than anyone at the 118 had ever heard from him. The emergence of Commander Buckley shocked them all into silence clearly</p><p>”Yes sir. This is a street fighting ring sir”</p><p>”And are you the organiser, a participant or just some sort of sad voyeur cause being in the SEALs doesn’t satisfy your craving for violence enough” Buck said, continuing the dressing down</p><p>”The organiser sir”</p><p>”Then tell your thugs to step aside and let us in, I won’t ask again. Or would you like to finish out the remainder of your contract in the Navy Catering corps?”</p><p>”Sorry sir, please don’t report...”</p><p>”WHAT WAS THAT!? Please don’t report you? YOU ARE A DISGRACE TO THE BADGE AND I WILL BE PUTTING THAT PERMANENTLY INTO YOUR RECORD!”</p><p>“Commander Buckley, please...”</p><p>”Get out of my fucking sight” Buck spat, shoving him aside roughly and leading the team into the warehouse</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>”What was that Buck?” Bobby inquired, as Hen and Chim got to work</p><p>”You know how I said I tried out for the SEALs and didn’t get in?”</p><p>”Yeah...”</p><p>”Well, I did and when I left I signed up for the reserves. I’m the Commander of SEAL team 17 down at Coronado. That’s why I take every Wednesday night off, it’s our parade night”</p><p>”So he’s one of your men?”</p><p>”I’ll be returning him to the fleet, I can’t let someone who breaks the law retain his pin. So he’ll only be one of my men until I get onto the HR department and report this whole thing”</p><p>”What’ll happen to him?”</p><p>”Could be court marshalled, definitely will be kicked out of the SEALs cause that’s my decision to make as his CO, might be facing a dishonourable discharge, or he might just be busted down to seaman and have all opportunities for future promotion removed, really depends on what the court decides if it goes that far. Worst case for him is a dishonourable discharge with civilian criminal proceedings”</p><p>”What’s the likelihood of that?”</p><p>”Depends on how repentant he is”</p><p>”So, just out of interest. How big’s your command?” Bobby said, trying to not feel outdone by the other man</p><p>”Classified, but I’m a OF-5 commander, if you’re interested, which makes me a senior officer”</p><p>”You’re very young for that”</p><p>”I’ve been in the navy eleven years so not really. Anyway, with the SEALs everything is done off merit”</p><p>”Why aren’t you more senior in the LAFD then?”</p><p>”Cause one command is enough, cause I’m very experienced at killing but no so experienced st helping and because the LAFD expects everyone to start from the bottom and work their way up”</p><p>”Can’t argue with that <em>commander... </em>Oh shit” Bobby said, seeing the organiser’ <em>thugs? Bouncers? Enablers? </em>Advancing on hen and Chim</p><p>”Huh?... BASTARDS!” Buck said, seeing what his Captain was looking at, before running over to them. “GET. AWAY. FROM. THEM. NOW”</p><p>”Or what? You’ll kick me out of the SEALs, oh wait, I’m not one of your lackeys”</p><p>”Don’t hurt them. If you’ve got a problem... if you’ve got a problem with us then fight me”</p><p>”You willing to take all the punishment we can throw at you until your weakling friends leave? Even if we manage to knock you out?” The guy asked with a raised brow. Buck looked around briefly, trying to spot Jenkins, before realising he’d fled the scene</p><p>”Yeah” Buck snarled back, “Hen, Chim be as fast as you can cause there’s like five of them and one of me”</p><p>”Buck...” Bobby said, heartbroken at the knowledge that the man who he saw as his son was certainly going to end up in hospital that night</p><p>”Call Athena” Buck mouthed to him “No sirens” before turning round and landing a kick right into one of the thugs’ heads. He then swiftly pivoted around, catching another one with a right hook to the nose, blood spraying from the orifice the second his fist connected. He then felt the first of many blows land on the back of his head. He continued in his dance with the five men for a good ten minutes, before one of them connected a blow with his temple that made him see stars. He continued throwing kicks and punches despite the pain, and even managed to take out three of the five fighters before the remaining two grabbed him and held him down, throwing punch after punch at his tortured frame. He lost consciousness for a few minutes during the attack, however, he later discovered that Bobby had phoned Athena and she came in with four other officers a few minutes into his beating.</p><p>Athena ran into the warehouse to see the sight every mother dreads, she saw her ‘son’ with a clearly broken nose, and blood staining his uniform. “LAPD! GET YOUR GOOD FOR NOTHING HANDS ABOVE YOUR HEADS!” They quickly complied and as she snapped handcuffs around the wrists of one of the thugs, she made sure to make them tight enough to dig into their skin. She saw as Hen and Chim immediately ran from their now stabilised patient and began working on their colleague. She watched them carry out their checks, tears welling in their eyes and she realised just how much Buck valued the family he had in the 118. It was only then that it stuck her that he had been quite willing to give his life for the team, and that he would have if she hadn’t arrived when she did. It was sobering and terrifying to see the amount of love that man’s heart contained.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Eddie’s house:</b>
</p><p>Eddie was sitting cleaning his injuries and checking his bruises when his phone rang. He was going to ignore it, but he decided against that when he saw Bobby’s name light up the screen. “Bobby, what’s up?”</p><p>”You need to come to LA general NOW, and you need to prepare yourself... it’s Buck. He’s in a really bad way”</p><p>”Mierda! What happened this time” Eddie grumbled, grabbing his keys and shoes</p><p>”He was assaulted. They.... they.... they almost killed him” Bobby sobbed</p><p>”When was this”</p><p>”About fifteen minutes ago. We were responding to an incident at an illegal fight club at this warehouse and these five thugs started trying to attack Hen and Chim whilst they were working on a patient. So Buck caught their attention and effectively made himself their punchbag for almost fifteen minutes until the LAPD got there. Eddie you need to get here now, they’re telling us we might need to say our goodbyes” Bobby finished as Eddie’s blood ran cold</p><p>”Your goodbyes?”</p><p>”He’s not in a good way Eddie. He was knocked out almost twenty minutes ago and he hasn’t come around since” Eddie felt like screaming, he had caused this. If he had found some sort of healthy coping mechanism, Buck would’ve just been going about his work, like normal. But ohhhh no because Eddie Diaz had anger issues, his best friend was lying in a hospital bed potentially to never wake up again. It was at that moment that he decided he was going to hand himself over to Athena as soon as he arrived at the hospital.</p><p>”Okay, I’m coming” Eddie said between the tears that had started to fall from his eyes</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Half an Hour later at LA General:</b>
</p><p>“Bobby! Any news?”</p><p>”He came round very briefly, however he’s now in surgery for his broken ribs”</p><p>”How many?”</p><p>”11”</p><p>”Buck. Has. Eleven. Broken. Ribs?” Eddie said, with a sob</p><p>”Yes, one punctured lung, flail chest, two broken arms and a dislocated shoulder too. They also think he has a concussion and that memory loss is possible” Bobby said, a look of guilt across his face “I should have done something Eddie. I just stood there and watched after I phoned Athena. I should’ve got an axe from the truck and defended him, or I should’ve tried to pull them off him when they pinned him down. But I was scared and... I just... I just froze” Bobby cried, his emotions finally breaking free</p><p>”Hey, it’s okay to be scared Cap”</p><p>”Yeah, but he wasn’t. He was willing to give his life for Hen and Chim. He walked willingly into a fight with five guys built like brick houses and he knew he was going to lose, but he was trying to buy them enough time to work. He’s so brave and I’m not - I failed him”</p><p>”No, I did Cap. None of you would’ve been there if it wasn’t for me” Eddie said, whilst his heart raced “I was fighting there and I broke they guy’s nose and I called it in and I fled when you turned up. If I’d made a few different decisions tonight, he’d have been sitting up in the station listing off random facts that nobody cares about and being happy. Instead....” his voice broke when he saw the look of horror that Bobby was shooting him “Where’s Athena Cap, I know what I have to do”</p><p>”You will not hand yourself in. Or at least not yet. Buck, he lives for you and Christopher. Hell, I’m not sure if I should say this, but he loves you, he’s in love with you and you owe it to him to be here when he wakes up, just as much as I do. Then you can absolve your conscience”</p><p>”Oh God” Eddie snivelled “What if he never wakes up”</p><p>”The Kid’s a fighter. A real and true fighter and he will wake up. But even if he doesn’t, you will go and see him and you will see the consequences of your choices” Bobby said, before walking over to the seats where Hen, Chim, Maddie and Athena were all sitting distraught </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Six hours later:</b>
  <b></b>
</p><p>“Are you the family of Mr Buckley?” A nurse asked, as she walked out of the operating department</p><p>“Yes, how is he?” Bobby immediately implored</p><p>“He has woken up from surgery, and he’ll probably be spending the next few weeks with us. But he’s out of the woods for now, if you want to see him. I have to ask though. What the hell happened? When he came round he was talking about chickens and chimneys”</p><p>”He saved us” Hen sobbed, thankfully now tears of joy rather than sadness “He willingly took a beating from five guys to protect us and a patient” She added after taking a minute to compose herself. “When he was talking about chickens and chimneys he was trying to ask if we were okay. My nickname is Hen and his” she said pointing to Chim “is Chimney”</p><p>”Can we go and see him now please?” Bobby immediately asked, as he, Maddie, Chim and Athena also stood </p><p>“Of course, this way” she said, “Bay seven ICU 2”</p><p>”You coming Eddie?” Maddie said as she set off towards the ICU</p><p>”Yeah, just give me a sec. I’ll be right behind you” he said, after the retreating frames of his co-workers.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>”Buck” Maddie cried, as she saw her brother lying in his hospital bed.</p><p>”Hey you” He replied, as he shifted into a better position so he could see everyone. The pained wince as he moved made the tears well up in Maddie’s eyes once more. “Sorry Cap, but I think I might have to take you up on that restricted duty offer for a while” he joked, although it fell flat with his crew mates.</p><p>”I’m so sorry Buck. I’m so sorry” Bobby whispered, as he sat at the side of the bed, his hand carding through the younger man’s still blood soaked hair</p><p>”Hey hey hey. None of that” Buck croaked “I love all of you and I would go for round two right here, right now if you were all in danger again”</p><p>”But, I could’ve done something. I could’ve taken an axe from the truck and defended you, I could’ve done any number of things and I just froze... I was scared, but that’s no excuse. You were able to run into that and I should’ve been willing to risk myself for you in the same way you did for me. So Kid, I am so sorry” Bobby cried, forehead resting on the rail at the side of the bed.</p><p>”Bobby, I didn’t want you to get involved. I didn’t want you getting hurt and I didn’t want you having to deliberately kill someone for the first time. I don’t want you to ever have to know what that feels like so I, for one, am glad you didn’t get involved” Buck said as he held his pseudo father’s hand in a vice like grip “I didn’t have a present or loving father Bobby. I was always the kid who’s parents never turned up for games or events or performances. I had Maddie who helped with that, but that was a replacement no matter how much I wanted it to be. I craved any bit of attention or love I got from him, but with you. You are like the father I always wanted to have Bobby. And I wouldn’t really care if my biological dad got the crap beaten out of him. But you, if they hurt one hair on your head, I’d never forgive myself. So I am glad you didn’t get into a fight with them and I am glad you do not have to go through the trauma that accompanies taking a human life”</p><p>There was a beat of silence in the room, before Hen and Chim descended on him. Offering light hugs and whispering their thanks into his ear, before Buck just turned around and said “Everyone, you’re my family. I would do anything to keep you safe and I don’t care about the consequences for me, provided the people I love are okay”</p><p>”Buck, you matter too” Maddie immediately said, worriedly</p><p>”I know, I’ve not got a death wish. But you are all the most important people in my life and I would do anything to protect you. I just want you to know that”</p><p>A nurse then came along to evict everyone from the room and the team offered their goodbyes to Buck before leaving. When they reached the waiting room they found a distraught Eddie waiting for them.</p><p>”Athena. Can we talk somewhere private” He sobbed</p><p>”Eddie, what’s wrong”</p><p>”Me! I’m what’s wrong. Buck would be at home, safely in his bed if it weren’t for me. So I want to hand myself in for being part of an illegal street fighting club and for breaking the original patient’s nose and causing the cranial bleed”</p><p>”I’m not going to let you do that”</p><p>”But I caused Buck’s injuries Athena!”</p><p>”There’s a lot of I’s in there Eddie. So let me lay this out plain and simple for you. If you were not a single dad, I would be walking you out to the squad car right now. I would be writing up a report and I would be throwing you into a cell to be dealt with like the idiot you are. But because Chris does not deserve the consequences of that, I’m going to let you walk free. On the condition that you see Buck tomorrow and you tell him what you did and you apologise to him. And on the conditions that you never set foot inside that club again and that you go to therapy. Cause you could have killed two people today. Do I make myself sufficiently clear?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Two Months later:</b>
</p><p>Buck was in the locker room at the station when Bobby walked in “Hey Kid. I just wanted to say to you that I was glad to have you back on calls today, we all missed you and it was nice to have you back. And I wanted to let you know that you’re going to be getting a Medal of Valour at the LAFD awards this year, I put you up for it but didn’t want to tell you until it was all sorted out. You deserve it, what you did was probably the bravest thing I’ve ever seen anyone do and I am flattered that you consider us worthy of such a sacrifice Buck” Bobby said, pulling the younger man into a bone crushing hug</p><p>”Oh Bobby, you didn’t need to do that. Thank you, but I didn’t do it for a medal and I certainly didn’t expect one afterwards”</p><p>”Well, you deserved one and that’s final. What you did for us Buck, I am beyond thankful for it and I will never be able to repay you. But I hope that at least this will show you just how much of a hero you really are Kid”</p><p>”Thanks Cap” Buck said, as he fished his combats out of his locker, putting them on and ensuring he met with uniform standards</p><p>“Oh, I forgot tonight’s your parade night. Go, don’t be late” he chuckled, pushing Buck lightly towards the door</p><p>”My last one as the commander of team 17”</p><p>”You’re leaving the reserves?”</p><p>”No Cap. I actually wanted to ask you about this. I’m going to be getting promoted to Captain and will be taking over Special Warfare Group 11. Which Effectively puts makes me commander of all reserve SEAL forces. And I would be honoured if you would come to the ceremony next week and pin my promotion”</p><p>”Buck... I don’t know what to say. I would be honoured to be there for that, I really would” The older man replied, hugging his pseudo son once more “I’m proud of you kid”</p><p>”Hey, I’m in uniform. That’s I’m proud of you <em>sir. </em>But I think I’ll let you away with it”</p><p>”You will let me away with it, otherwise I will have a very shiny fire truck after I make you spend a whole 24 hour shift polishing it”</p><p>”You wouldn’t...”</p><p>”You really wanna test that Kid” Bobby joked</p><p>”Oh I see how this is old man” Buck replied, before lifting everything else out of his locker and making for the door “By the way, my command - it’s just under 100 men. You asked just before the attack” He added, looking back to see the shocked look on Bobby’s face, before quickly exiting the locker room. He lightly chuckled to himself at the chaotic happiness of the family he had chosen and realised, yet again, just how much he loves them all.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Cagney and Lacey</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Buck and Eddie have been undercover FBI agents investigating the LAFD for several years now. What happens when a death and a federal arrest warrant call them into action?...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Hey, look at that gate guys - I think you could get a good print off of that” Buck said, initiating his and Eddie’s competition for who could say the dumbest thing at a murder scene and get away with it - apparently when you’ve been special forces soldiers turned FBI officers for as long as they have, your sense of humour turns slightly twisted.</p><p>”Yeah, only problem is I put it there when I kicked the gate down to get in” Athena replied, irritated by Buck’s apparent stupidity.</p><p>”If everything was locked when we got here, how did the murderer get in or out?” Eddie asked</p><p>”The locked room mystery” His partner replied dramatically</p><p>”The locked yard mystery!” Eddie corrected victoriously, knowing that nothing Buck said could top that “What do you think, home invasion gone wrong or murder for hire?”</p><p>”Was she married? Cause you know the husband is usually the culprit” </p><p>“Are we making a true crime podcast or something here?” Athena interrupted, finally getting annoyed by the pair</p><p>”Hey, you know none of this mail’s addressed to Delia Narwood? Not even the right address...” Eddie said suddenly</p><p>”So she was stealing people’s mail? Maybe she saw something she wasn’t supposed to and it got her killed” Buck said with a dramatic flourish, claiming victory over his husband and work partner</p><p>”Okay, Cagney and Lacey... I think your work here is done” Athena said, finally getting on board with their dark humour. Before the team went out to the truck.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Buck, did you see those letters in that house?”</p><p>”Yeah, what about em...”</p><p>”I saw one addressed to Jeanine Crowder - you know the lady we all got a circular about? And it had an address...”</p><p>”Let’s call it in. Head out as soon as we get off shift and ask some questions - can’t let someone like her slip through the net <em>again”</em></p><p>“Can’t let who slip through the net?” Hen said, sidling up beside them</p><p>“Ohh, hmm Ana Flores. Mr Diaz’s latest love interest who he is pining after and who I think he should ask out before it’s too late”</p><p>”Nagh, don’t bother - she still has heart eyes for Lena” Hen replied, tapping her nose</p><p>“Ohh, it’s an LAFD love triangle” Buck said, smirking as Eddie glowered back at him “tell me I’m wrong” He challenged, and much to Hen’s amusement Eddie went bright pink in the face.</p><p>”You’re a menace Buckley”</p><p>”You love me really”</p><p>Eddie waited until Hen was just out of earshot and had her back turned, before pressing a light kiss to Buck’s lips and replying “Don’t you know it babe”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Buck parked his unmarked Jeep on the pavement in front of the Ambrose house, before he and Eddie hopped out. Fishing out the police shields they had taken from the field office and were intending on using rather than their FBI ones to avoid spooking the suspect. “Do you want to be good cop or bad cop” He joked, knowing full well that Eddie always loved to play the pernickety and overbearing one whilst Buck always got lumbered with playing dumb *sighs*.</p><p>”Is that actually a question detective Buckley?” Eddie joked, watching as Buck glared back at him before making his way to the front door. Eddie behind him.</p><p>*knock knock*</p><p>”Hello, can I help you boys?”</p><p>”Hi Mrs Ambrose. We’re detectives Buckley and Diaz from the LAPD criminal investigations division. We’re investigating Delia Narwood’s death, would you mind answering a few questions for us?” Buck said, as he held up his badge</p><p>”Of course, what do you want to know”</p><p>”Well, first could we start with an... uhhmmm procedural matter” Eddie said stiffly “We’ll need to see your passport or another form of photographic ID to ensure it is you we’re talking to”</p><p>”Come on Diaz. Lighten up, we can get all that later, we’re just working on building up a picture. Anyway, it’s statistically most likely that no one here will even be able to help us” Buck bumbled out, before he and Eddie began questioning Rita Ambrose and her husband. They left soon after, but what they were not expecting was for Athena and Detective Romero to come and ask the exact same questions a mere hour later.</p><p><br/>Once they were out to the car, Eddie turned to Buck “you get the photos?”</p><p>”Of course”</p><p>”And you think it’s her” he said, a smirk appearing across his face</p><p>”Oh it’s definitely her. I think we file a report and fulfil the warrant tomorrow”</p><p>”Okay. I look forward to it partner” Eddie said, as he shook Buck’s hand. Before planting a kiss on his cheek</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Next day at the station:</b>
</p><p>“Buckley! Diaz! I need to speak to you two...” Athena shouted, as she walked in the bay doors. She swiftly saw the two men walking towards her and pulled no punches. “I know you thought your starsky and hutch routine was funny at that crime scene yesterday, and I’ll give that - it was. But I draw the line at impersonating police officers and questioning MY SUSPECTS!”</p><p>”Athena, we didn’t do that. We wouldn’t do that” Eddie replied, probing for information</p><p>”Well, I’ve got a description of a tall blond haired man with a birthmark who called himself Detective Buckley and of a slightly shorter Latino man with a short temper who called himself Detective Diaz. So you’re gonna have to come to the station and answer a few questions. Am I gonna need cuffs?”</p><p>”No Thena” Buck replied dejectedly, walking out with her and Eddie by his side. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><br/>“Boys, I didn’t want to create a scene in there. But YOU CANNOT DO THAT!” Athena started shouting at them as she put the pair into the backseat of her car.</p><p>”Athena, please don’t be annoyed with us for this. We’re both FBI agents and there was a federal arrest warrant put out for a woman called Jeanine Crowder who matches Rita Ambrose’s description exactly. We’re intending on executing the warrant this afternoon and then handing her over to the USMS” Buck spoke calmly, as he slowly reached for the identification card nestled behind his drivers licence in his wallet.</p><p>”Now could you take us back to the station, keep us there an hour or two and then let us go please. She’s now gonna think something’s up” Eddie added</p><p>”What’d she do”</p><p>”Nothing that really serious, but she crossed state lines so it suddenly became a federal issue”</p><p>”Don’t listen to him, she’s wanted on seven counts of bigamy alone - he’s just desensitised from his time in the BAU and special forces” Buck added with a smirk</p><p>”And you aren’t?”</p><p>”I’m less desensitised”</p><p>”Wait, you were special forces? Both of you?”</p><p>”Demolitions expert in the Navy SEALs for four years” Buck said proudly</p><p>”Medic in the Green berets for the same time” His husband added “we met in our FBI training and have been partners ever since”</p><p>”Partners?”</p><p>”Husbands and work partners”</p><p>*silence* “Wait, WHAT!”</p><p>”We married a year after we graduated from the academy.  But we’ve worked together since day one” Eddie said, giving Buck some serious heart eyes.</p><p>”Oh my goodness - you know Hen was distraught when she thought you were pining after Ana”</p><p>”Trust me, I have never been pining for Ana. Never even liked her - she just came on a bit too strong for my liking. You know she was our kid’s teacher at the time!”</p><p>”Many eyebrows were raised when that was first mentioned Diaz”</p><p>”That’s Buckley-Diaz to you” they both said simultaneously</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Three hours later:</b>
</p><p>*Bang Bang Bang* “MRS CROWLER! OPEN UP, WE HAVE A WARRANT!” Buck was standing in his tac vest, gun holstered to his hip and banging on the door, with Eddie standing right behind him - gun drawn. “FBI! AND US MARSHALS! WE WILL BREAK DOWN THE DOOR!” He shouted, one final time before signalling for the battering ram to be brought forward.</p><p>Athena was standing in the background when all hell broke loose - an upstairs window was opened and a shot was fired from it, causing one of the Marshals to fall - injured.</p><p>”BUST THE DOOR!” Eddie shouted, seconds before the sound of splintering wood filled the air and the two FBI agents and remaining seven USMS officers ran in. Moments later Buck and Eddie came out with the woman Athena once thought to be Rita Ambrose held by each arm and passed her over to the waiting Marshals, who would take her into custody. The pair, both being qualified EMTs then ran over to the downed Marshal and started working on him until the ambulance arrived.</p><p> </p><p>Athena say them driving in first - the Ambulance and Truck belonging to the 118 and she immediately went to them. “Bobby, I just want to warn you - Buck and Eddie are here and you’re going to get a bit of a surprise”</p><p>”What?”</p><p>”You’ll see. Just don’t be too annoyed with them” she replied, before taking her husband and his crew over to the downed marshal on whom Buck was currently performing CPR - having just swapped out with Eddie. The paramedics walked up from behind their two colleagues, so could only see the FBI acronym written across the back of their vests, Hen was the first to speak.</p><p>”Thank you agents, but we have it from here” she said, barging in beside Buck and shouting in surprise “Buck, Eddie. What’re you doing here?”</p><p>”Our jobs?” Eddie shrugged before adding “we’ll talk about it later” and walking away.</p><p>”Buckley! Diaz! Get over here!” Bobby then shouted “What’re you doing here?”</p><p>”Executing a federal warrant” Buck replied, handing over his badge</p><p>”Remember when I saw the mail on the day that lady died? One of the names on it rang a bell with me and I checked it out - there’s a warrant against her so we sought authorisation to carry it out and then proceeded to do our thing”</p><p>”so the Starsky and Hutch act was just to throw us off?”</p><p>”No, that’s just our messed up sense of humour - special forces does that to you” Eddie laughed, leaning against Buck</p><p>”Okay... now I’m confused”</p><p>”I was a SEAL and Mr war hero over here was a green beret. You’re pretty much guaranteed to become at least a little crazy if you do special ops” Buck said, shoulder bumping his husband</p><p>”Yeah, really goes with the territory”</p><p>”I just need to check this - you’re both qualified firefighters, yes?”</p><p>”Oh, yeah... don’t worry about that Cap. We did the academy” Buck immediately replied</p><p>”And why, may I ask are two FBI officers operating out of my fire station?”</p><p>”Classified - but you’re fine, we aren’t after anyone in the station. When the time eventually comes to move on, I’ll actually miss it here - I enjoy being a firefighter. But then again I enjoy being a fed too” Buck said, with a wicked smirk</p><p>”And where he goes, I go” Eddie included. Before the pair went off to their car</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Back at the station:</b>
</p><p>“I have to ask boys - do you have any ideas for who may have killed Delia Narwood?”</p><p>”Oh, I meant to talk to you about that. We had a breakthrough last night when questioning Crowler - Delia was killed with her gun, which she had stolen a week or so previously. Crowler then went on to say that she had stolen the gun out of the yard through a gap in the hedge after hearing it go off, cause she knew how it looked. The report’s been sent to LAPD CID they should get it soon” Buck said happily.</p><p>”You believe that?”</p><p>”You know the broken fingernail?”</p><p>”Yeah?”</p><p>”Jammed into the firing mechanism of the gun. Death by misadventure” Eddie finished, slapping his knees as he got up</p><p>”Cagney and Lacey one - Athena and Romero nil” Buck added smirking at the sergeant as he too got up.</p><p>Athena just looked at the duo awestruck, before chuckling to herself. ‘What did I do to get this crazy family’ she thought.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Meet the parents</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The Buckley parents call by the fire station and divulge a lot of things about Buck’s past that he would rather stayed secret.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“He always was a problem kid - we made him join everything from the JROTC to these summer camps for troubled children, but nothing would change him. He just had this constant need for our attention. It was never ending” Margaret moaned, as the rest of the 118 sat listening, uneasily</p><p>”Anyway, then one day. He came home and do you know what he told us? He told us he was joining the Navy. Well I’ve never laughed as much in my life. He wasn’t cut out for something like that - then I got an email from him two years later saying he was embarking on SEAL training and I saw it for what it was. Just some whole big lie that he concocted to get our attention. Sad really” Phillip added</p><p>”He does a hard emotionally and physically demanding job now though?” Eddie said, trying to defend his friend</p><p>”Yeah, but I mean he’s not really cut out for this either - sure he was probably a diversity hire anyway cause of the whole bisexual thing. Another cry for our attention no doubt. And, you do know he’s talking to a therapist because he can't handle it?” Margaret sneered, as if the word therapist was the worst curse she could come up with.</p><p>”I’m in fucking therapy cause you made me feel like my very existence was a burden! I am in therapy because of you, not this job and you also know for a fact that I was in the Navy and you know for a fact that I was in the SEALs - you know because you received invitations to both of my passing out parades and you didn’t bother coming. You actually RSVP’d to say you were too busy. You know I was the only one there who when the families were invited up to see their loved ones for the first time in months... I was the only one who just had to stand there in silence until the parade was dismissed, right?” Buck shouted, a mask of fury covering his normally happy face. “I've gone through literal hell to make you show one slither of pride in me, but I have never been good enough for you. Never - even successfully joining the most elite fighting force in the world was not enough for you to love me or to even look at me without an expression of blatant disappointment!" He roared, as he marched towards the table where his parents were holding court.</p><p>"Evan, calm down and stop embarrassing yourself!" his mother chided, treating him like a five year old</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>15 minutes earlier:</b>
</p><p>"So this is where he works?" Margaret muttered to her husband as they marched through the bay doors of the firehouse</p><p>”I’ll admit, I wasn’t expecting much but this is worse than even my worst nightmare. What sort of a person has so few skills that they have to risk their life for a paycheque”</p><p>”Mr and Mrs Buckley” Chim said, walking over to them. His smile hiding his true feelings towards the couple “nice to see you again”</p><p>”You too Herman”</p><p>”Howard” He corrected, before adding “are you looking for Buck? Cause he’s just out on a call at the minute”</p><p>”Solo?”</p><p>”Yeah, some kid got trapped in an arcade grabber machine on the pier and he had just finished his jobs so he volunteered to go”</p><p>”right”</p><p>”Do you want to come up and wait for him... meet the rest of the crew too?”</p><p>”Ohh, uhh yes sure Henley”</p><p>”<em>Howard”</em></p><p>“Sorry, Howard” Margaret repeated as if the name left a bad taste on her tongue</p><p>”CAP! WE’VE GOT VISITORS!”</p><p>”Bring em on up! I’ve almost got lunch ready - we can start when Buck gets back!”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Hello, you must be Mr and Mrs Buckley. I’m Bobby, Buck’s captain. This is Hen one of our paramedics and Chimney’s partner and then Eddie, Buck’s partner is knocking about somewhere. I think he’s on the phone - his son was a the doctors today” Bobby said, as he listed of the core team</p><p>”It’s lovely to meet you all. We’re so thankful some people decided to look after Evan - he always was problematic and I know it can’t be easy” Margaret replied, as she sat down with the rest of the group</p><p>”Huh? Buck’s my best firefighter ma’am - he’s done more additional training and has more practical experience with heavy rescue than anyone else on the crew. We’d really be lost without him”</p><p>”Whatever you tell yourself to justify it” She muttered, still with a superior look on her face</p><p>”Anyway, does this whole thing pay well?”</p><p>”Pays enough to fund medical care for a kid with CP on otherwise minimal VA health insurance” Eddie said, walking into the loft with a pep in his step</p><p>“Take it Chris’s appointment went well?” Hen replied</p><p>”Yeah, Carla just phoned - no need for another surgery”</p><p>”That’s great Eddie. He’s so brave with it all, but I could tell he didn’t want to be in hospital again” Bobby added, giving the firefighter a hug</p><p>”I take it you’re Evan’s handler then” Phillip asked, however, he trailed off when the joke fell flat</p><p>”Yeah, Buck’s my partner - he helped me a lot when I first got here. Being an ex medic in the army I had a good knowledge of some things but on the more practical side of the job, such as knowing on instinct where to avoid stepping in a burning building - that only comes with experience - something I didn’t have but he has in spades” He responded - already knowing how much Buck’s parents disliked their son.</p><p>“Yes, well even the most hopeless case can pick up the odd thing I suppose” Margaret dismissed.</p><p>”What was Buck like as a kid” Hen asked, trying to defuse the tension - cause after all what parent doesn’t want to talk about their kid?</p><p>“He always was a problem kid - we made him join everything from the JROTC to these summer camps for troubled children, but nothing would change him. He just had this constant need for our attention. It was never ending” Margaret moaned, as the rest of the 118 sat listening, uneasily</p><p>”Anyway, then one day. He came home and do you know what he told us? He told us he was joining the Navy. Well I’ve never laughed as much in my life. He wasn’t cut out for something like that - then I got an email from him two years later saying he was embarking on SEAL training and I saw it for what it was. Just some whole big lie that he concocted to get our attention. Sad really” Phillip added</p><p>”He does a hard emotionally and physically demanding job now though?” Eddie said, trying to defend his friend</p><p>”Yeah, but I mean he’s not really cut out for this either - sure he was probably a diversity hire anyway cause of the whole bisexual thing. Another cry for our attention no doubt. And, you do know he’s talking to a therapist because he can't handle it?” Margaret sneered, as if the word therapist was the worst curse she could come up with.</p><p>”I’m in fucking therapy cause you made me feel like my very existence was a burden! I am in therapy because of you, not this job and you also know for a fact that I was in the Navy and you know for a fact that I was in the SEALs - you know because you received invitations to both of my passing out parades and you didn’t bother coming. You actually RSVP’d to say you were too busy. You know I was the only one there who when the families were invited up to see their loved ones for the first time in months... I was the only one who just had to stand there in silence until the parade was dismissed, right?” Buck shouted, a mask of fury covering his normally happy face. “I've gone through literal hell to make you show one slither of pride in me, but I have never been good enough for you. Never - even successfully joining the most elite fighting force in the world was not enough for you to love me or to even look at me without an expression of blatant disappointment!" He roared, as he marched towards the table where his parents were holding court.</p><p>"Evan, calm down and stop embarrassing yourself!" his mother chided, treating him like a five year old</p><p>”I’ll calm down when you stop dismissing every achievement I have made in my life as a cry for your fucking attention! I used to crave any scrap you would throw my way and trust me, there is still a small part of me that would love to know what it is like to be loved or wanted by my parents, but I long ago chose to ignore it. I joined the Navy actually because I enjoyed the JROTC - I know it was meant to be a punishment, but I liked it so when I was eighteen and just wanted to get out of your fucking sphere of influence, I went down to the recruiting office and I enlisted and I will never regret that. The SEALs was something I was recommended for and I grasped the opportunity I was given and didn’t think twice about you - hell by that point I knew you wouldn’t even be there for me if I passed my training so why would I fucking bother doing it to get your attention. I did it cause I wanted to! As for firefighting, it just fitted after the SEALs - I didn’t want to go into law enforcement, mostly because I do not agree with the shoot first question later policy so many officers adopt. So the LAFD was the perfect option - I do not see why you have to try to come in like a whirlwind with your whole worried parents act when I know damn well you don’t give a flying fuck what I do with my life. Hell, I bet you’d have preferred me dying in action - you’d have got to play the bereaved parents card and get all the attention that comes with it!”</p><p>”I just think that you’re trying to do a job you were never set out to do and that you’re burdening the poor first responders at this station who are having to do a dangerous job and look after you! They seem like nice people so I doubt they’d ever say it to your face, but you know how you are - so demanding of attention, throughout your entire childhood you never gave us a minute. It was exhausting and when firefighters are exhausted they make mistakes Evan - you wouldn’t want that, would you? People getting hurt because of how distracted your pining for attention makes them? You never made it easy for us, but they’re not your family - they shouldn’t have to put up with it” Margaret said, a weird combination of fury and mock concern on her face - a combination Buck knew all too well.</p><p>There was a beat of silence... “GET OUT OF MY STATION!” Bobby snarled, his uncharacteristic fury shocking everyone “GET OUT OF MY STATION AND DON’T EVER THINK ABOUT COMING BACK!”</p><p>”Fine, we’re going. But give what we said some thought - we understand how demanding...”</p><p>”GET OUT!” Bobby bellowed this time. Yet again surprising everyone with the way he was going into full protective father mode. The Buckley’s swiftly turned and left after this, leaving a shell shocked 118, a distraught Buck and an enraged Bobby in their wake.</p><p>”That was... intense” Hen muttered, still shocked by how horrible Buck’s parents had been</p><p>”Hey kid, look at me” Bobby said as he sat down in front of Buck “You know all the things they said... they were utter crap. You are not a burden, you are not attention seeking and you are not going to cause anyone here to get hurt. Hell, I think we all have owed our lives to you at some point. I know I have”</p><p>”I’m not too much?”</p><p>”No Buck. The only thing you have an excess of is kindness and trust me, that’s not a bad thing” Hen whispered, as she pulled him into a hug</p><p>”Have they been like that your whole life?” Eddie questioned</p><p>”Probably, the first time I think I recognised it was my fifth birthday - I went down the stairs that morning and there was nothing for me. No presents, no card, no cake - they didn’t even say happy birthday to me. When I asked about it they said they were too busy to worry about something so insignificant”</p><p>”Oh God”</p><p>”Yeah, I got used to it over the years. But then it moved on to other things - I was captain of my school’s debate team and president of the society. We got into the final of a national competition and they didn’t bother to attend - it was a big deal you know, the Secretary of State was giving out the award to the winning team and they instead went on holiday to Hawaii for a month. They don’t even like the sun, it was just the cheapest holiday they could get so they had an excuse not to go”</p><p>”Fuck” Eddie replied this time, a look of horror on his face</p><p>”Then, when I joined the Navy, the only person who came was my then boyfriend Jeremy and when I joined the SEALs we’d broken up so I had absolutely no one Again they were too busy to see one of the proudest moments of my life. They didn’t even bother coming to see my in hospital when I got injured in action, didn’t get so much as a get well soon card”</p><p>”And I thought my parents were bad” Chim said with a whistle</p><p>”Yeah, well I now know why they were like that. Maddie told me about a week ago that I had a brother who died before I was born. I guess I was meant to be his replacement and when I dared to be different to him they lost interest and I may as well have been dead too”</p><p>”God Buck... was that why you went into a fit of rage at the punch bag?”</p><p>”Maybe” He agreed with a shrug “sorry if I worried you. It’s really nothing, I never even knew him”</p><p>”It is not nothing Buck. You have been lied to your entire life, that is definitely something” Bobby interjected, anger still lacing his tone. “And as for them not loving you cause you weren’t like your brother - that’s no excuse. I lost my two kids but I still love May and Harry even though they’re different. I love them cause I see who they are and I couldn’t be more proud of them. Just like I couldn’t be more proud of you Buck” He added, pulling the younger man into a tight hug. “Despite all of the challenges you had growing up, you have the biggest heart of anyone I know and if anybody in this world deserves to be loved it is you”</p><p>Buck just sobbed silently into the hug. Feeling emotionally exhausted from his encounter with his parents and wanting nothing more to stay curled up forever against the man who was more of a father to him than anyone had ever been. But, he forced himself up, knowing that despite what they said, he was going to have to go on with his life regardless. He got up, dried his eyes and put his game face on. He was not going to let him destroy his adulthood just as they had destroyed his childhood...</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. I worry about him</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>5 times Eddie is scared about something happening to Buck, and the one time Buck is scared about something happening to Eddie</p><p>Married Buddie, Navy SEAL turned LAPD SWAT sergeant Buck. Obviously still a firefighter Eddie.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>1</strong>
</p><p>”SARGE! There’s a call for you in the Cap’s office!”</p><p>”You know what it’s about Thompson?!” Eddie hollered back, receiving a shrug. He then immediately sprinted to the office, intrigued.</p><p> </p><p>”Maybe you want to sit down for this Staff Sergeant” His captain said softly, handing over the phone. Eddie took her advice before raising the receiver to his ear.</p><p>”Hello?”</p><p>”Hey Eds” a voice, unmistakably Buck’s, croaked from the other end</p><p>”Oh my God Evan. Are you okay?!”</p><p>”I may have broken both my legs and an arm and have a grade two concussion and a bullet wound in my shoulder” Buck groaned</p><p>”How the fuck!?...”</p><p>”I was fast roping into a compound and a sniper decided to try and shoot me. Caught me in the shoulder and I dropped the rope. Fell 12 feet and landed badly”</p><p>”Only you” Eddie sighed, glad his fiancé was safe</p><p>“Am I not gonna get any sympathy?”</p><p>”No” Eddie declared, in mock bluntness. Chuckling to himself as he heard an aggrieved whimper on the other end of the line “please tell me the guy who shot you’s dead”</p><p>”He took seventeen rounds to the chest overall. I think he’s dead” Buck said nonchalantly, causing Eddie’s eyes to widen in shock - still, he could imagine putting one hundred and seventeen rounds into the chest of anyone who hurt the man he loved.</p><p>”You SEALs are barbarians” He concluded, listening intently to the light chuckle on the other end of the line</p><p>”Tell me something I don’t know”</p><p>”Okay. Here’s something you don’t know. Captain Walters has just slipped a leave of absence form to me, alongside a boarding pass for the next flight out to Al Tanif, so I’ll be seeing you tomorrow morning”</p><p>”You don’t need t....”</p><p>”You finish that Buckley and you’ll regret it. I am coming to see you and coddle you in front of all your SEAL buddies and I’m not taking no for an answer”</p><p>”Okay then. I look forward to it babe. Love you”</p><p>”Love you too Buck, see you tomorrow” Eddie sighed, hanging up the call </p><p> </p><p>“You’re worried about him still aren’t you?” Walters stated looking at her subordinate</p><p>”I’m always worried about him, but yeah. I just, I’m so scared I’m gonna lose him” Eddie whispered, a single tear streaking his cheek</p><p>”Hey, it’s okay, he’s okay. And you’ll see him tomorrow all being well. You’ve both come through worse - I swear, when you got your silver star I thought he was going to wear a hole in the hospital floor. You love each other and you always give each other someone to fight for. Now tell me, how’s your boy doing?” She asked - the captain normally avoided conversations of this nature with her subordinates, but decided to make an exception in this case.</p><p>”He’s good. He got his last surgery a month ago, so we’re out of the woods for now. At least there’ll be no more bills for a while, Evan’ll finally be able to leave and join the LAPD SWATs like he was talking about”</p><p>”Oh, he’s leaving the SEALs?”</p><p>”Yeah, we both want to be with Chris and his contract was up last year but he stayed on a while longer cause we needed the money for his surgeries”</p><p>”And how about you, are you staying on in the army then?”</p><p>”No ma’am, I’m going to leave when my contract’s up in a year’s time and apply for the LAFD academy - become a paramedic”</p><p>”We’ll miss you Diaz, but leave it with me - your contract might manage to finish in nine months with the end of this tour rather than 12”</p><p>”You don’t need to do that ma’am”</p><p>”No, but I want to - you’re a family that has had so many struggles, between both or your numerous injuries, Shannon’s death last year, her leaving three years before that and Christopher’s surgeries - I think he deserves his Dad and Step-Dad to be with him, don’t you?”</p><p>”Thank you ma’am”</p><p>”Now go see your man Diaz, dismissed”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>2</b>
</p><p>“Hello, is this Edmundo Diaz?” Eddie heard, lifting his phone which had been incessantly ringing all morning</p><p>”Yes, it is” </p><p>“And you’re Sergeant Evan Buckley’s partner?”</p><p>”Yes I am”</p><p>”I’m nurse Simpson from the LA Medical Centre - your partner had an accident during a training session this afternoon. He’s currently going in for surgery”</p><p>”SURGERY!”</p><p>”Yes, he fell down a flight of stairs and fractured his leg in two places - it’s not overly serious, but we will want to keep him overnight and he’ll be in desk duty for a while”</p><p>”Dios mio” Eddie muttered, picking up his keys and a jacket - it was only a week since he’d got his discharge</p><p>”You don’t need to worry, he’ll be fine. Honestly”</p><p>”Yeah, that’s not going to stop me worrying. I’m on my way in now”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>”Evan Buckley - I am going to kill you”</p><p>”Nice to see you too babe”</p><p>”I was so worried when they phoned, what happened?” Eddie asked, sitting down at Buck’s bedside and caressing his cheek</p><p>”The stairs were those cheap metal ones that they put up on the outside of building’s where the entrance isn’t on the ground floor, and a bolt came undone - the whole thing fell backwards”</p><p>”And how come you’re the only one injured?”</p><p>”I was the only one still on the stairs, everyone else had already gone in - I was instructing, not training”</p><p>”Only you, mi cariño, only you. You know I was so worried about you?”</p><p>”Trust me, I realised - but I’m fine Eds, promise” Eddie sighed in defeat when Buck finished the statement by patting the edge of his bed. The older man climbed in and held him close, slowly feeling his anxiety slip away</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>3<br/>
</b>
  <b></b>
</p><p>Buck had, by some miracle, kept himself safe for a while - allowing Eddie to go through the academy with neither illness nor injury to worry him. He had been there when Eddie graduated top of his class and got his pick of stations, eventually choosing the 118 on account of its proximity to his and Buck’s home. They had married seven months after Buck’s accident with the stairs and were happy, Eddie constantly looking down at the black gold ring on his finger in awe, even one year on. Then, the 118 were called out to provide medical backup on a SWAT call and Eddie’s world threatened to crumble once more.</p><p>The truck wound it’s way into the small residential street, parking up behind the three SWAT vehicles that were already on scene - and Eddie’s heart twisted in fear when he saw the truck emblazoned ‘2 Squad’ front and centre, Buck’s truck, his husband’s truck. He was snapped out of his stupor by Bobby calling them over for a briefing. Apparently an aggrieved father who had been denied visiting rights with his children had broken into his ex wife’s house and taken the family hostage at gunpoint and was refusing to negotiate - leaving the LAPD no choice other than to deploy the metro division. As the briefing ended, he saw Buck talking with his team - who would apparently be doing the most dangerous part of the op, a direct assault through the front door as a diversion to let the other two teams get in through the skylight and back door. Eddie yet again felt his heart in his mouth as he saw the man he loved gearing up to go into such a hostile situation. He knew it was against protocol, but he changed his radio over to the LAPD channel so he could listen in and make sure Buck was okay.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>5 minutes later</em>
</p><p>The unmistakeable sound of a gunshot rang through the air and everything momentarily froze, before all hell broke loose - LAPD officers withdrawing their weapons, the firefighters ducking for cover behind the ambulance, all bar Eddie who just stood there rooted to the spot as he heard three shots echo in return before the words he always dreaded hearing sounded across his radio.</p><p>”Target neutralised, but Alpha two is down. Repeat Squad two are an officer down”</p><p>Eddie sank to his knees at that - he knew Buck’s callsign was Alpha 2, being the most senior member of 2 squad. Moments later he felt his captain’s strong arms pull him up, and he turned around to see the man looking on at him with pity and understanding in his eyes.</p><p>”Its never easy Diaz, but right now we need to be there for him. Then, when the ambulance doors close you can let it all out”</p><p>”Wait, you know?”</p><p>”I had Athena run your name when you joined the station, and I’ve seen your ring - if your interested Athena has a very high opinion of him. She knew him before we knew you, described Buck as one of the good guys - which is not something she says often”</p><p>”Thanks cap” Eddie replied, rubbing at his eyes before grabbing the gurney and rushing into the house</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>At the hospital</em>
</p><p>“So when were you going to tell us you were married Diaz?” Hen asked as soon as they sat in the waiting room</p><p>”I promise I was going to - we were just busy and then with Chris’s appointments we have so little time to ourselves that we just hadn’t got round to it”</p><p>Chim wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, causing the rest of the crew to fall into fits of laughter</p><p>”Howard Han, get your mind out of the gutter!”</p><p>”Sorry, couldn’t resist. Anyway, how did you two meet?”</p><p>”We were seated together on a military transport into Bagram in 2013, my wife had just left me his long term girlfriend had decided she couldn’t take the nightmares anymore and broke up with him at the airport doors. We hit it off and eventually got together”</p><p>”Oh, so Evan was in the army too? Athena didn’t say anything” Bobby asked</p><p>”Nah, he was in DEVGRU - it would have been redacted from his file”</p><p>”Huh?”</p><p>”Seal team six. He joined them about a year and a half after we met, before that he was on team one”</p><p>”Seriously?”</p><p>”Yeah - he was with them until he left the navy two years ago”</p><p>”Explains why he got into the SWATs so easily then. It’s nice to see you’re happy Diaz, we were all worried about you at the start”</p><p>”I’m just about as happy as any man can be. Although I’ll be a lot happier when the love of my life is out of the operating room”</p><p>”Hey, he’ll be fine” Hen reassured</p><p>”I know, but I still worry - everyday he goes out into the word with a target on his back and I’m always terrified he won’t come home, but at the same time I know he wouldn’t be Evan if he didn’t help people”</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>4</b>
</p><p>This time, Buck’s accident had nothing to do with work - he and Eddie were out for a drive at the end of their date night when it happened. Buck’s jeep got T-boned by a bus as it took the scenic route by the sea at the Santa Monica pier. One moment they were talking about their plans to adapt a skateboard for Chris and the next Eddie’s head felt all woozy and he turned to see his husband lying unconscious a bloody gash in his head.</p><p>Moments later an ambulance and fire truck pulled up - clearly having been called by some of the people in the bus, and he saw a face that was unmistakably Bobby’s going ashen as he looked through the window of the car. Then he blacked out once more.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>At the hospital:</em>
</p><p>Eddie woke up with a start, looking around at the pristine clinically white walls of his room and seeing Evan in the bed at his side - still clearly unconscious. For the first time that night, he felt a white hot tear burning a trail down his cheek as he looked at the limp form of his husband lying in the bed next to him. He didn’t stop crying until he felt a firm hand on his shoulder, causing him to turn around and see Athena and Bobby.</p><p>”What injuries does he have?” Eddie demanded</p><p>”A really nasty concussion, two broken ribs and a broken arm - he seriously has the luck of the devil” Athena declared, before sitting next to her pseudo-son and carding her fingers through his hair “He’ll pull through Eddie, I promise”</p><p>”Yeah, his doctors have already said that he could come round at any time now” Bobby agreed, sitting on the other side of Eddie’s bed.</p><p> </p><p>Four minutes and eight seconds later, Evan Diaz winced in pain as he opened his eyes to the world “Wha apen’”</p><p>”Oh my God Evan, you’re awake. I was so worried about you - you’ve been out for the last two hours or so”</p><p>“What happened” He demanded more strongly, finally regaining some control of his thoughts “Just remember the bus, nothing else”</p><p>”We were T-Boned and you were immediately knocked unconscious - the 118 found us and brought us in” Eddie began, fighting a losing battle with his tear ducts “I thought I was going to lose you Buck” he cried, reaching his hand out to cling onto his husband’s.</p><p>”You’ll never lose me Eds. Always fight back for you”</p><p>”And I love you for it, but I was so worried Ev - I don’t know what I’d do without you”</p><p>”An I don know what I’d do without you” Buck responded slowly and drowsily, before slipping back under.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>5</b>
</p><p>“How do you do it Cap”</p><p>”Do what?”</p><p>”Stand by as Athena goes running into danger that you know you can’t protect her from - how do you do it? Cause I just can’t”</p><p>”It’s not easy Eddie - but I detach myself from it, when she’s going into danger I try to tell myself that it isn’t Athena - the woman I love with my whole heart and then some, but just sergeant Grant-Nash - who’s a damn good police officer and knows what she’s doing and knows how to stay safe”</p><p>”Does it work?” Eddie questioned sceptically</p><p>”Not always - but it does help. I hate seeing her in danger but I know it’s who she is, just as it’s who Buck is - I guess it comes down to if you love someone you have to let them be themselves, otherwise do you really love <em>them</em>?”</p><p>”I know, but it still doesn’t make it much easier - you know it’s literally his job description to get shot at. He has to sign a freaking disclaimer that if he gets killed in action nobody can take legal action against the LAPD for it unless it’s a negligence suit!”</p><p>”And it’s literally your job description to run into unstable burning buildings” Bobby said with a raised eyebrow “You just have to trust him to do everything he can to come home, just like you”</p><p>”I know, but I still don’t think I can stop worrying about him”</p><p>”Hey, I get the feeling totally. Just you have to be strong on scene, you can break down and smother him in hugs and kisses as soon as the job is done - and trust me I have done that with Athena and vice versa but you have to be able to trust that he will do his very best on scene”</p><p>“Thanks Cap” Eddie responded, feeling slightly better for knowing that his fearing for Buck was certainly not a unique feeling amongst first responder couples.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>+ 1</b>
</p><p>The 118 and LAPD were attending yet another in a series of serial murder’s through arson when it happened. Just has Buck handed the perp over to Athena and the other regular officers there was an almighty explosion from the house. Shocking everyone other than the perpetrator into silence.</p><p>”I knew you were going to catch me this time - just thought I should leave a little surprise for the firefighters. What do you think? Like the fireworks?” He sneered, before laughing in a way that can only be described as evil.</p><p>Moments later the first of many distress calls came over the radio “This is firefighter Diaz, myself and Captain Nash are trapped in the building - the ceiling has come down and we’re not going to be able to get out unassisted”</p><p>Instantly Buck and Athena’s eyes met, before the younger man declared “Sergeant Grant-Nash, I don’t think I did those handcuffs quite tight enough. Would you just check them for me?”</p><p>”Of course Sergeant Diaz” she replied with a furious look in her eyes as she pulled on the white plastic until the perpetrator winced in pain. “I think that’s them now Evan - they were a little loose, wouldn’t want him to get away after all” she sneered, handing him over to the other officers with a look of fury before joining the SWAT</p><p>”What do we do now?”</p><p>”Wait on help to arrive” She said, her voice breaking slightly at the thought of losing Bobby, she could tell Buck was having similar thoughts about Eddie</p><p>”What if it’s not on time” he asked, voice achingly close to a whisper</p><p>”Then we deal with that when it comes Buck. But there’s nothing we can do - the place is still on fire, we’d die alongside them”</p><p>Buck didn’t respond, he just punched the side of his truck so hard that a metallic clang sounded from the heavy armour - he then stepped back, hand aching, and waited on help to come.</p><p> </p><p>”Evan!”</p><p>”Athena!” Both Bobby and Eddie shouted, running towards their partners as soon as they were cleared by the paramedics</p><p>When Eddie fell into Buck’s embrace, the younger man felt tears streaming down his face “I was so worried Eds, I can’t do this without you anymore - think I’ve become too codependent” he laughed, a wet chuckle rising from his stomach</p><p>”You’ll never have to. I’ll always come home Buck, just like you”</p><p>And that was how they stood, both couples locked into embraces for several minutes until they were moved on by the fresh firefighters and cops. And at that moment, despite all of their worries, both Buck and Eddie knew it was going to be okay.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. The group</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Based off ‘the group’ in homeland, what if Buck’s past catches up with him one day at the station - leaving all the members of the 118 in shock...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Dar, stop. I. Don’t. Do. This. Anymore. Do I make myself clear?” Buck was snarling into his phone as Eddie walked past him in the truck bay. The older man raising an eyebrow in concern and sticking around when Buck didn’t even acknowledge him.</p><p>
  <em>“Evan, you’re one of the best. We need you, and I know there is a part of you that still needs us”</em>
</p><p>“I will never need you again - I came to you and said ‘I want out’ and I now, finally, am out. I will never go back there again. I can’t!”</p><p>
  <em>“People are going to die if you don’t. It’s a tough mission, the guy I brought in to replace you isn’t ready for that yet”</em>
</p><p>“I DON’T CARE! I am out and it is going to stay that way permanently” Buck snapped, rage consuming him</p><p>
  <em>“After everything I did for you....”</em>
</p><p>“You saved me from the streets Dar, and I will always thank you for that. But I think we both need to accept that I have left the group and I never want to return. End of” The young man said softly, a lone tear pricking his eye “Goodbye” he added, hanging up the phone and looking at the device as if it had murdered his entire family.</p><p> </p><p>”What was all that about Buck?” Eddie called over, as soon as he could see him finished</p><p>”Oh, uhmmm nothing Eds- just my landlord being a jerk again”</p><p>”Buck, if something’s wrong. If you’re into something over your head, you can tell me - you know that. Right?”</p><p>”I can’t tell you this Eds, please - I would if I could” </p><p>“So it’s not your landlord, Buck - I promise I won’t judge you, whatever it is - if you’re having money troubles or something...”</p><p>”No, I just, I just can’t go back Eds - if I do... I’m not sure I’ll get out this time” Buck said with a sigh</p><p>”Where, your apartment? Buck, you need to tell me more here”</p><p>”Afghanistan” He mumbled, snapping Eddie out of his stupor</p><p>”You’re in the army, the reserves, national guard?”</p><p>“Uhh, no - it’s not that easy... have you ever heard of ‘the group’?”</p><p>”The group?” The older man asked confusedly, as he racked his brains for any mention of them</p><p>”You probably haven’t - it’s an elite, unconventional special forces unit that operates on behalf of the Central Intelligence Agency. And between 2010 and 2016 I was an operator with them. I tell everyone I dropped out of SEAL training, but that’s not necessarily true - I did BUD/S I just wasn’t a SEAL - I instead was a member of the group. They carry out high profile assassinations, that sort of thing - it’s more surgical than blowing up a city block with a big ass missile I guess. Some of our victims have honestly never been found, for others there isn’t anything left of them to be found”</p><p>Eddie blinked in shock at that - Evan Buckley was many things, but a cold hearted assassin wasn’t one of them</p><p>”I found it incredibly hard - but it gave me enough money to feed myself and put a roof over my head and... even if I spent more time living out of the country, it gave me a chance at a life I guess”</p><p>”What do you mean a chance at a life Buck?”</p><p>”If Dar Adal hadn’t found me I probably would’ve been dead by now Eds, cause from the ages of sixteen and half to eighteen I was homeless - my parents kicked me out, I had no qualifications, no money, no family - I got by, just about, by breaking into people’s houses and stealing what I needed - I never took anything that looked to be of particular value, only ever clothes or first aid supplies or food - and always from houses in more affluent areas where I was sure they could afford it... I guess I got really good at it and I was never caught cause I never took anything they could trace - only ever food and the cheapest rattiest clothes the people had. Then, one night I broke into Dar’s house - of course a senior CIA executive’s house had quite a lot more security than I knew how to contend with and I was caught pretty quickly - but I guess I impressed him. He said he wouldn’t have known I was there had it not been for the infrared laser system which I couldn’t possibly have expected and he gave me two options there and then. A job, or a one way trip to Guantanamo for breaking into his house. Said I fitted the bill he was looking for - I think his exact words were ‘a street wise pretty boy’” Buck shuddered “What he meant was that I wouldn’t look out of place at a high society function where everyone around me had more money than I could ever dream of and that I could use my charm and looks to make them believe I belonged, before managing to seduce the target and put a bullet between their eyes the second we were away from the party”</p><p>”Holy shit Buck” Eddie gaped, shocked by the apathy with which Buck summed up his life before the 118</p><p>”Yeah, that wasn’t all we did though - we also frequently worked in war zones, pretending to be locals or whatever and killing the enemy from within their own ranks. That’s why I was so hostile with you when you first arrived - I knew all about you long before you knew me”</p><p>”How?”</p><p>”Well, you shot me in the shoulder when you got your silver star Eds - I don’t hold it against you, because in the craze of battle shit happens, but I was most definitely on your side and it left me bleeding in the desert for three days before someone found me - it was deep cover Eds, so I couldn’t just go to the hospital - I almost died of infection” Buck added, unbuttoning the top of his shirt and pulling the collar down to show an angry red scar. “Like I said, I don’t hold it against you - you weren’t to know, but I mean... I was worried you would recognise me or something”</p><p>”Dios Buck, I’m so sorry” Eddie whispered, tears falling from his eyes at the admission - he had almost killed his best friend. Yet another reason to never look at his medal again “I’m so sorry”</p><p>”Hey, like I said - it’s okay, and I attested to your heroism with your superiors. But I was more scared you had seen me and would recognise me and make everyone think I was a terrorist or something” Buck chuckled, looking at a very startled Eddie</p><p>”Truth be told I don’t really remember that much from it - but I’m...”</p><p>”If you say you’re sorry again I’ll beat your ass” Buck declared, raising his eyebrow in challenge “It was an accident and they happen. But back to my story. In 2011 I begged Dar to let me leave - told him it wasn’t the life for me, that I couldn’t do it, couldn’t take it anymore”</p><p>”But you only got out in 2016?”</p><p>“They wouldn’t let me leave - I think I’ve done hundreds of polygraph tests and interviews and this and that and risk assessments and all sorts of other shit. But it took five attempts for them to decide that I wasn’t a risk to national security and could be allowed to leave the agency. It was honestly the worst experience of my life and I just can’t go back - but I feel indebted to them none the less” Buck sobbed</p><p>”You listen to me and you listen to me good Evan Buckley. You gave them six years of your life, hell you said it yourself - you almost died for them” Eddie’s voice wavered at that last bit, undoubtedly from the role he played “you do not owe them a thing” he declared, aching to hug the younger man and help him in his pain, but alas the alarms sounded before he got the chance - forcing Buck to cover his vulnerability once more and get to work....</p><p>
  <b>1 week later:</b>
</p><p>Buck swore when he saw the black Lincoln Corsair pull up at the front of the station - instantly knowing who it belonged to. “Eds, keep everyone here busy - this isn’t going to be pretty” he added, as an ageing man who despite his relatively unassuming looks, still had an air of danger surrounding him.</p><p>”Its him isn’t it, that’s the mysterious Dar Adal” Eddie concluded in a whisper</p><p>”It is, and best case scenario this ends in a massive shouting match, worst case it ends with an ambulance and it probably won’t be for him” Buck muttered darkly, bounding down the stairs to cut the man off before anyone else would see him. While Eddie went off to distract the crew, he heard a snarled ‘not here’ before both men disappeared out the bay doors.</p><p>Twenty minutes later, Buck returned to the station looking absolutely ashen - carrying a stack of letters in his hand</p><p>”So, how did it go Buck?” Eddie muttered as soon as they were together, immediately sweeping the younger man into a hug when he started sobbing</p><p>”He said I don’t have to go, on the condition that I took the letters”</p><p>”The letters?”</p><p>”Everyone on the group writes a letter to their loved ones before they leave and should something happen to them it’s delivered to them, normally by Dar - but I guess he decided to punish me this time”</p><p>”Oh God Buck, how the fuck does he live with himself...”</p><p>”This is a man who had an analyst’s daughter taken in by child protective services solely because she annoyed him Eds- if he wanted to be nasty he’d ensure I ended up on the streets again”</p><p>Eddie recoiled in shock - finally realising the fear in which Buck had lived his entire life “but that’s corrupt and illegal and...”</p><p>”He’s so powerful that he can make anything disappear Eds- or anyone. That’s why I didn’t want him anywhere near me family. One day, he is going to threaten me with something I can’t stand to lose and when that happens my letter will be addressed to all of you” Buck said softly, drying the tears from his eyes.</p><p>”What’s going on boys?” Athena asked, as she came marching into his station, immediately clocking Buck’s sobbing</p><p>“Nothing Athena” Buck replied morosely</p><p>”If something’s wrong Buck - if you’re in over your head in something, I’ll always help you Buckaroo”</p><p>”Athena, I’m so far over my head that you’ll only lose yourself too if you try to pull me out” He moaned, before standing up and leaving. In the wake of his confession, she saw Eddie’s heartbroken look</p><p>”He’s not wrong ‘Thena and there is truly nothing you’re going to be able to do for him. Just trust me when I say it’s not illegal”</p><p>”Tell me everything”</p><p>”No, that’s his story - and he wants to protect you by leaving you in the dark. Maybe one day he won’t have to, but that day certainly isn’t now”</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>10 years later:</b>
</p><p>“How did your meeting with he who shall not be named go Babe?” Eddie asked as Buck sank into a chair in the kitchen. They had eventually got together and married - about seven years after Eddie first joined the station. It took a lot for Buck to trust that Eddie was willing to take the risk that Dar Adal posed to all Buck’s loved ones, but eventually he caved and they started dating, marrying a year later.</p><p>”I killed him”</p><p>”WHAT!”</p><p>”He threatened Chris so I stood up and I broke his neck” Buck declared again, with a cold apathy “he said that if I didn’t deploy with the group then the surgeon’s scalpel might slip during Chris’s next surgery and I will not have him harm one hair on our boy’s head”</p><p>”But his bodyguards...”</p><p>”Put a bullet each into his stomach for good measure and helped me hide the body as well as set the scene to make it look like he’d pulled a disappearing act. If anyone looks it’ll appear he’s fled the country for Caracas”</p><p>”So he’s gone?”</p><p>”he’s gone - for good. I’m free Eds, I’m free!” Buck cheered, the realisation finally dawning on him as his husband pulled him into a bone crushing hug. Buck was free, for the first time since 2010 he was free, at long last. He was free.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Angel</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Set several years pre canon, when Eddie’s helicopter is attacked - Buck’s SEAL unit rescue them, and some propositioning ensues.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“SAM 478, this is Bagram tower. We’re requesting you make an urgent diversion from the flight plan for an emergency rescue operation, over”</p><p>”Bagram tower, this is SAM 478. We are under strict radio silence orders. Over”</p><p>”SAM 478, you are our only unit in a 90 kilometre radius of a downed medical evacuation operation that is currently taking fire from hostiles. You have your orders. Over”</p><p>”Bagram Tower, I repeat we are under strict JSOC orders and cannot deviate from the mission. Sorry”</p><p>”SAM 478, this is JSOC operational command - assessment is that there is an immediate and significant risk to life for the remaining members of medical flight Whiskey Sierra 2797 - your status has been changed and you have new orders to rescue them. Over”</p><p>”Understood, SAM 478 responding. Out”</p><p>The six SEALs in the helicopter shared a glance at each other before tooling up - checking their primary, secondary and tertiary weapons and preparing for a fight. Buck stepped towards the open side door and grabbed onto the rope, preparing to drop down when the pilot was over the target, every second passing with an increasing sense of urgency.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie was on the verge of giving up when he heard the rotors whipping over his head and saw the black hawk hovering in position. He then saw the first of six men - his angels - dropping out on the rope from the side, before limiting his rifle and starting to lay down fire and he advanced rapidly. Moments later, the huge man was behind Eddie and placing a firm hand on his shoulder</p><p>”Come on soldier - get your ass out of here!” He shouted, reloading his magazine before continuing to advance forward towards the truck with the machine gun. Moments later the sky was lit up by the flash of an exploding frag grenade and the truck was no more. As this was happening, another five guys dropped from the craft and began pulling the casualties towards the now landed helicopter. Eddie could’ve cried in relief at the sight, in fact he’s pretty sure he did.</p><p>Buck continued fighting through the attackers, another member of his team joining the battle once the casualties were safe. The duo making fast work of the remaining ten insurgents despite the burning agony blossoming out of the young man’s left shoulder. He didn’t have time to think of that yet, so he just dropped his main weapon - allowing it to hang from its sling, before withdrawing his side arm and continuing the fight.</p><p>Five minutes after fast roping into the scene, both SEALs were back on the helicopter, allowing it to take off back into the night.</p><p>”SAM 478 this is JSOC ops command - sit rep”</p><p>”Ops command, this is SAM 478 - we have two deceased on arrival, three critical and two wounded. We also have one SEAL - Chief Petty Officer Buckley with a through and through GSW to the left shoulder as a result of enemy action. Over”</p><p>”Thank you SAM 478 - our thoughts are with you. Now get back to base, over”</p><p>”Received, over and out” The pilot replied, looking behind him at the six tired SEALs and the rescued soldiers - upon whom it was only just dawning that the rescue had been a diversion from the SEAL’s main mission objective. All bar the most senior medic - Diaz his name was, who was currently working on Buck - tending to his injury with the utmost of care, having not been allowed to work on any of his rescued comrades</p><p> </p><p>”Are you an angel, cause it sure looked like you fell from heaven” Eddie joked, poking and prodding at the entry wound to ensure no fragments of bullet remained</p><p>”Pretty sure being an angel has better pay and benefits Diaz - but I doubt anyone on this helicopter’s gonna get admittance upstairs to find out”</p><p>”I don’t know - it’s all about perspective isn’t it? I think preventing people from organising mass casualty attacks on civilians counts as God’s work if you believe in him”</p><p>”Do you?”</p><p>”I want to - but my local church back home is a bit backwards and doesn’t much like people like me if you understand”</p><p>”I understand totally - and although that sucks, when we get back home - I’d kinda like to understand even more about you Diaz”</p><p>”Evan Buckley - are you asking me out on a date?”</p><p>”Yes, I am asking you on a date and yes I am just as shocked as you are” Buck responded truthfully</p><p>”Well, what can I say to such a romantic offer other than yes” Eddie joked in reply, pressing a feather light kiss to the side of Buck’s mouth”</p><p>”Damn, Buck does have game” one of the younger warfare operators exclaimed - reminding Eddie of the relatively public setting of their kiss. A kiss he hoped would be the first of many. “that took like two minutes and one near death experience”</p><p>”Thanks Jim, way to ruin the moment”</p><p>”My pleasure Buckaroo. My pleasure”</p><p> </p><p>Twenty minutes later the helicopter landed at the FOB and Eddie’s team were handed off to another craft that would return them to relative safety. However, despite the sounds of explosions and gunfire in the distance, Eddie didn’t want to go for anything - probably would’ve tried to hide somewhere was it not for the light piece of paper nestled safely into his breast pocket and containing the address and phone number of one Evan Buckley. It was a little piece of the man who, even after one meeting, he was sure he would love for the rest of his life. Moments before takeoff however, the very real Buck hopped into the seat next to him. Flashing a wide grin and stating that “the doc said I should head round to base in order to make sure this doesn’t get infected - mind if I take this seat Eddie?”</p><p>”Please, make yourself comfortable. I’d love some company for the flight back”</p><p>”Good, me too” Buck said softly, smiling into the other man’s eyes. With a look that proved he had fallen just as hard for Eddie as the medic had for him...</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Raid</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Buck gets a call from his commander, requiring him to come in for an emergency op. The only catch is that he’s in the middle of a shift...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Buckley” Buck had said, as soon as he answered his phone</p><p>”Lieutenant Commander - I need you to take out a team to seize an Iranian vessel that’s just gone inside our territorial waters. Intelligence says it has links to the IRGC and could be carrying a high value target on his way to a secret meeting with an Iranian asset inside our country. CIA and FBI have asked us to bring him in”</p><p>”Can the Coast Guard not do it?”</p><p>”They don’t want anywhere near it - as soon as they found out it had links to the revolutionary guard they made it plain that they wanted the Navy to take over”</p><p>”Right, well sir I’m currently on a shift but I’ll see if I can get off and I’ll get down to Coronado ASAP” Buck replied, as Eddie fixed him with a raised eyebrow</p><p><br/>”Who the hell was that?”</p><p>”My CO with the reserves - he needs me to take a search team out to capture a boat just off the coast. They think it has ties to the IRGC and has a high level target onboard”</p><p>”Yikes”</p><p>”I’ll be fine Eds - but do me a favour. Tell Cap I had bruising around my ribs or something and you packed me off for an x-ray at the hospital”</p><p>”Okay, you’ll be back tomorrow?”</p><p>“Yeah, six hours maximum” Buck replied with a grin as he ran into the locker room for his stuff</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>”Hey, where’s Buck?” Bobby asked, a few hours later at dinner time</p><p>”Oh, I sent him off to the hospital - he has bruising around his ribs from that rescue earlier and I didn’t like the look of it. Sorry, he must’ve thought I’d tell you and I thought he’d tell you”</p><p>”That’s fine. Just, <em>you </em>tell me in future”</p><p>”Okay” Eddie easily replied, before they flicked the news on and his heart leapt into his throat...</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Earlier that day:<br/></b>
</p><p>“So, the plan is relatively simple - the coast guards will take us out in on of their ships until we’re within fast boat range, then we’ll split into three parties of seven - two of the parties will go in by boat on either side of the target and then team three will be going by helicopter and fast roping down onto the deck. Team one will be with lieutenant Winters, team two will be with Chief petty officer Carson and team three will be with me. Winters you have command of the fast boats and operational authority over the raid until I’m on deck. Understand?”</p><p>”Yes sir!”</p><p>”Brilliant. We’ll meet back here in an hour - everyone’s equipment had better be triple checked and ready to go. Dismissed!” Buck ordered</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Captain” Buck nodded as he walked onboard the coastguard ship that would bring his team to their target</p><p>”Lieutenant Commander” the captain nodded back, before taking him to the helicopter hangar that they were going to use as a staging area “I don’t envy you going into this mess, but I wish you luck”</p><p>”No luck all skill sir, you know how we are”</p><p>”Smug bastards that’s what you are Buckley”</p><p>”I’ll take that as a compliment even though I sense it wasn’t meant as one Cap” Buck replied with a smirk as his team filed in</p><p>”It certainly wasn’t, but best of luck anyway” he replied, clapping him on the shoulder as he walked back to the bridge</p><p> </p><p>”Everyone! Split off into your teams and get your flotation devices on, I don’t want anyone getting drowned due to stupidity!”</p><p>”Sir, all operators present. Requesting permission to begin equipment checks”</p><p>”Granted” Buck replied as he pulled out a box for everyone’s phones and placed his inside “If you have any electronic device that doesn’t belong to the US Navy, put it in this box now!”</p><p>Buck waited as his team all stepped forwards to surrender their devices, before he spoke up again “Now, you know the plan for this operation, it is listed on this whiteboard too. Memorise it and then get ready to go - as soon as we’re in range it’s go time” he said, before signalling for a few men to stay behind “you three, head down and give this to the armoury - tell them we’ll be down for our weapons in five minutes and that they’d better be cleaner than new”</p><p>”Yes sir”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>20 minutes later:</b>
</p><p>“Lieutenant Commander sir, the Captain ordered me to tell you that we’re within range and are ready to go”</p><p>”Thank you” “Go Go Go!” He ordered, before running out the bay doors to his waiting helicopter just as the rotors were spinning up. Once he was inside, he did one final check - feeling for his radio, beretta pistol and knife and checking that his main weapon was loaded, before he sat back in the cramped seat and composed himself for the mission.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Back at the station:</b>
</p><p>“Eddie, is something wrong?” Hen was the first to ask as she noticed his white knuckle grip on the table</p><p>”No, nothing’s wrong Hen. Don’t worry”</p><p>”Is the TV upsetting you - I can change the channel away from the news of you...”</p><p>”NO!”</p><p>”Eddie! What’s up with you” Bobby replied sharply</p><p>”Fine, if I tell you this you must promise to never let Buck know I told you. Okay?”</p><p>”Okaaay...”</p><p>”He’s leading that raid - he’s in the Navy SEAL reserves and is leading the raid. I’m just worried about him”</p><p>”Oh God, you mean?” Hen asked, as she blanched</p><p>”Right now he’s either fast roping out of that helicopter of climbing out of one of the boats - he told me to make up an excuse for him cause I overheard the call”</p><p>”How did you know?” Chim asked, contemplatively</p><p>”Remember when I went all snippy with him about doing the same job as him but in combat? Yeah, he pulled me aside afterwards and gave me a piece of his mind”</p><p>”That has to have been interesting...”</p><p>”Trust me, it was.... enlightening - I think I learnt some new swear words” Eddie replied with a smirk as they all crowded round the station’s TV and watched the live footage from the news helicopter.</p><p>”I seriously can’t believe it, Buckaroo a Navy SEAL, are you absolutely certain?” Hen asked, already knowing the answer</p><p>”Has he literally ever lied to anyone?”</p><p>”Nope”</p><p>”Then you have your answer”</p><p>
  <b><br/>meanwhile:</b>
</p><p>“We’re approaching our stop point sir, get your team ready to drop” one of the pilots called back as the helicopter began to hold a steady hover</p><p>”You heard him, get to the doors and remember the rules of engagement! I do not want to start world war three” Buck shouted as the wind whipped through the airframe and the first two people lowered themselves on deck</p><p>”Yes sir” his team replied in unison, before another group dropped. When Buck eventually lowered himself, it was to the sounds of loud shouting and heavy boots scurrying across the metal gangways on board the ship - it was large, about the same size as the coast guard frigate they had used, if not larger and had a listed crew of thirty, however, alarm bells started ringing for the CIA when at least fifty people were spotted on board. Buck’s team had already secured all the people who had been on deck and as he walked up to take over command of the raid Buck walked past a group of about seven people in handcuffs, he then looked up to see a news helicopter hovering overhead - he briefly wondered if the 118 were watching everything that was going on and immediately made sure to adjust his helmet, ensuring his birthmark wasn’t visible.</p><p>“Lieutenant! Status?” He called upon seeing Jamie Winters and he was immediately emboldened by the man’s claim that they held the bridge and therefore the ship.</p><p>”I’ve just sent teams down to search through the compartments and check for any remaining people sir, shouldn’t be long now before we have everybody rounded up for questioning”</p><p>“Great, how many prisoners do we have so far?”</p><p>”Fifty one”</p><p>”Fuck, seriously?”</p><p>”A whole load of them were in a sort of common room/lounge area when we stormed in sir” he explained</p><p>”Thank God for idiots, eh? By the way, get those seven inside - there’s a news helicopter overhead and the last thing I need is to be accused of mistreating them”</p><p>”Sure sir” he said, before calling over to have the prisoners brought inside. The lieutenant walked outside just as a sharp crack rang through the air. He then proceeded to crumple to the ground in the momentary silence between the initial shot and the overwhelming return of fire. When the guns finally fell silent once more Buck immediately ran to his 2IC and checked for a pulse. There was none, so he started chest compressions whilst calling for a medic, removing his helmet as he did so.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>At the station:</b>
</p><p>“We are now getting reports that shots have been fired and that an officer has been his and is in critical condition” The newsreader replied grimly - the programme had switched to other stories, however, when gunfire occurred they immediately cut back to the helicopter.</p><p>”Oh God” Hen whispered, as the team sat glued to their couches</p><p>”It might not be him, there’d be at least one other officer Hen” Eddie replied, as much to convince himself as her</p><p>”Wait guys look!” Chim shouted animatedly as he drew their attention back to the boat where the unmistakeable figure of Evan Buckley was crouched over the target performing CPR as the medics ran forwards</p><p>”Hallelujah” Bobby replied, letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding as they saw Buck stand up and replace his helmet whilst another medic took over. The news cut when they saw one of the medics shake his head and Buck reach down the other soldier’s shirt to rip off the spare dog tag before he ran back into the fray</p><p>”Oh no - he’s gonna be so shaken up after that” Hen said, a sad look on her face</p><p>”You think he’ll be okay?” Chim added</p><p>”He’ll be okay until the mission ends, but after that. I don’t know” Eddie responded honestly</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>On the boat:</b>
</p><p>“Who the fuck started shooting up there!” Buck yelled as he marched into the bridge that was being used as an impromptu command centre</p><p>”Rogue sailor who had a handgun. He won’t be causing anymore trouble” one of the soldiers replied as another two dragged in a man who was viciously fighting them.</p><p>”We got our target sir. Hassan Javardi - Captain in the IRGC intelligence department”</p><p>”He have papers or a visa?”</p><p>”Nothing, but he does have a fake passport if you fancy talking to Michael Windsor”</p><p>”That’s seriously the best they could come up with?” Buck replied before ordering he be guarded at all times</p><p>”Sir!” Another operator called, running into the bridge ”We have a major disturbance in one of the holds, this ship’s being used for trafficking or something and they all seem to think we want to hurt them and it’s turned violent”</p><p>”Any shots fired?”</p><p>”No”</p><p>”Keep it that way. Get people down there with cuffs - it’s not exactly ideal but I can’t have our guys getting hurt”</p><p>”On it sir, you need anything else?”</p><p>”Be as gentle as possible” Buck added, before putting in a call over his radio to the main coast guard ship calling for additional support</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>1 hour later:</b>
</p><p>The coastguard special ops team boarded the ship rapidly - probably trying to show off to their Navy counterparts more than anything, but they’re coasties so who cares, right? And began to remove the prisoners that Buck’s team had been holding - the SEALs had found a grand total of 178 people on board, mostly in the worst conditions imaginable and all of whom were on the verge of starvation. It was a harrowing sight for all involved. At the same time, the FBI team sailed out on their speedboat to escort Javardi back to custody and take him in for interrogation whilst the SEALs packed up their kit after a job well done.</p><p>All except for Buck, who sitting alone on the deck, playing with his fallen friend’s tags as he waited on the boats to arrive - he had lost people before, but there was a part of him that knew Winters’ family would have been watching the raid, and ultimately his death, live on TV. He knew that was the thing that would stick with him most - it made him almost want to do something irrational. It made him want to go back to the 118 and pull Eddie into his arms and breathe in the sandalwood scent that came from the body wash his best friend used and to make Eddie Diaz his. Loss always made Buck think about what it would be like when his time came, what would be happening if he was the one shot and he ultimately realised, that the hero’s death he had always presumed he would have, either in a fire or in a war zone wasn’t really what he wanted, he wanted to die peacefully in his home, with those he loved most nearby, but most of all he wanted Eddie to be by his side, to hold his hand and for their two imaginary wedding bands to touch just as he drew his final breath. And he knew he had to go to the 118 and that he had to confess the love he felt for the other firefighter, the love he had always felt for him and he was going to prove that he would be a good partner - it was the least he owed himself after living a life as lonely as his had been.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>that night:</b>
</p><p>His watch was displaying the time as 3am when Buck eventually arrived back to his apartment, and he felt exhausted as he unlocked the door and swung it open. He stopped with a start, however, as he saw a little card sitting on his kitchen counter, next to a protein bar and the unmistakable shape of Eddie’s St. Christopher medallion.</p><p>He walked over and opened the card, before beginning to read its words</p><p>
  <em>Dear Buck,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>We all saw what happened on the News (sorry, but it was unavoidable - I may have freaked out a little bit and blown our plan) and I of all people know how hard a loss in combat feels. That’s why I broke into your house (sorry 😉) and left this - I know it’s not a cure all, but I always found that two things helped with the nightmares after a particularly hard day. One: a full stomach, and two: a full family. So I left a bit of food for you to eat and to replenish a few of the calories you spent today as well as a bit of family in the form of the pendant I take everywhere - Shannon got me it to remind me of Christopher when I was away, but now that I’m not and can creep down the hallway to see my son all tucked up in bed asleep when I wake, I feel it’s effects are needed elsewhere. So eat the the protein bar, hold the pendant and pretend you’re getting the patented Christopher Diaz hug experience and most of all, remember that it wasn’t your fault and that over 100 refugees are safe tonight because of you. See you in the morning Buck. I’m proud of you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Eddie.</em>
</p><p>Buck felt a white hot tear run down his cheek when he read the note, rather than follow its advice, however, Buck scooped his two gifts up - electing to eat the bar whilst driving and hopped into his Jeep, destined for the Diaz house. He arrived ten minutes later and sent a quick text to Eddie’s phone</p><p><b>Buck: </b> <em>Hey, U still up? (Delivered 03:17)</em></p><p><b>Eddie: </b> <em>Yeah, U need to talk? (Delivered 03:18)</em></p><p><b>Buck: </b><em>Yes please - I’m outside, thank you for the gifts and the note. (Delivered 03:18) </em>he sent, noticing as the light on the upstairs bedroom flicked on, before the unmistakeable figure of Eddie Diaz came padding down the stairs</p><p><b>Buck: </b><em>I’m sorry it’s so late, but I didn’t think I could sleep without telling you I love you, that I’m in love with you. (Delivered 03:18) </em>He added, chuckling to himself as he saw Eddie read the message and drop the phone, muttering a quiet ‘mierda’ under his breath before practically sprinting to the door.</p><p> </p><p>”I love you Buck. So much, I just I never... fuck it” Eddie panted, pulling the younger man into his arms and stealing a searing kiss “Was so worried - don’t like you being in danger when I’m not with you”</p><p>”God, I love you so much Eds” Buck agreed, cradling the slightly smaller man in his arms as they shuffled slowly into the hallway. “All I could think about was how much I wanted you to be mine and for me to be yours”</p><p>”I’d love that Buck. Fuck, I’d love any part of yourself you’d give me” Eddie moaned, as Buck’s lips touched his own once more - it wasn’t a dirty kiss like he’d always been expecting with Buck - cause it’s Buck, the guy’s sex on a stick on a bad day. But instead it was tender, and loving - not a riot of passion, demanding more - just a gentle promise of everything. And Eddie loved it.</p><p>They stood there swaying in each other’s arms for another indeterminable amount of time, before Eddie linked his best friend’s hand in his - cause they would always be best friends, even if their relationship changed from ‘Buck and Eddie’ - the best friends who are there for each other through everything to ‘BuckandEddie’ - the boyfriends and lovers who are there for each other through everything. Eddie led Buck up the stairs and to his bedroom and the final words he uttered were “I want to hold you close tonight. Love you so much”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>10 years later:</b>
</p><p>Turns out we don’t all live forever, Buck’s mind supplied as his eyes skirted around the room - looking in vain for a way out, until they eventually landed on the thing that made even the hellish experience of the flames licking at his boots feel bearable. Eddie. His husband, his best friend, his partner, sitting next to him - a sad expression on his face as he too realised that there was going to be no escape this time. That the invincible Firefighter Diaz’s (now lieutenants, but that didn’t quite have the same ring to it) had finally been beaten and cheated out of getting to watch their now 19 year old son grow up, cheated from getting to be <em>that </em>elderly couple who cling to each other unto death, cheated out of getting to go on the big trip around Europe they had been planning for just the two of them that summer. But at peace none the less, cause at least whatever came next they were going to face it together.</p><p>A hand reaching through the smoke to grasp his own, the slight friction of their two silicone rings against each other, a final kiss and cuddle. These are the last things both men remembered before it all went black.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If anyone has any ideas you want me to write, please include them in the comments👍</p></blockquote></div></div>
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